Chapter 19 #2
Jesus hopped up on the ledge with an annoyed chirp.
“He needs to be skinned alive and tied to a hamster wheel.” Barb sneered.
I waved her off. “He’d just come back as something worse to haunt me for eternity.”
“What could be worse than that cat?”
“A dog,” I shrugged, and meant it.
Barb and I both did a shiver shake at the thought. A needy flea bag was the last thing I wanted. Dogs and sociopaths did not mix.
Cats and sociopaths? Gold.
We were silent as we watched the two captive humans behind the observation wall. The woman was still unnaturally still, and the man whimpered as far away from the door as he could get.
“So, what happens next?” I asked, crossing my arms studiously. There was a lot to learn from Barb. She could keep her victims alive for weeks. Mine never lasted more than a few hours.
Barb slapped her palm over the button again. A different, more gentle beep sounded inside the room before the metal door creaked closed. The man visibly relaxed. The woman, however, tensed even harder.
“Next, I switch it up.”
“Switch it up, how?”
“Up until this point, I’ve only ever sounded the buzzer, followed by either the opening of the door and nothing, or the opening of the door and an introduction of fear.”
“What sort of fear?”
“Eh,” she shrugged as if she weren’t putting them through the worst days of their lives. To Barb, they were just another experiment. “Something typical like snakes or spiders. Baseline triggers.”
“That sounds pretty tame compared to your other experiments.”
“The Pavlovian theory is a slow deprivation of humanity. It takes time to grow.” Barb rubbed a finger over her chin, slow strokes back and forth as she narrowed her eyes.
“They’ve been in there fourteen days, seven hours, and thirty-two minutes.
Since then, I’ve cycled between blue and warm lights to disrupt their circadian rhythm–”
“What is that?” I interrupted, and Barb turned a sharp eye in my direction. I tried my best not to shrink. With a weak laugh, I apologized and said, “Continue.”
“Thanks for your permission. Stupid girl,” she grumbled.
“You were saying something about circadian rhythm and hopefully about to tell me what the fuck it is and why it matters.”
“It’s the natural cycle of sleep. UV light direct from the sun tells the human brain to wake. UV light reflected by the moon is warm and dim which indicates it should rest. I’ve been training their minds to enter into shorter rest periods.”
“Sleep deprivation,” I realized, awed by the wrinkled evil genius beside me. How many times had I made poor decisions based on lack of sleep? The answer was: too many to fucking count. “Fear. Anxiety. Instinct…”
“Mhmm,” she nodded with a quirk of her lip. “All heightened by exhaustion. Which has led to some… interesting reactions when I introduce different physical fears and use sensory deprivation between events.”
“I’m so fucking glad I never met you when I was alive.” And I meant it. Barb would’ve smelled the weak seam in me and pulled until I came apart. Back then, when I was alive, I’m not sure I was strong enough to take it.
“I wouldn’t have chosen you,” she scoffed, her dismissive wave hurting my feelings a little more than I would have liked. “You’re too weak. Wouldn’t have lasted eight hours.”
“First of all, fuck you, Barb. You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“Keep telling yourself that, coullion.”
“Whatever. Get on with your subpar plan, you old cunt.”
Jesus narrowed his eyes, licking his paw in the most judgemental display possible. At least he was on my side. Probably.
“I’ll begin phase three shortly.”
“Which is?”
“This has all been prep for the true experiment.” She cut me a sidelong glance that made my skin itch. “What will they do to live?”
I shrugged it off, chalking it up to her being a superior serial killer that just alpha-holed me. “That sounds super fucking basic.”
“Is it though?” she mused. “When a mother is faced with either saving herself or her child, who do you think she’d choose?”
“Easy,” I scoffed. “The kid.”
Barb huffed a knowing laugh. “Biologically, yes. But, when faced with years of evolution, does that still stand?”
“Uh yeah? It’s in their code. Save the young. You’re talking about self-preservation versus innocence here. Innocence, Barb.”
“I’d like to test that theory,” she answered matter-of-factly, like she was the one being on Earth that innocence didn’t affect.
“Does she have a kid?” I pointed to the woman who was still on edge incredulously.
“No.”
I wasn’t expecting that answer. Why test a theory on subjects who didn’t match the parameters you’ve set?
“Color me confused, Barb.”
“I’m going to nab one and throw it in there. Tell ‘em that only one person is making it out of there alive.”
“Oh shit,” I breathed. “That’s diabolical.” The wheels in my mind started turning in overdrive. “He’ll choose to save himself.”
“Without a doubt. It’s the woman I’m interested in.
” Barb pulled a manilla file folder from a slim, built in counter and cabinets at her side.
“Natalie Crawford; twenty-one years of age. Abuse and neglect evident in the home as a minor. Life patterns so far indicate low self-worth but an innate drive to survive despite it.”
A stone dropped in my stomach, and saliva filled my mouth from the vomit brewing where it fell. Natalie…
She was me.
Flashbacks of my human life were a ringing assault in my ears.
The memory of the absolute overwhelm of hatred I’d felt for myself came back ten fold like a sucker punch to the face.
Every day was a battle between life or death.
I felt too worthless to live, but was terrified of what would come next.
Was there an afterlife? Would I be welcomed to sanctuary or doomed to the same torture for eternity?
That fear kept me fighting. I’d been so poor at it, though. It had been a pitiful attempt at life.
“That’s,” I whispered, trailing off as I scrambled to form a thought.
Literally, any thought besides the parallel to my human life would be great.
Jesus took that moment to clean his asshole.
It wasn’t the distraction I was looking for, but I was thoroughly grossed the fuck out.
“Nasty ass,” I whispered shakily in his direction.
“I’m interested to see whether or not she deems her life worthy over a child’s.”
“Jesus and Judas you’re sick,” I whispered.
Something shifted. Self-preservation versus innocence sounded simple until my brain offered a different pairing: not a child—a before. Before the deal. Before the rot. I didn’t love that my head went there on its own.
“Evolution provides a millenia worth of research material.” Barb scratched her chin again and added, Even angels and demons cannot be spared from psychology,” like an afterthought.
The line landed and my pulse ticked up for no good reason. Not my situation, not my choice, and yet something in me answered like it recognized her intentions. I filed that away and kept watching.
“The human race is truly lucky to have you, Barb. So, why the man? What is he in all of this?”
“I’m happy you asked. I’ve been feeding him about three thousand calories a day; a thousand per meal with every essential nutritional value present.
Her, though, I’ve fed about fifteen hundred daily; half in the morning, half in the evening.
For a while he shared, but that generosity only went so far once it became clear they weren’t getting out of there.
In phase three, I’ll insert a small key into one of his meals. He swallows it.”
“She’s withering away and his biggest trial is going to be shitting out a small key?’
“Certainly not,” she smiled and it was the most barbaric shit I’d ever seen. “The child will be introduced into the room and I’ll provide instructions for the end game–only one person will make it out alive. The key in his stomach will unlock any of the ankle cuffs.”
“Well that’s stupid. They’ll just wait for him to take a dump in the corner.”
“They won’t be given that choice.”
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Go in there and threaten them with your walker?”
“After I beat your ass with it, yes.”
“Pfft, yeah. Jesus would smite you.”
“God did the smiting, Dany.”
“What the fuck ever Bible police. Get to the point.”
“The point has been made. I set the scenario and take notes as to how the experiment ends. I suspect that even though she’s suffering from exhaustion and malnutrition, her adrenaline stores will aid her in overpowering the man.
Whether or not she kills the child, though, is what I’m waiting to see. ”
“What’s the prize?”
“I’ve laced their meals with cyanide. I’ll tell them there’s an antidote for whoever makes it out.”
“Barb,” I said with narrowed eyes. “There’s no antidote for cyanide.”
“I know.” Barb was too old to realize she’d just dropped the evil-mastermind mic.
The white LED lights hummed above us, and I toyed with the bat charm on my necklace as I watched Natalie and the schmuck behind the glass.
Barb said he’d protected her in the beginning.
I couldn’t help but wonder if it’d made her let her guard down, if only a little.
If, in some sick way, he’d Pavlov’d her with safety.
My stomach twisted. I dropped the charm.
Barb pushed the harsh buzzer three more times and I almost jumped out of my skin. Each time was like the last– both humans would react, watch the door, and wait for what was to come. The first two times, nothing happened. The third time, however…
Color drained from the male’s face as the metal door creaked open for the third time. It hadn’t even risen midway when a hoard of fire ants funneled into the room.
“No,” he cried, tears mixing with the saliva stringing from his mouth. “Please, no more!” His nails scraped at the sealed concrete. It didn’t matter, though. The cuff on his ankle was a vice and, unless he wanted to cut it off, he wasn’t going anywhere.
“It’s a funny thing, the Pavlovian theory,” Barb mused. “The experiments change, but the concept remains the same. You use an experience mixed with an outcome to trick the brain into releasing the appropriate chemicals; whether it’s fear, excitement, arousal… safety.”
I could feel her withered stare burning a hole into my temple. I shifted on my feet and cleared my throat, trying not to shrivel under her scrutiny.
“Even security.” Her voice morphed from clinical to something more personal.
Judgemental. “One could be trained to feel safe even in turbulent waters. All you’d need is someone willing to hand over a life jacket and assure whomever that the jacket would keep them safe from drowning, even though they leave out that you’re in the middle of the ocean, thousands of miles away from shore with no hope of survival. ”
“If you have something to say Barbara, just spit it out.”
“You’ve been thrown overboard from a ship that was set on taking you to land by a salesman with a life jacket. If you haven’t figured that out, I can’t help you.
Barb’s words scraped down my sanity like a witch’s nails on an old oak tree. The feeling weighed on my chest, an anxiety that set my heart racing and my instincts on edge. Her stare was too pointed, and words too on target.
“Alright Batty Barb,” I grumbled, a touch more breathless than I would have preferred, but I had to get the fuck out of here. “Let me know how your diabolical scheme goes.”
“Probably not.”
“Save those eyeballs for me. Lucifer forgot to buy meatballs.”
I gripped the door with trembling hands and, as I stepped through, heard Barb whisper, “Hope you know how to swim, coullion.”