Unwanted

Chapter 20

It felt like a hundred years had passed since I’d walked back to Luscious. Quite frankly, I’d forgotten that I had a day job.

Day job? Night job?

When I walked through the employee door, the strip club was in complete, chaotic disarray. Half naked women clomped down the hall in stilettos, frenzied lights flashed from the stage door and, above it all, was Vinny’s hellcat shrieking.

“I don’t care who’s up there, whose tits I have to flash, or what their job is in this fucking club, get them on stage now! I wanna see asses clapping and pussies speaking so many languages I gotta call a translator to get paid!” Vinny was red-faced and ready to blow.

“Fucks sake,” I groaned under my breath before flipping on the sparkle switch. “Vinny!” With arms wide open, I walked toward my boss, engulfed his sweaty back in a hug, and placed a kiss on either side of his salty, salami smelling cheeks. “You’re looking extra… flamboyant today.”

“Cut the shit and get naked, Ivy. Nova and Sapphire never showed and I’ve got a full house with no turn-around, no lap dances, and no fucking money streaming in.”

The fuck?

“What do you mean Nova and Sapphire never showed?”

“Wh-whadda-whaddya mean ‘what do I mean’?” His voice dripped frantic sarcasm as he fumbled over them just to taunt me; he was lucky I was too concerned to be pissed. “Exactly what I said. They ain’t here for their shifts and I’m not making money. So go.”

Thoroughly irritated and ready to wipe the floor with his fucking toupee, I stomped to the dressing room to see what the hell was going on.

Raven jumped when my reflection popped into the mirror beside her and demanded, “What’s going on? Where is everyone?”

“If I knew I’d have already dragged them here by the ear. Caramel, Sapphire, and Nova? No idea.”

“Carm?” I asked breathlessly. “Caramel isn’t here either? Vinny said–”

“Nope,” Raven answered in her thick northern accent. “First the twins, now them. We’re falling apart here.” She turned away and fluffed her teased hair in the mirror, spraying one last puff of hairspray before heading out the door.

Alarm bells clouded my ears like the worst case of tinnitus. It wasn’t like any of them not to at least text one of us if something was wrong; especially Carm. I nearly dropped my phone after pulling it out of my oversized purse.

The sick feeling in my stomach worsened. No missed calls. No texts. Just crickets. Worse than crickets, actually. Try fucking locusts on a hot southern night.

I called Carm first and, with each monotonous dial tone, another round of ants chewed at my skin. “Come on, Carm. Pick up.”

“Hey! You’ve reached Theresa! I don’t really like to answer the phone, so shoot me a text and I’ll hit ya back lickity-split!” Her sweet, sweet voice was followed by a beep that made my teeth grit.

“Hey Carm, it’s me. I’m here at Luscious and you’re not. Is everything okay? Please call me back.”

Just to be safe, I sent a follow up text.

“Fuck this,” I murmured under my breath. That was five of us missing now, and it could not be a coincidence. Vinny would have to be on his own tonight.

I gathered my shit, slipped back out of Lucious, and shot Barb a text as I started in the direction of home.

Hey Batshit Barb, it’s your favorite pain in the ass. I need a favor You home?

“Dany?” a deep voice came out of nowhere.

My body jolted upward and I cried out, “Christ on a crucifix!”

Joe braced my elbow and raised a calming hand as I pulled arm back to knock him the fuck out.

“Woah, woah! Take it easy,” he soothed.

“Devil dammit Joe!”

He let go of my elbow to put both hands in the air like he’d just trapped a wild animal in the corner. Little did he know, I was much, much worse. “It’s okay, it’s just me.”

“I could have killed you!”

Skepticism deepened the wrinkle in his brow. The lack of confidence fueled the agitation that was already a fine tremble beneath my skin.

“I came to see if you wanted to have dinner with me?”

His words caused a physical, jerk reaction, forcing my feet to stumble back as I scrambled for composure.

“Excuse me?”

Joe cleared his throat and shifted into a more relaxed stance, if still a little on edge. “I was in the neighborhood and craving a good chili dog. It’s a Saturday night so…” His shoulders lifted in a slow shrug. My eyes narrowed in response.

“So you assumed that because I’m a stripper, I would be at work on a Saturday night?”

“Iiiiiiis that too far of a stretch?”

All of the witty remarks in my spank bank must have been feeling shy because not a single fucking one was ready to fly.

My phone buzzed in my hand.

I’m not home. Text me what you need and we will come to an agreement on payment.

“Fuck” I whispered, my fingers flying over the keyboard to type my response.

I need your tech skills. Friends missing. Will pay with nudes of Lucifer.

Done, was her immediate reply.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Joe asked.

“Well,” I grumbled and crossed my arms, pretending that the whole text exchange never happened because it was none of his business. “It’s not that you’re wrong about the working on Saturday night thing. You’re just not always right. I do have Saturday nights off sometimes.”

“I’m sure you do,” he encouraged with a smile.

“We were short staffed tonight so I didn’t have a choice.”

His smile dipped a fraction. Or, maybe the shadows were playing games with my eyes.

“Short staffed? Is everyone okay?”

My thoughts shifted to the girls immediately, and my worry dug its claws in deeper.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled honestly. “I hope so.”

He was silent for a few beats, his eyes watching me like he was afraid I’d either flee or have a total premenstrual level breakdown. Joke’s on him— my whole life was a never ending season of Shark Week.

“Come on. Let me buy you some dinner.”

“I’m not in the mood for chili dogs, Batman.”

“Okay, we will get some ramen then.”

“Joe, seriously, I’m not–”

“Please.” His voice rose above mine.

I chewed my bottom lip as we stared at each other. I really wasn’t in the mood for company. The way his golden retriever tail wagged as it begged to please me was too much to bear, though. He could see I was distressed, and he wanted to help.

That’s what a normal husband would do, that stupid voice of mine whispered. Imagine what it would be like to have a good guy comfort you.

And with that, the words slipped free before I could think twice about it. “Alright,” I conceded with a sigh. “But you’re buying, and I eat a lot when I’m stressed.”

“I assumed you didn’t have any money and I would have to pay anyway.” Joe took me under his arm with a crooked smile and guided me toward the food strip. “Besides. I come from mega money, remember? Ramen costs pennies from my mountain of gold.”

“Careful, Batman. Keep swinging your dick around like that and you may take out a building.”

“I’d settle for a sarcastic stripper.”

I laughed, but the sound didn’t come from my belly like it should have.

As if Joe could tell, his own laughter died down and he cleared his throat, seeming content to walk the rest of the way in a tense silence. At least I’d hoped so.

We walked the busy streets toward my favorite noodle joint. Joe’s arm stayed wrapped around my shoulders, holding me tight in a warm sheet of comfort. A protector by nature.

It felt… nice.

Joe’s arm tensed right before his voice invaded my thoughts. “Can I ask you something?”

I hummed a half answer.

“Why did you leave?”

“What?” I went from disinterested to on high alert.

“I thought we had a good night together, and then…” Joe ran a hand through his hair boyishly, dancing around the intimate nature of his question. It felt so at odds with the aggressive way he fucked me.

“Then what?”

“Then I went to the kitchen to make you breakfast and when I came back, you were just gone.”

My mind betrayed me and went straight to the pits of hell, spiraling toward the dark angel ruling its depths.

I’d worked hard to keep Luci from my thoughts since that night. Joe obliterated all efforts with a single question. He’d given me one hell of a night, but it wasn’t the time spent in his bed I’d never forget.

“Enjoy your humble morning as nothing more than a fleeting memory in time.”

Lucifer’s voice wrapped around my senses like a songbird in mourning, the sound leaving an ache where my soul used to be.

How was it possible to yearn for someone you hated down to your marrow?

That naggy little voice in my shriveled heart whispered, “Do you hate him, Dany..?”

“Dany? Hello?”

I hadn’t noticed that we’d stopped walking. Joe’s face appeared across my vision, once again pulling me away from Lucifer.

“I’m sorry,” I said with a slight shake of my head. “What was the question?”

For the first time since I’d known him, Joe looked agitated. The muscles in his jaw jumped, and his eyes darted away before he answered, “Nothing. Let’s just go.”

“I’m sorry Joe. I’m a little off tonight–“

“Yeah, I’d say so,” he threw back. “Do you know how that felt, Dany?”

“I– I didn’t mean to–“

Joe spun back around to face me, and we were nose to nose within the span of a breath.

“Didn’t mean to what?” His fists clenched at his sides as every warning bell pitched inside my brain. “Leave me high and dry after a night I thought was special?”

“Joe,” I tried again. “It was special. It’s just, I just don’t…” I scrambled for words, anything that would place the blame on my shoulders rather than his. “I’m not the kind of girl you–”

“Just forget it.” Joe turned around again, trying to hide the silver lining his eyes. He hadn’t been quick enough, though, and the sight of his tears threatening to spill melted me into a puddle of guilt and defeat.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You deserved more than that. Shit.” The huff of laughter that followed my words was tinged with self-depreciation and for the first time in over a decade, I let a sliver of true emotion show.

“You deserve more, period. I’m not good, Batman.

You should run while you’ve still got the chance. ”

He didn’t speak for a long time and, when he did, it wasn’t what I expected.

Joe shuffled around in his pants pocket, producing a leather wallet and from it, a twenty dollar bill.

“Take this. I need some space, but I’d still like to pay for your dinner.”

I tried to protest. He wasn’t having any of it. Joe slipped the bill into the pocket of my sweatpants, planted a slow, tender kiss on my cheek, and squeezed my hand before walking away.

He didn’t say anything, rather left me standing in stunned silence. I watched him walk away.

My phone buzzed in my pocket followed by the chorus of Purple Rain by Prince. I watched Joe walk away for another second before shaking it off and looking at the screen. I didn't remember setting that song as a ringtone–

The screen still glowed and everything in the fucking universe stopped.

One missed call.

Luci.

The phone buzzed again, this time with a text message.

Hello, dearest Dany.

Against my best wishes, I’ve followed your advice and secured a telephone.

You’ll find that I’ve personalized my ringtone, the way you seem to like it.

I was unkind when last we met. Allow me to make amends this evening.

The mortals are gearing up to celebrate the namesake of your cat’s fake birth. Perhaps we should decorate.

Yours,

Lucifer

My breath caught. Purple Rain still rang in my ear, but not nearly as loud as the words he’d written. Lucifer had bought a phone, put himself in my contacts, tuned his life to my soundtrack, and then offered a slice of normalcy I craved in a world that was anything but.

It was so unlike him that I laughed.

Or, maybe it was just like him. Maybe it was the soft part of Lucifer that no one took the care or time to see. And he’d–fuck.

“Yours. Lucifer.”

The lump in my throat didn’t budge.

…Mine?

A few hours ago, I’d let myself picture what I considered a clean version of living: keys on hooks, quiet dinners at a table with wine and homecooked meals, and the only murder necessary was that of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Dinners with a man who worked nine to five, ate chili dogs at midnight, and stood between me and danger.

Then Luci came in like a blazing hellstorm and crumbled it to ash. What was more normal than decorating for Christmas, even if it was with Satan?

My body answered before my head did. Heat under my skin, excitement that I hadn’t been trained to feel but happened all on its own when Luci was near, and a hunger that wasn’t surface level; it was primal.

Lucifer remembered what I loved and what I pretended not to. He’d seen my imperfections and didn’t look over them the way Joe seemed to. The Devil was cruel and beastly when he wanted to be, but tonight, he’d chosen gentle.

He’d chosen our kind of normal.

And that was somehow worse because he created a space I wanted to step into. I could have the formal dinners in a pristine setting like I’d always dreamt I’d have, or…

Or I could have ramen in my bloodstained clothes. I could have the Devil in my living room untangling Christmas lights, a man who’d looked into my soul and never shied away. Only looked at me like I was brighter than the strands in his hands.

Joe felt safer, but Lucifer? Lucifer was starting to feel like home.

My fingers steadied around the phone. I tossed Joe’s twenty on the ground and walked back to the shitty apartment and the Devil I knew would be waiting there.