Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Sofia
I block out Luca's mindlink when he tries to talk to me as I race through the forest. My lungs burn, but I push harder, deeper into the forest. I hate running. Stupid Luca, making me do cardio so I can get away from him. I’ve gone on more intentional solo runs in the past few days than I did last year.
But anger fuels my every step—at him, at myself, at the fucked-up Fate that put us together. Shit, it doesn’t stop there. I’m angry at my parents, at Ryan, at those fuckers kidnapping omegas, at life. I’m just angry.
How does he still have the power to hurt me?
To disappoint me? I’m a strong, beautiful alpha wolf.
A warrior who’s earned every ounce of respect I get.
I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m worthy.
Except my mate, apparently. I hate that voice.
The one that only seems to pipe up when it comes to the insecurities that Luca gave me.
Ugh, I hate this!
I am not that girl. I’m not insecure. I don’t wait around, hoping for anyone to value me. They do or they don’t, and I put my energy into the ones that want me. Fuck anyone who doesn’t like me for who I am.
Especially if it’s because of something I can’t change about myself and wouldn’t even if I could.
And that’s how I find myself at Emily and Jackson’s place.
I need some time with someone who loves me for who I am.
I know she’s working right now, but I only need five minutes.
A quick hug from my bestie and I’ll be right as rain again.
Emily’s smile is already bright when she opens the door, and some of the weight pressing in on my chest eases immediately.
“Hey girl, got a minute?”
“Always for you,” she says while beckoning me inside. “Coffee?”
“Yep, all the caffeine and whatever sugary snacks are available, please.”
Emily glances up at me. Goddess, she is so tiny compared to my 5’9” frame. Seriously, how does Jackson not have a permanently sore neck from looking down at her? Especially given how his eyes never leave her when they are in a room together.
A few minutes later, we’re seated at the kitchen table with steaming mugs and a pile of snacks between us. She studies me the way only Emily can, her attention sharp and soft all at once.
“What happened?”
She reads me like a book—as per usual—and I love that. Removes all the bullshit and has led to the dropping of my solid walls since meeting her. I can’t quite comprehend what it is, but I’ve felt connected to Emily from the first moment I met her.
“Who said something happened?”
Emily raises an eyebrow, and I let out a small laugh, before launching into the cliff notes version of the morning.
“Okay, fine!” I say, relenting because there’s no point in pretending I didn’t come here to talk about it.
“So, let's see, on today's episode of ‘My Life is a Soap Opera’, Luca showed up to training today, freaked out when I was supposed to spar with Simon, threw me over his shoulder, slapped my ass, and carried me out of there like a caveman.”
Emily nearly spits out her coffee. “Holy crap.” Her eyes are wide, and she leans back in her chair with her hands clasped in front of her mouth.
I take a long sip of my coffee and enjoy my sugar fix while processing the events of the past half hour.
“And this was bad for two reasons. One,”—I hold up a finger.
“I was all kinds of turned on, even though I really didn’t want to be.
And two,”—I hold up a second finger and take a breath to steady myself.
“I sort of told him I’m bi. And let’s just say his reaction was…
not comparable to your lovely, supportive one. ”
“Asshole,” Emily mutters, shocking me. Sweet, polite Emily swearing? She almost never curses, so her caring enough to let out an expletive has me barking out a laugh, tension easing from me. This is exactly what I needed—a reminder that I’m not alone.
I pop a Reese’s cup—my absolute favorite—into my mouth and lean back in my chair.
All the tension has seeped out of me, and my tightly coiled muscles have softened.
Fate might have screwed me over with Luca, but I like to think it’s not all bad if it sent me Emily for a best friend.
Maybe this is the Goddess’s way of apologizing for how dreadful my fated mate would be.
And how monstrous her first fated mate was.
I think we were meant to find each other.
“Yeah, so if there was any further proof needed that Luca can’t be my mate, there it is.”
“Yeah, that’s fair. You deserve so much better than a mate who doesn’t accept you for who you are. You, my friend, are a beautiful, kind, wonderful, completely badass alpha wolf, and anyone who doesn’t see that is a damn fool.”
I look away when my eyes sting with unshed tears, her words filling me with the reassurance I hate to need.
Because yes, I know I’m all those things.
But I hate that when it comes to Luca, I still need to hear it.
Emily misses nothing as usual, and she is pulling me out of my chair and drawing me into a tight hug straight away.
“Thanks, Em. Love you.”
“Love you too, Fia.”
“I'd better go. I’ve been slacking on my stand-in Luna tasks.” I say before finishing my coffee and giving Emily one last squeeze. I brush my hand across my cheeks before pulling out my big-girl claws and heading towards the pack medical center.
Luca pushes at the mindlink again, but nope. Not happening right now.
The medical center is quiet today, as usual. Doc runs a tight ship, and the pack has been mostly safe for the past few years, so it’s rare that anyone actually needs his help. It’s mostly resetting bones from warrior training mishaps and delivering pups these days.
“Hi Maria,” I say to one of the pack nurses as I walk in. “Doc available?”
“Sure, Luna, he’s in his office with Stan.”
“Thanks,” I call out with a smile as I round the desk.
She was friends with my mom before she left and checked in on me afterwards.
Mom finding her fated mate in her forties despite having a chosen mate was huge gossip.
There was a lot of talk behind our backs at the time, and I’ll never forget who was and wasn’t supportive when Ryan and I needed it most.
Ryan did his best with me, but sometimes a girl needs a woman’s help.
“Come in,” Doc calls out before I have time to knock. I twist the handle and pop my head in. Doc is perched in his chair, with Stan leaning against his desk. Fifty years mated, and they’re still disgustingly adorable.
“I was wondering if I would see you soon, Sofia. How are you doing?” Doc asks while Stan gives me a small wave and a warm smile.
“Oh, you know, slowly losing my mind, but it is what it is! I’m just here for the usual; see if you need me to order any supplies, check on current patient status, anything else you need. Is now a good time? I can come back later.”
“Now is perfect. Stan and I are just finished,” he says while squeezing Stan’s knee. Stan leans in to give Doc a chaste kiss and then wishes me goodbye before heading out the door. Since Stan retired as a warrior, he has met Doc for a mid-morning coffee break and lunch every day.
They are obviously part of the old type of fated mates, back before the Goddess got everything messed up.
Doc fills me in on current patients: an unranked female who gave birth to twins yesterday, a warrior with a broken wrist after training today, and another who had to have her nose reset but she has gone home already.
Oops, that one might have been me. But nothing overly exciting or that requires much attention.
“Are they ready for me to go chat with them and see if they need any support from the pack?”
“Yes, they should be. But, Sofia, before you do that, I want to know how you are?”
“Me? I’m fine. Why?”
“You haven’t accepted Luca as your mate,” he says. His gaze is stern as he glances at my neck and the obvious lack of a mating mark. Like he wouldn’t have been able to tell instantly if I had accepted Luca. It would have changed my scent immediately.
“I’m not planning to. Ryan doesn’t want me to reject him. He wants me to give him a chance,” I say as I try not to sound like a stroppy teenager. “So, I guess I’m waiting a few weeks before rejecting him?”
My cheeks burn at how I made that sound like a question. That is what’s happening. No question about it.
Doc levels me with that look again, and it’s an effort not to squirm in discomfort. For an unranked wolf, Doc gives off serious alpha vibes. Especially within the walls of the pack medical center.
“Do you want some heat suppressants?”
Flames roar up my face. Goddess, this is so not a conversation I want to be having with Doc of all people. “Don’t I have to, uh, have sexual contact with him first?”
“Yes,” he says as he continues to pierce me with his gaze. “And a few weeks is a long time to avoid sexual relations with your fated mate.”
Fuck. I should be able to say that would never happen.
That I’d rather sew my vagina closed than let him touch it.
But the last thing I need is to go into heat.
Emily told me what her first heat was like, and it sounded unbearable.
Hot—because she had Jackson to get her through it—but unbearable all the same.
She started taking the suppressants immediately afterwards, telling me that she and Jackson want to enjoy each other and focus on themselves for a while before considering pups.
I definitely can’t risk that happening to me. I groan before agreeing it’s probably for the best that I take them. Just in case I lose my damn mind, or more likely, my pussy takes over.