Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Sofia
Leaving the antiseptic smell of the medical center behind, I walk to the pack house to check on the unmated wolves' quarters and the kitchen supplies. I’m nearly finished when the heady scent of amber and sandalwood invades my nostrils.
My wolf immediately perks up, and I roll my eyes at her.
She’s so fucking easy when it comes to him.
I miss when I was the slutty one out of us. That was a lot more fun for me.
“Can we talk?” Luca asks. His voice is low and zaps straight to my core.
“Nope, nothing more to say,” I say breezily, moving past him.
“Please?” I glance up at him, and, and for a heartbeat, I see the old Luca. The one who always let me tag along and defended me no matter what. But then it’s gone again. And all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. I shake my head and turn to walk out, but he follows me.
Of course he does. Three years of not wanting to be anywhere near me and now he can’t keep away.
“I’m trying to play nicely, but if you keep acting like a brat, then I’ll throw you over my shoulder again. And this time I won’t let you go so easily.”
What the fuck? Who the hell does he think he is? And why do I want to push his buttons and see what happens? Heat pools low in my belly as shame flushes my cheeks. He knows. He smells what he does to me, and his nostrils flare as the scent of my arousal hits him.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” I grit out. I’m going for outraged, but really, I’m humiliated. Yup, deep burning shame at the thoughts of my fucking nemesis knowing how hot he makes me. It’s not fair that female arousal can be scented but males can hide theirs.
“Are you going to stop being a brat and talk to me?”
“I’m not a brat!” I mutter while crossing my arms. Shit, that totally sounded bratty, didn’t it? “Ugh. Fine, talk.”
“Not here,” he says as he grabs my elbow and leads me to one of the free bedrooms. Sparks erupt where his hand touches me, and I pull away from his grasp as if it burns. I lift myself to sit on the desk, crossing my legs to reduce the chances of him noticing any further arousal.
“I need to understand what bisexual means.”
What an unbelievable asshole! Is he actually that ignorant? He really can’t even Google things? I shouldn’t have to explain this to him. But I want to get this conversation over and done with. I guess I’m playing teacher today.
“Well, Luca, being bisexual means being attracted to both males and females. For some, it leans more towards one sex or the other. Any other questions for today’s sex education class?”
I raise an eyebrow and stare at him. He leans back against the bedroom door, crosses his arms in front of him, and looks at me as though I’m the pack idiot. I fucking hate that look. It’s especially annoying when he is the one asking stupid questions.
“I want to know what it means when you have a mate. Will you always feel like you are missing out?”
His words hit like a punch to the gut. This. This is what I feared most—that I wouldn’t be believed. That fate would erase who I am in the eyes of others when I ended up with either a male or a female. As if I can’t be queer if I end up with a male.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” I bite out, rubbing my temples at this line of questioning. “I’m not polyamorous, so when I’m with someone, that’s it. It’s like this: you like blondes and brunettes—”
“I only like brunettes.”
“Okaaay, your last few girlfriends have all been blonde, but whatever, that’s not the point.
Let's say you do like both blondes and brunettes. If you are with a brunette, does that mean you are craving what you’re missing out on because you also like blondes?
Or do you focus your energy on who you are with and forget everyone else?
When I take a mate, I won’t feel like I’ll be missing out because I will only want them. Male or female.”
His jaw ticks, and he stands there for a moment as he weighs my words. Probably deciding if they are sufficient or if this is his out. Maybe he can stop pretending to like me now.
“I stopped dating brunettes years ago.”
“Okay? Who you choose to date is not really my concern.”
“Ask me why I stopped dating brunettes, Fia.”
I let out an exasperated breath, so ready for this conversation to be over.
I might not be planning to accept our mate bond, but that doesn’t mean I want to think of him with someone else.
My wolf is pacing, ready to pounce on him.
I’m not sure if she wants to attack him or fuck him, but this conversation certainly isn’t endearing him to either of us.
“I started staying away from brunettes because I wanted one brunette. And I needed to go for females who were the opposite to her so that I could continue telling myself I didn’t want her.”
Hearing him talk about wanting someone else shouldn’t mean anything to me. I don’t want him either. So why does it sting so much? My wolf is thrashing at me, telling me to hunt her down. Annihilate any challengers for her mate.
“So I went for blondes, humans, omegas, generally people who were nothing like you. Because you were too young. I felt like such a fucking sleaze,” he says as he begins to pace backwards and forwards across the room.
He runs a hand through his hair, dislodging strands that fall across his forehead.
His jaw clenches, and the muscles in his neck strain as he paces, his breaths becoming shallow and quick.
“You were barely eighteen, and I was twenty-fucking-seven. It was messed up. Wrong. And I tried to distance myself. And you kept doing the same shit you always did. But you didn’t stay Ryan’s cute little sister.
You became this,” his gaze devours me, “this warrior goddess. My cock was rock hard every time I saw you. You used to sit on my lap, and I used to give you hugs, and I couldn’t do any of that anymore.
Not without you realizing what it was doing to me. ”
My mind melts into a puddle of confusion. Is he actually saying that he liked me back then? Luca continues to pace back and forth. His eyes glow icy blue, almost silver, letting me know his wolf is close to the surface.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you’re wrong when you think I didn’t like you.
That I don’t like you now. I’ve been fucking obsessed with you for years.
You are all I want. All I have wanted. And it felt wrong before with the age difference, but it doesn’t feel wrong anymore.
It feels so fucking right.” His voice is a low, gravelly rumble, the words tumbling out of him in a rush, like he can’t keep them contained for a moment longer.
“Don’t you see? I had to push you away. It was the only way I could keep you safe and not corrupt your goodness with my fucked-up desires. The only way I could control my wolf’s need for you. My need for you.”
He strides over to where I’m sitting on a desk, his steps purposeful as his gaze eats me up.
He wrenches my legs apart and steps between them.
I’m lost in the moment when he pulls me to the edge of the desk and grinds his hard cock against my core.
He runs a hand up my chest, grazing my breast briefly before wrapping his hand around my throat.
Before I can process what’s happening, his mouth crashes onto mine, desperate, claiming.
Sparks roar through me, every nerve alight.
I don’t kiss him back. I’m too stunned by what he is doing.
His tongue runs along the seam of my lips, and when I don’t open to allow him entry, he tugs my hair back.
My breath hitches, and it’s all the opportunity he needs.
His tongue claims my mouth with a demanding, all-consuming hunger.
His taste is delicious, sweet. Mine. Electricity surges all over my body, and I’m on the edge of an orgasm from the friction of his hard length grinding against me. But I can’t do this. He doesn’t get to say some hot words and erase how he has treated me.
My hands are on his chest, and I push him back. He withdraws, taking his heat with him. We’re both panting, and the room is filled with so much sexual tension that I could choke on it.
“We’re not doing this.” I run my hands over my face before looking at him. “You were awful to me. You made me think you hated me, and I had no idea what I had done wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Princess.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Does ‘mate’ work better?” he asks with a smirk.
I shoot him a filthy glare, but I know if looks could kill, he would already be long gone. How does he think we can go from him barely acknowledging me to being mates? I roll my eyes at how fucking cocky he is.
“Roll those eyes again, I fucking dare you,” he growls at me, and I have to fight myself not to. Fuck, why do I want to push him so much?
“Stop being all growly at me, Luca Taylor. You made your bed by being a dick to me for three fucking years! You say I was all you wanted, but it didn’t stop you fucking a steady stream of different females.
Just because you want me now, it changes nothing.
I don’t want someone who will treat me like shit rather than confront his own feelings. ”
“You’re my mate, Sofia. I’m confronting my feelings right here and now. We’re meant to be.”
“I don’t give a fuck! And you know what? Consent fucking matters, Beta. You don’t get to kiss me or touch me without my permission. You don’t fucking own me because I’m your mate. I won’t be for long. So how about you go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone?”
I’m so done with this conversation. A wave of frustration washes over me, tightening my chest and constricting my throat. The urge to end our interaction becomes almost overwhelming. I don’t need to hear pretty lies about him wanting me. It’s too late. I don’t believe anything he has to say.
I wrench the door open and storm into the hallway, Luca trailing close behind me. I ignore his haunting presence the entire walk back home. Walking in, I slam the door behind me, but Luca is already pushing in after me.
“We’re not fucking done, Pri—” he snarls, cutting himself off, and I spin around, ready to punch him in the face if he calls me that one more time.
“What the fuck is going on?” Ryan growls as he joins us in the living room. His eyes scan over us, taking in the anger we are both radiating.
“I’m done. Ryan, I tried, but he can’t even acknowledge what he’s done wrong. I’m sorry. I know something is going on with you. I’m aware the timing is shit, but I deserve better than this.”
“You have to accept the bond,” Ryan pleads.
But one glance at my angry posture and shaking head must make him realize there is all of zero chance that will happen.
He growls, low and throaty, as his eyes turn from their usual brown to the golden hue of his wolf’s irises.
“I wanted to let you get there in your own time, but it can’t wait much longer. I can’t wait much longer.”
What is he talking about? Why not? I turned twenty-one only a few days ago. There is absolutely no reason to rush into completing a bond at this age, even if my fated mate wasn’t a giant asshole. Which he is.
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end as I take in Ryan’s appearance. His wolf’s golden eyes dart around the room, his canines have descended, and his arms are thick with hair. He mutters under his breath, and he clenches and unclenches his fists repeatedly.
“Ryan? What’s wrong with you?”
“Accept the bond, Fia,” he says, applying his Alpha command. I stagger back, covering my mouth as my vision clouds with angry tears. How could he?
“With all due respect, Alpha, what the actual fuck?” Luca snarls. Coming to stand in front of me, as if he could block out an alpha command. “Take it back. You can’t alpha command her to accept me.”
Oh, great, now he cares about what I want. Just in time for Ryan to lose his damn mind.
“Accept him now,” Ryan says, applying every ounce of his alpha command, and I thank the Goddess for making me immune to alpha commands. A secret I’ve never shared with anyone.
Luca lets out a growl that’s part roar and lunges for him, his fist connecting with Ryan’s jaw with a sickening crack.
“Take it back,” he grits out, grappling for control until Ryan throws him across the room.
Luca doesn’t stay down for long, immediately scrambling to put himself between me and Ryan again.
Bile rises up my throat, and I can’t breathe.
Who is this? My big brother would never abuse his power this way.
But he hasn’t been acting like my brother for a while now.
All the events where he has behaved in ways I couldn’t understand flash before my eyes.
Not helping Emily, being gone from the pack more often than he was here, pushing me towards Luca, and ignoring my wants.
He’s not in his right mind. Fuck! I shoot off a frantic mindlink to Doc to come quickly as weight crushes down on my shoulders.
How long has Ryan been suffering on his own?
A quick glance at the shock painting Luca’s face tells me he was kept as much in the dark as I was. My brother is slipping. Losing control.
Moon madness.
And he’s been hiding it from us all along.