Chapter 29 Disaster of an Interview #2
Jessica stares at the ground. “I changed my mind. It scared me, knowing I could accidentally kill someone in training. So, I stopped asking.” She closes her eyes.
Elias clears his throat. “You killed him in self-defense. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here right now.” He glances in my direction. “Shadow would be dead right now.”
She shakes her head. “It was an accident. I couldn’t control my magic.
.. But there was still some part of me that wanted to be in the program because I don’t want to go through that again.
I can’t sleep because of the nightmares, and now, I have new ones.
In every dream, I’m stuck. I can’t fight, and my magic is gone.
I scream for help, but no sound exits my mouth.
I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t want anyone to either. ”
She swipes at the tears. Chris runs a hand over his face, blinking in shock.
“For months, I felt lost, sitting back in that clinic bed, blind and mute. I felt like I was treading water, barely keeping my head up. Everyone else around me has a direction, a purpose, a role, something they can contribute to society, except me.”
She glances up at Anders.
“You say I don’t have fight? You say I’m weak?
I sat in that clinic bed for weeks in pain, blind, no voice, imagining my life as an invalid, knowing someone did that to me but not knowing why.
You think I want to be a burden on others?
I pushed through the pain so I wouldn’t have to rely on anyone.
I fought every day to accept my physical deformities, my limitations.
I never complained. I never cried about it.
I work at the dairy, even though by the end of the day, my body feels like it will fall apart.
Even though I don’t deserve it, I train with Emily and Sixes so that, if by some slim chance, I can get into the program, I can hold my own. ”
“Then what the hell is your problem? Why are you sabotaging your interview?!” Anders yells.
“Because I don’t have it in me to fight anymore!” she screams back. “I came here full of hope, that finally my life will have meaning, purpose. Then, five minutes before I walk in here, Dr. York was thinking how my hormone levels are at ten percent. Do you have any idea what that means!”
We all just look at her, shocked into silence. The anguish on her face says it all. I close my eyes and silently pray that she somehow misunderstood. That he made some kind of mistake.
“It means that, with or without those injections, I will never transition. I will never be a shifter! All because of the things done to me in my past! A past I can’t even remember.”
I have heard of shifters not transitioning.
For a male, it might not mean much, except they can’t transition into their animal.
The way the world has changed with more office jobs, city life, most prefer not to shift at all.
They can still lead a somewhat normal life.
For a female, it’s much more devastating than not being able to just shift into their animal.
It means infertility. I understand now why she didn’t want to say anything earlier—because I’m here.
“So, what?” Anders asks. “You’re going to sit there and cry about it, sabotage this interview—sabotage the rest of your life—because fate just handed you a plate of crap?”
I clench my jaw. Anders needs to quit pushing. He got what he wanted. He got his answers. “Anders, enough!” I shout. He holds his hand up to silence me.
Jessica raises her chin. Her eyes dilate and turn red. “Not being able to shift changes everything for me! It affects my entire life! I can’t be a guard. It ruins my chances with a potential mate. And you! You won’t let me leave the damn territory, so how the hell am I going to have a life?”
“Then stop sitting here like a little brat and do something about it.”
Wind blows around her, lifting her hair every which way. She stands and lifts her hands. The table we are sitting at separates, flips over, and crashes on either side of the room.
Chris grabs my arm. “Stand back.” I want to run to her, to stop her, but Chris pulls me to the back of the dining room.
Elias joins us. “I hope he knows what he’s fucking doing,” he mutters, watching the storm unfold.
“Stop calling me a brat!”
“Why? That’s exactly what you are, a little brat about to throw a tantrum because she can’t have her way! A brat who uses others to clean up her messes.”
The wind blows stronger, pushing the tables into the walls, dinnerware crashing to the floor. “I never asked anyone to fight my battles for me!”
“Then stop acting like a victim and fight, dammit! You said I’m the one standing in your way? So, fight me. Show me that you’re capable of living a life outside of this territory.”
Wind swirls around her, like a small tornado, lifting her slightly off the ground. Plates, napkins, vases, forks, and spoons dart around the room. The force of the wind is so strong, it’s hard to move.
“Fuck! He’s taking this too far!” Elias shouts.
Jessica screams, and her hand reaches up. The lights over our heads burst and flicker out. She throws a lightning bolt at Anders, who lunges just out of reach, flinging a shard of ice toward her.
“No!” I yell, but the wind swallows my cry.
She slices through the shard with a streak of lightning. Anders dives for her, but she floats out of his reach. When her feet touch the ground, she pummels an elbow into his chest. Ice and lightning bolts collide, pelting us with debris.
The three of us huddle in the corner. “This is fucking bullshit! Shadow, get her out of here. We’ll take care of Anders,” Chris shouts over to the wind.
I watch them, kicking, punching, blocking, throwing magic at each other.
Under different circumstances, I would be proud as shit of my little Princess.
But this fight with Anders isn’t training.
Anders pushed her, egging her on, to fight for herself, to prove that she’s not worthless, no matter what life hands her.
I’m not sure she's ready for that kind of push. She’s hurt and angry.
She’s fighting against something she has no control over.
I find an opportunity to transport in when she pushes Anders back with a gust of wind. I step in just as she throws a bolt of lightning, straight at me.
Anders crashes into me before it strikes, and we both crash to the floor together. All I hear is her scream. The wind dies. Everything slams to the floor. She crumples to her knees, sobbing into her hands.
Anders crawls to her, pulling her into an embrace. “He’s fine. I’m fine.”
Her sobs grow louder. Chris and Elias rush over to us; Elias helps me stand.
“I’m okay,” I confirm.
Chris stands over Anders, reassuring him he’s uninjured. I kneel beside Jessica, resting my hand on her head. Chris rubs her back. We all surround her in silence, listening to her heart-wrenching sobs.
My heart breaks for her and a little for me, for a future family we never discussed wanting.
The deep, dark part of me pushes from within my core.
It wants out. It wants to find those assholes and rip them apart limb from limb.
Even though they are no longer in her life, everything they did continues to haunt her like ghosts. I will not let them get away with this.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she cries into Anders chest, pulling me from the dark thoughts of revenge.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Anders kisses the top of her head. “It’s okay to be angry,” he reassures her.
“I told you. I don’t have control over my magic.”
Chris shoots Anders a withering look and stands. He takes in the destroyed dining room—round tables obliterated into pieces, broken dinnerware scattered on the floor—and he shakes his head. “I’ll call Tater and see if she can send a crew over to clean this up.”
Anders nods. “Tell her I owe her.”
“You owe her big time and probably a good ass chewing.”
Elias glares at Anders. “She’s not one of your guards you can push!” Anders doesn’t answer him; he knows he took it too far.
Jessica pushes away and turns to Elias. “Are you okay?” She hugs him before he can answer.
“I’m fine, little one. I just had my ass plastered to a wall for a bit.”
“I’m sorry.”
He pats her shoulder. “That was devastating news. You have every right to be upset. It’s how you got to this point is what upsets me.” Elias levels Anders with a scathing look.
“She needed it, Elias. She’s been holding back her anger for a long time,” Anders claims.
“We’ll talk about this later,” Elias replies, turning back to Jessica. “I’ll make sure Emily finds you later.”
She nods. “Thank you.”
She won’t even look at me. Please, look at me, Princess. I need her to know that we’re okay. This doesn’t change anything for me.