Chapter 30 So Much for Happy Endings
So Much for Happy Endings
JESSICA
Seven Years Ago
Embarrassment sweeps over me at the way I handled my interview, how I reacted to Anders.
And I did it all in front of Shadow. I can’t even look at him.
I feel the heavy weight of his stare on my skin.
It burns so deep; it hurts my heart. For three days, he built my confidence back up, helped me to see past all the guilt, the self-wallowing.
Then, some bad news spurned all of his efforts away.
I’m disappointed in myself, my body. I’m angry at the turn of events when everything was just starting to look so clear. I press my fingertips to my forehead.
Dr. York frantically shuffles through my medical file and then turns back to a laptop resting on the conference room table.
My parents, Anders, and Shadow practically glare at him, waiting for answers.
He joined us at the mansion. Poor guy didn’t have much of a choice.
Anders nearly bit his head off, demanding he come with us right this minute, like he had nothing else to do.
Chris and Elias stayed behind to clean up the mess I made. I hadn’t spoken one word to Anders or Shadow as we made our way home. Why is Shadow still here? He should have left after the shitshow I created.
This changes everything between us. I already know what he’ll say, but one day, he might change his mind. I’m not too naive to realize that. We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks. I don’t think I could handle it, if he changed his mind weeks, months, or even years from now.
Anders slams his palm down on the table. “Dr. York! Explain to me how this happened. At her last checkup, you told me everything looked good.”
Dr. York flinches at Anders’s demand. He clears his throat.
I drop my hands from my face and gently place them on the conference room table. I stare at the wood grain, too afraid to look up at him, too afraid to witness the concern etched on his face.
I swallow the salty tears in the back of my throat. I want him to tell me that this is a mistake, some lab error.
“She was under your care! How does something like this happen?” Anders roars, slamming his hand down on the table again. I jump at his reaction.
“You checked her progress quarterly. How does this just happen without warning?” my father asks.
Dr. York clears his throat. “I’m equally shocked to see the drastic change in her lab results.
Looking back at her notes, when she was first discharged from the clinic, her labs looked really good, almost normal even.
Even the specialist on board didn’t feel she needed any supplements or hormone injections moving forward because he was confident her body would start to produce hormones naturally on its own. ”
“Dr. York, she was discharged with the supplements and hormone injections prescribed. They arrive in the mail every couple of weeks, and Mimi brings them to us,” my mother interjects.
“Yes. I’m aware of that now.” He rifles through the file again, frowning down at his messy writing before turning back to the laptop.
“I wrote it down that I discontinued the prescription for hormones and supplements, and the mail order for the prescription appears to be discontinued. I have to check with Mimi on why it’s still coming in.
” He closes the laptop and file. “I checked her blood levels once more after her discharge. When she returned to the clinic after she went missing for five days, with the sudden change in her appearance, growth, and maturity, I ordered her another set of labs, just out of mere curiosity. Her hormone levels were finally at an optimum level, a normal level for a shifter either just before or during the transitionary period. I wrote down in my notes that I would check again at her next follow-up. That was this past week.”
“This doesn’t make sense,” my mother says, leaning toward Dr. York to gain his full attention. “I’m not a medical expert, Dr. York, but how could her levels now be so low? Shouldn’t they be higher? In fact, should they be too high, if they were normal without the injections?”
Dr. York leans back and runs a hand over his sweaty face. “I don’t understand it myself. But if we don’t figure out what is causing the decrease in hormone production…” He trails off.
“Just say it, Dr. York. It’s better if we hear it now,” my father says softly.
His eyes cloud over with sadness as he looks at me.
“With the sudden decrease in hormone production, I’m afraid that this means your body has stopped producing hormones naturally.
If you were to completely stop the injections, I’m afraid that the current levels will only drop further.
The potential ability to shift and one day produce children could be permanently lost.”
A small sob escapes me, and I clap a hand over my mouth.
I haven’t told them that I haven’t been taking the supplements or the injections for the past two weeks.
He just confirmed what I had already known.
I don’t want to make another scene, but I can’t help it.
I’m utterly devastated, as if someone took a hot searing knife and stabbed me in the chest over and over.
My mother wraps her arms around me, cradling my head against her shoulder.
Silence fills the room.
Dr. York continues, “We could consult with the specialist that I was working with. We could see what his thoughts are in this situation and what steps we can take next.”
My mother strokes my hair. “We’re not giving up. If that doctor can’t help us, I will find you the best doctors to rectify this. I promise you.”
“Shakti, she doesn’t need false hope right now,” Anders says grimly from his seat.
“Anders, so help me, after the shit you pulled this morning, you’re lucky your head is still connected to your body.”
I lift my head slightly to see my mother’s face. My father grins before covering his mouth to hide it. Shadow places a fist in front of his mouth to hide his own smirk.
“Shakti, she’s angry. She’s hurt. She’s been holding—”
“Anders, I love you like a brother, but if you think fighting with a bull in a pen is life-threatening, you never crossed a pissed-off mama.”
I pull away from my mother’s embrace and straighten on my seat.
“Please don’t fight.” I look down at my hands on my lap.
“I don’t know if I want to see a specialist. I really don’t want to do any more testing or take any more injections.
I just want to be sad about it for a little while.
It changes plans I looked forward to, like being in the recruit program.
I know shifting is one of the requirements.
This news just came at a really bad time.
” My voice cracks, heavy with underlying emotions about things I can’t say in front of my parents and Anders.
“Jessica, I only wanted to—”
I cut Anders off with a shake of my head. “Anders, I know you want me to fight. But just because I don’t fight the same as you doesn’t mean I’m not fighting. Right now, I don’t have the energy or tools to know how to fight this.”
Tears streak down my cheeks, and I swipe at them with the back of my hand.
“I think I need some time alone,” I announce to the room before I stand up and run out before anyone can stop me.