Chapter 19 - Lily
Lily
Almost there.
We rounded the lake’s edges, where the water hovered at the embankment.
My stomach clenched as the town appeared in the shallow valley below. The twilight sky offered faint shadows of its small downtown and nearby houses. Lights shone, twinkling and sparkling, all visible in the distance.
“It survived.” I almost didn’t believe it.
Dean stayed quiet.
We made it. I wanted to see Ryan and my dad before crawling into my bed for a week. Most people woke from their nightmares, while I had to live it. “Let’s go home.”
Dean turned left, towards my childhood home and our new refuge. We rolled onto the driveway, where I expected to find my father waiting for me by the front door. Instead, an empty carport and a dark house greeted us.
“I’ll go first,” Dean said as he parked the truck.
Dean’s chivalry didn’t bother me as it once had; it was merely another part of his security routine. This time, my fingers flexed, and my body squirmed.
It didn’t take him long. Dean opened the door, and my legs wobbled before I ran past him through the open front door.
“Dad!” I waited for a response. “Dad!”
“He isn’t here,” Dean said.
“Maybe he’s sleeping.” The night sky, combined with the rain’s steady patter, could lull anyone to sleep. “It’s possible.”
I checked the dining room and the living room, to no avail. Dean followed me into the kitchen and turned on his flashlight.
A stale piece of bread rested on a small plate. A half-full glass of water sat next to it.
Dean opened the pantry. “There’s plenty of food. A lot for one man alone.”
“He didn’t leave a note.” There was no sign of Ryan’s arrival either.
Dean chucked the bread in the trash and emptied the glass of water. He turned the spigot, and a cool stream poured out. Dean filled the glass, took a sip, and handed it over. “There’s water in the pipes and tank.”
“What does that mean?”
“No one’s been here to drain them,” he said.
I ran up the front stairs rather than respond.
Dean followed and said, “Wait. You won’t see anything up there.”
My bedroom hadn’t changed. I didn’t find a letter on my dresser or old desk.
“Here, take this. So you can see.” Dean handed me the flashlight before turning around. He put his hands on his hips and sighed.
I checked Ryan’s bedroom before moving on to my father’s. Nothing.
“He isn’t here either,” Dean said.
“Maybe it takes a while. How far away was he?”
“I don’t know.” He sat on the corner of the bed, planting both hands on his thighs. “If anyone can survive, it’s your brother. We’ll see him again.”
I sat beside him. “What do you think happened to Violet?” She never responded to my texts. Without power or internet, I’d never learn what happened to her. “My roommate went with her boyfriend to see the light show,” I added in case he’d forgotten about her again.
“I don’t know. Horrible things happened to people who didn’t deserve it. What do you want me to say?”
I wanted empty promises; that’s what I wanted. “Tell me we’ll find everyone tomorrow.”
“We’ll find everyone tomorrow.” He sighed again. “Keep the flashlight. I’m going to look around outside.” Dean kissed my forehead and left the room.
Did Dean leave me alone to grieve, or did his absence signal indifference? He didn’t say the actual words, but he implied them.
I pecked at his secrets on our journey home, but more still lay buried. Did any involve my father? Over a week since the impact, and the new world still tripped me up.
I twisted the ring on my finger. Should I return it or keep it? I had tried to understand him yesterday to better understand myself. That effort failed. Dean took my questions as an attack when they’d been a plea for explanations. What world did we enter here in Deer Lake?
How did we fit?
I hugged myself and shivered. My dresser and closet held warmer clothes, enough to protect me from the cooler weather, while Dean had nothing.
I gave up my fruitless search and followed him outside. “There you are.”
Dean squatted on the ground, staring toward the dark horizon. He’d removed his shirt at some point, so the rain fell down his naked shoulders and back.
I wiped it off, and his hand gripped mine.
What caught his attention?
I followed his gaze. We’d returned in the opposite direction from his old home. It wasn’t far. A quick childhood walk, easily glimpsed through the tree line. Come morning’s gloomy sun, we’d see it in all its worn-out and miserable glory.
“I’m sorry that no one is here. I know finding them is important to you,” Dean said, standing. He put an arm across my shoulders, pulling me against him. “Right now, it’s dark, and we don’t know what’s in front of us. We don’t know what happened or who survived. Can you be patient a little longer?”
“I can wait, though I’m not sure if patient is the right word to describe me.”
He chuckled despite his somber attitude. “We’ll sleep here tonight and plan tomorrow. I didn’t bring you back to your family, but you’ll have your bed in your own room. You’re almost there.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
My shoulders fell. He’d kept his promise, returning me to Deer Lake. I liked to believe we had fixed some of the broken bonds between us. He held up his half of the partnership, though not without visible struggle. He also apologized for the note on my pillow, but not for the note itself.
Where did that leave me?
“Do you want this back?” I removed the ring and set it in his palm.
His voice roughened. “Keep it. I’m not done with you.
” Dean held the small object between two fingers before placing it back on my finger, where it’d been since he found it in that jewelry store.
How did he find a ring that fit as if it belonged?
“Home doesn’t equal safe. Believe me, I’d know.
Let’s figure the rest out so I can fulfill that promise, and we can move on. ”
Move on?
I couldn’t dispute his wisdom, but I didn’t have to like it. Alone, I’d speed into town, shouting for my father. “What about tonight?”
“You should go inside and remove your wet clothes. You’ll catch a chill out here.”
“What about you?” I rubbed the goosebumps on his arm.
“What about me? It’s cold. I’ve been cold before.” He placed a hand over mine and squeezed. “I’ll be out here.”
“Don’t stay too long.”
“Hey, wait.” Dean grabbed my hand as I turned to leave. “We’ll figure it out, and if we don’t, you still have me. You aren’t alone, Lily, even though this isn’t the homecoming you expected.”