23
The world made my heart weary. But faith was the only thing keeping my feet steady.
Takeshi kept a tight grip on her hand as they sped-walked toward the edge of town. They passed tent after colorful tent, and when Khalani glanced over her shoulder, her vision lingered on the ancient casino.
But Takeshi jerked her attention forward. “Keep walking.”
He pulled her even faster through the encampment, practically forcing her to run to keep up with his long strides. A muscle feathered along his jaw when he noticed her questioning gaze.
“I’m one breath from turning around, and murdering every person who was in that tent before I move on to the rest of the town,” he explained in a rough voice.
Khalani didn’t argue.
The broken parts of her wanted to see the Sinners burn. But they had no time to sate their burning need for revenge. They had to warn the Chief before it was too late.
Khalani quickened her pace as they neared the outer barrier. Spears jutted from the metal fence, the sharp tips reaching toward the sky. All the color drained from her face when she realized what was stuck to the spears.
Heads.
Multiple heads with mouths wide open—agony frozen in time.
Who were they?
Travelers like them?
Residents of Desert Spring?
When they finally reached the fence, one of the men Ansel had sent directed the two guards to open the barrier.
“Here.” The small guard tossed the packs at their feet, immediately backing away. “You’d better get going. Don’t forget what Ansel said.”
Khalani and Takeshi didn’t need to hear another word. They grabbed their stuff and charged into the desert sun.
And if they’d paused to listen, they might’ve heard distant cries pouring from the bloody fence, like ghosts warning them to never return.
* * *
Their feet pounded against the sand. Sweat cloaked her entire body as Khalani fought to distance herself from the nightmarish town.
A vast desert composed of peaks and valleys surrounded them. Unlike the trek from Apollo, no roads were present to make the trip easier.
The Sinners’ town truly lay in the middle of nowhere.
Takeshi let her set the pace, his darkened face set with concentration as they made the journey west. He used an extra shirt in his bag to wrap the wound on her arm before ripping off another piece of black fabric to do the same on his cut before beckoning her forward.
When the wind picked up, flinging sand into their faces, she reached into her bag and sighed in relief. The Sinners had taken their weapons, but they left her scarf and notebook.
She quickly wrapped the soft fabric around her head, covering her mouth to protect from the elements as Takeshi did the same with a black scarf. She couldn’t help but stare when he covered the lower half of his face and slowly lifted his head.
Somehow, the subtle mystery and dark mask made him even more magnetic. He stood tall and continued to march onward like he belonged in the desert.
Khalani, on the other hand, hunched over and labored like the wasteland was trying to spit her out.
On and on they walked, their boots etching prints of memory in the sand. She clutched the fabric to her neck, keeping her head down as she trudged forward.
Takeshi kept close. Not complaining. Not faltering.
They had limited water and no food.
He’d probably be able to make it to Desert Spring before nightfall if she wasn’t slowing him down.
But he stubbornly stayed by her side, unknowingly keeping her anxiety at bay just by existing.
When he held out his palm to halt her path, she glanced up, frowning. But he wasn’t staring at her. He was watching their left flank. When she followed his sharp gaze, her eyes popped open.
The coarse sand no longer resided on the ground. In the not-too-far distance, sand swirled up in the sky in a vertical column. It twirled and twirled in a chaotic rhythm, slowly churning across the desert like a lone, wandering monster.
“What is that?” she asked.
“I have no idea.”
“Do you think it’s headed this way?”
Without thinking, Khalani clutched his arm. Takeshi’s brows pulled low as he glanced pointedly at her hand. She immediately released her grip, cheeks blushing under the scarf.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” His voice deepened, staring at her in a way that made her feel too exposed. Too close to the edge of ruin.
She swallowed, and Takeshi tracked the bob of her throat before taking a deliberate step back, like he was pulling himself out of a trance.
He turned back to the swirling storm like nothing had happened. “It doesn’t seem to be changing direction. We have to press on.”
Khalani could only nod, the small space separating them feeling infinite.
Maybe that was what fate intended.
Any closer, and the heat between them would tatter and burn the vestiges of who she used to be.
The thought was as violent and unstable as the swirling column of sand that surveyed them like a warden guarding the Death-Zone.
But she had no interest in staying the same.
She used to be the girl who struggled to find meaning in life, harboring resentment toward the people who brought her into this cruel world.
For the longest time, Khalani teetered on the edge of disbelief and held a fiery anger toward God for letting the world destroy itself. For allowing evil to win and placing the heaviest burden of grief upon her shoulders.
But something spurred her to keep fighting. She thought the obstacles were meant to kill her, but maybe they had a different purpose.
During her workouts with Takeshi, he’d never let her stop at what was easy. He added reps, increased the weight, upped the difficulty. Because he knew better than anyone that growth is born from discomfort.
And despite the pain, they continued walking across the decimated surface. Still persisting.
“What are you thinking about?” Takeshi suddenly asked, catching the wistful expression on her face as she stared up at the endless blue sky.
“I’m just grateful.”
“For what?”
“Being alive. There was a time when I didn’t want to be.” She thought back to when she was imprisoned in Braderhelm. When she didn’t care about dying. “I guess I’m glad I didn’t get everything I wanted.”
Takeshi didn’t speak as he pondered her words, like an entire sea of questions lived in his eyes.
Things he wanted to say. Others he didn’t want to acknowledge.
Khalani let him have his silence.
They continued marching and stopped for a short water break. After a few gulps, she went to stand, but Takeshi grabbed her bag strap and pulled her back down.
“You need more rest, Kanes.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted, ignoring the aches and pains in her body, but Takeshi wouldn’t take no for an answer. He firmly tugged her strap, and she quickly realized he wasn’t letting her go anywhere.
She tapped her fingers incessantly against the sand, feeling antsy, wanting to get back on the road, but Takeshi leisurely drank, content to sit for a while.
She reached into her bag, pulling out her notebook and pen, flipping through old passages until an empty page revealed itself.
Khalani hesitated with Takeshi’s dangerous presence only a foot away. She’d always written in solitude. But the words soared and banged along the walls of her mind, waiting for her to release them.
I searched for you everywhere
In the darkest places that called to me
In pretty words sailing across the page
In the sky when I first gazed upon it
You must’ve seen the pain in my smile
Heard the screams I never dared shout
Watched me cry when no one was around.
I searched for you everywhere
When the well within me dried up
And my fingers gripped the walls
Looking for some type of reason
For why I was the testament of misery
To what ends faith shall remain
When I’m filled with nothing but doubt.
But there came a day when I turned around
and witnessed the battles in my wake
I thought I’d died a million deaths
But the truth was far more divine
I’d learned to live a million ways
Danced in a garden of hate
Cried when all I felt was love
Surrendered with my hands held high
That’s when I finally realized
The person I was searching for
Was in me the entire time.
“What are you writing?”
Khalani practically jumped, feeling Takeshi’s piercing gaze upon her. She immediately clutched the notebook to her chest. “Nothing.”
“Nothing,” he repeated.
“That’s right.”
“Sometimes, I like to look at nothing.”
He lounged back against the sand, deceptively calm.
She wasn’t fooled.
A quiet fire raged inside him. Khalani didn’t want that intimidating light shining on her notebook. For him to realize how pathetic she was.
He must have sensed her rising panic because he leaned in, close enough to kiss her, making her pulse beat so loud, she was certain he heard it.
“Kanes, will you please show me?”
“You said ‘please,’” she uttered in shock.
“I did.”
“You never say that.”
The corner of his lip lifted. “You’ve sparked my curiosity. Don’t squander it.”
“Why do you want to read it?”
“Must I have a reason?”
“Yes.” Her gaze narrowed.
Takeshi paused, glancing away. “For a moment, you looked down at that notebook and smiled. I would like to know why…to learn my adversary better,” he added, like an afterthought.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly.
Poetry was strips of her soul laid bare. She’d never been that vulnerable with anyone. Not even when Takeshi had his memory.
But the intrigue in his eyes told her he wasn’t looking to judge or make fun. He genuinely wanted to learn every part of her. And maybe…just maybe…it could bridge the gap between them.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she tentatively held out her notebook. He raised his eyebrows, not expecting her to give in.
“You sure?”
“Just take it before I change my mind. And only read that page. Maybe another time…I’ll show you the rest.”
When you remember me.
Takeshi nodded solemnly.
She didn’t watch as his eyes skimmed over the passage.
She concentrated on the ground, letting sand cascade through her fingers. As it was, she was on the verge of losing her resolve and snatching the notebook right out of his hands.
After a few minutes, Khalani dared to look up.
Takeshi’s mouth was slightly parted, still staring down at her writing.
“I’ve never read anything like that,” he whispered.
He hated it.
It was awful.
She should chuck it in the desert and let it be forgotten.
“That was beautiful,” he stated emphatically, looking at her like he never had before.
The most magnificent sunset bathed Takeshi in a backdrop of oranges, reds, and yellows. And for a moment, she stared into heaven’s eyes.
“You really think so?” Her voice lifted, afraid she’d heard wrong.
“Yes. Where did you learn to write like that?”
Khalani exhaled, the beloved name close to her heart. “His name was Douglas.”
As they continued on their journey to Desert Spring, the sun slowly lowering beyond their reach, she told him the story of Douglas and the poetry book he’d given her. She explained how Winnie brought her back from depression and encouraged her to write more.
To leave something in the world worth remembering.
While she spoke, Takeshi didn’t make her feel like he was waiting to ask a question. He truly listened to every word, even if it challenged his preconceived notions.
They talked about poetry, what they might have done before the Great Collapse, all the way until the sun had long since disappeared. For the first time, it felt like they released their animosity toward each other. They laid down their weapons…for just one day.
And when the intimidating walls of Desert Spring rose in the distance, her steps faltered.
“You all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I just…I just feel like everything’s going to change when we walk through those gates.”
Takeshi nodded, like the exact same thing whispered in his mind. But he lifted his head, ready to face any obstacle.
To conquer even the world if it stood in his way.
“We’ll stop when we’re finished.”
Yes.
They would only stop when they were finished.