24
Shout the truths that beg to whisper.
The moon rose above their heads as Khalani and Takeshi approached the front gate. She wildly flailed her hands, desperately trying to signal the men and women on the wall to not shoot.
Distant shouting reached her ears. She shot a nervous glance at Takeshi, who shifted even closer, gearing up for a fight. But a few beats later, a loud groaning erupted, and the gate swung open.
Winnie was the first face she saw.
“Khalani!” Winnie cried out, running as fast as her tired legs could muster. She met her halfway, and they collided in a whirl of tangled arms.
“They said you were dead,” Winnie whispered, her voice cracking, “But Winnie refused to believe it.”
“It would take a lot more to kill me,” she breathed, squeezing her tighter, the empty fragments of her heart becoming whole again.
Derek wrapped his arms around Khalani next, nearly lifting her off the ground.
“No more raids for you,” he exclaimed, his eyes swollen and tinged with red specks.
Takeshi hovered a few feet back, stiff and rigid as the three of them embraced.
Winnie broke away, her expression softening as she slowly shuffled to him. His throat bobbed at her approach, more uncomfortable than when a gun was pointed at his head.
“Thank you,” Winnie whispered.
“For what?” Takeshi frowned.
A twinkling smile curled on Winnie’s lips as she hugged his large frame. “For keeping her safe. For keeping you safe.”
Takeshi gazed down at Winnie like she might carve out his heart, but he apprehensively patted her back.
The knot in her throat tightened as Khalani silently watched the scene unfold. It may have been the barest of touches, but watching the two of them embrace meant more than all the victories she’d obtained.
“Good to see you back, man. I can put some ointment on those cuts, if you want.” Derek gestured to the few blood-crusted cuts on his face.
“No.”
Derek’s face fell, and Takeshi hesitated.
“What I mean is, I can do it myself. But I wouldn’t mind some ointment…thanks,” he added, swallowing.
A small smile curled her lips.
The Chief arrived with her maroon cloak floating behind her and Patreus flanking her, wearing his fighting gear.
“I won’t lie.” The Chief chuckled. “When the others said the Sinners took you, I thought you were both dead.”
“For a second, we thought the same thing.” Khalani brushed a trembling hand through her hair. She eyed the Chief with suspicion, remembering Ansel’s words. But guilt overcame her.
That man was pure evil and not to be trusted. The heads on the Sinners’ gates said as much.
“What did you see in their camp?” Patreus’s sharp gaze flickered between them. “Did you meet Ansel? What did he say? And why did they let you live?”
“Relax, Patreus.” The Chief raised her hand. “They’ve had a long night and look dead on their feet. Let them rest, and in the morning, we’ll get our answers.”
The lines on Patreus’s face deepened, clearly still wanting to interrogate them, but he scoffed and walked away, grumbling under his breath.
Khalani pushed up on her toes, peering around the Chief, searching for a few familiar faces.
“They’re not here,” the Chief said.
“Where are they?”
“When the two of you didn’t return, your four friends practically stormed our armory for weapons to go chasing after you. Ferren and a couple of my warriors went with them in the hopes of picking up your trail. I expect they’ll be back in a few hours.”
She clenched her jaw to keep from throwing curses at the moon.
What were they thinking, risking themselves like that?
If the Sinners had killed her, the last thing she’d want was the rest of her family to follow in her steps.
Her breathing got worse, and Winnie sidled up to her.
“C’mon, Khalani dear. You look exhausted. Let’s get you into bed.” Winnie gently looped their arms together as she guided her back through Desert Spring.
Every step away from the desert felt wrong. Not while the people she cared about were still out there searching for her. She nearly turned around, but one glance at Takeshi’s brooding gaze told her he’d drag her back screaming if she tried.
When they reached the house, Derek handed them slices of bread and prepared canned beans, knowing they were starving. After Khalani scarfed the food down, she headed straight for the shower. Dirt, sweat, and grime poured down the drain as she waited under the flow of water with her eyes open.
“Go to the library. Look at the pictures.”
Khalani scrubbed her body harder, trying to wash away his words.
This was all part of Ansel’s plan.
To make her betray Desert Spring.
But would it hurt to check the library? To give her peace of mind?
She roughly turned the knob and dried herself off. It was too much. She needed to sleep.
Come morning, she’d figure everything out.
Winnie turned the corner, wearing a bright smile, just as Khalani stepped out in a fresh set of clothes.
“Winnie will sleep somewhere else tonight,” Winnie exclaimed.
Her brows pulled together. “You’re not staying with me?”
“You’ve had such a trying day. You deserve to have the full bed to yourself. Don’t you worry about Winnie. She’ll take the couch.”
“No!” Derek shouted from the other end of the hall. “Winnie, you sleep in the other bedroom. I’ll take the couch.”
Derek refused to let her say no, and Winnie sighed as she strode to his bedroom, muttering about “the bossiness of men.”
Khalani didn’t like sleeping alone, but the bed looked so inviting. She nestled deeper as the sheets enveloped her. Her eyes fluttered closed as she waited to be whisked away into a warm dreamscape.
“Go to the library.”
“Once you find out their truth, you’ll be begging me to kill them.”
She sighed and jammed the pillow over her head, squeezing the fabric tighter and tighter.
Just ignore it.
Go to sleep.
An hour later, Khalani still hadn’t fallen asleep, and she’d long since given up. She stared at the blank ceiling, clutching the blanket to her chest as she kept replaying Ansel’s words. And in the corner of her mind, piercing blue eyes watched, judging the layers of her madness.
A light knock tapped on her door.
“Come in.”
The door creaked open, and much to her shock, Takeshi squeezed through the opening.
She sat up. “Takeshi. What are you doing here?”
“Figured you couldn’t sleep either.”
He wore black sweats and a sleeveless tunic that highlighted every indent of muscle in his arms. He gently shut the door behind him, filling the space, sucking the air around him.
Or maybe it was just her oxygen he captured.
“How did you know?”
“I just felt it.” Takeshi put his back against the wooden door and slid down to the floor. “What’s wrong?”
“Can’t stop thinking.” She fiddled with her fingers. “What’s your excuse?”
“I don’t like to sleep.”
“What? Why?”
“I have these…dreams at night,” he said in a low voice. “They give me headaches. Memories that aren’t mine and don’t make any sense.”
His tone hardened, but he didn’t look like the dangerous man who wanted to kill her. He sat with his elbows resting on his knees, like he just needed someone to talk to.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault.”
He said the words like he truly believed them, and it healed something inside her.
“Do you ever see me in these dreams?”
“I don’t know. Everything’s blurry and I can’t tell what I see anymore.” Takeshi’s knuckles clenched, placing his head back against the wood like he wanted to scream, but he just breathed deeply through his nose, keeping all the pain tucked in.
Khalani pulled her knees closer to her chest, recognizing that he was just as lost as she was.
“I wish I could turn it all off too,” she whispered.
“What?”
“My mind. The world. Just…everything.”
“And what would you do with all that freedom?”
Her eyes lifted to the white ceiling, the answer painting itself on the walls, existing on the edge of her dreams.
“I’d build a garden. Plant every flower imaginable. And make it all my own.”
His smoldering gaze met hers, his thoughts still a complete mystery to her. But his shoulders gradually released their tension.
Like her dream gave him peace too.
“Do you see me in this vision?”
Khalani startled as he threw her earlier question back at her. “Do you want to be there?”
Takeshi shrugged, his expression shrouded in darkness. But she could’ve sworn a coy smile played on his full lips. Takeshi let the silence expand, refusing to answer.
She decided to go along with it.
“You would be in another room. Your painting studio.”
The words came to her without having to think.
The scene in her head transformed into a vision of Takeshi wrapping his arms around her as she worked in her garden, kissing her cheek as he showed her a new painting.
A sanctuary of peace that only ever existed in fiction.
The smile lighting up her face slowly dissipated, reality clawing its way back with a monstrous swipe.
That future, however beautiful, was nowhere in sight.
“Just forget it. You probably think it’s stupid,” she muttered.
“No,” he answered, staring at the ceiling like he was imagining it too. “It sounds…nice.”
It does, doesn’t it?
They sat in comfortable silence, envisioning all the ways their lives might’ve been different if luck was ever on their side.
“Kanes.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for being an asshole to you before. I just want to—” Takeshi’s words got stuck in his throat, and he shook his head. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry.”
“It does mean something to me,” Khalani whispered. Her heart pumped faster, not expecting this type of vulnerability from him. “But I understand. I know it hasn’t been easy for you.”
His brows knitted, like he was far more comfortable with her lashing out than responding with kindness.
“Is it okay if I ask you something?” She took a deep breath, gathering her bravery before the moon fell and swept this moment away.
“What is it, Kanes?”
“Are you starting to remember…even a little bit?”
Takeshi’s heated gaze captured her. But he held himself ever so still. Like he was afraid to move and shatter this fragile peace.