Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Daruka
With Asmoday and Krishna—still in wolf form, since if he shifted back, he’d be naked—at my six, I stalked down to the end of Main Street. And then I waited for the cluster of demons to notice us.
It didn’t take long.
A demon with a red face and black facial hair and horns that curled over his head saw us, nudged the demon next to him, who used her pointy tail to tap another demon on the shoulder.
And on and on until awareness rippled down the street.
My father glanced over his shoulder and slowly lowered his arms.
Asmoday’s bed and breakfast ceased shivering and shaking.
I blew out a breath. Okay, now I just had to convince Dad that I wasn’t going to stay here in Arrythmia, which would ensure he didn’t return someday and flatten the place. And all the monsters who had taken refuge here.
And apparently, I was doing this with Asmoday by my side.
Was it wrong that I liked the idea? It would be nice to have a partner, someone to bounce ideas off. Someone to help me stay a couple of steps ahead of the devil at all times.
Someone to keep me warm at night.
Someone to do other things with me at night. Or the middle of the day. Or anytime, really.
“Hi, Dad.” I waved. “Over here.”
He shoved the nearest demon out of the way. The guy fell into a cluster of demons, and they all went down like bowling pins.
The rest of them scurried to part like the Red Sea.
He strode through the gap; his unwavering gaze latched onto me like he was trying to hold me in place.
If I were anyone else, it would have worked.
Luckily—in this context, anyway—I was his daughter, so therefore immune to his powers of persuasion.
A fact that really, really irritated him on the regular.
“Daruka, how lovely to see you again,” he said pleasantly enough, as if he hadn’t just threatened to destroy Asmoday’s livelihood if I didn’t comply with his wishes. As if he hadn’t been unsuccessfully chasing me down for eight freaking years now. “How’s your mother?”
“Dead.” I managed not to wince as I said it. Points to me.
His face fell. “Oh, how terrible. She was such a delightful woman. In mermaid and human form. Especially in her human form. Those legs. So long. The way they wrapped around my waist…” He closed his eyes and lifted his face, reliving a particularly fond memory.
Not a memory I wanted him to expound on. “Can we focus on the here and now?” I suggested.
His eyes popped open, and the moment was gone. He nodded at Asmoday. “You’re keeping company with a fellow demon. How absolutely fascinating.”
“It isn’t what you think,” I said.
“You aren’t having sex with him? He’s a lust demon. What else would you do with him?”
I wrinkled my nose while my face heated. “Okay, it is what you think. But it’s more than that. He’s…” What was he to me?
Was this something I was ready to admit to myself, let alone the devil? “Um, I think we might be, maybe, sort of dating.”
“No maybe or sort of about it, sir,” Asmoday clarified. “I hope that meets with your approval. Sir.”
Asmoday was acting like we were teenagers and he was nervous to ask my dad if he could take me out on a date. Yeesh.
“Um, news flash. I don’t really care if he approves.”
“That’s my girl.” Satan sounded delighted.
I sighed dramatically. “Look, Dad, do you think we can come to some sort of agreement? A compromise?”
He sniffed. “The devil does not compromise.”
Of course he didn’t.
“But an agreement, well… What do you have in mind?”
Oh shit, I hadn’t actually had anything in mind. I’d simply blurted that out in what I assumed was a pointless attempt to reason with the guy.
His gaze roved over the residents still standing on the sidewalk rather than rushing away and taking cover. What were these people thinking? I mean, this was the freaking devil, after all.
“Does it have anything to do with this quaint little town?” he asked, a slyness to his voice.
Quickly, I shook my head. “No, not at all, I swear!”
Idiots. They really should be running.
Think, Daruka, think. Think, think, think! I needed to distract him so he didn’t cause any more harm to this place and its inhabitants.
He tossed a spell over his shoulder. The nearest demons twisted their heads back and forth, some scratching their heads, confused.
“What did you do?” I asked, momentarily distracted.
“Silencing spell,” Dad said, stalking toward me. “I don’t want them to hear this conversation. In fact, I’d prefer if it were only you and I, but somehow I doubt those two behind you will leave us alone.”
“Nope,” Asmoday said. “Sir.”
Krishna shook his furry head. Actually, his entire furry body was shaking, his fearful gaze on the urbane man striding toward us.
“So anyway,” Dad drawled as he came to a stop, “I am fully aware that you’d make a lousy ruler in Hell.”
“Hey,” I protested. “Wait. You are?”
“Oh please. You’re just like your mother. Such a bleeding heart. Always looking out for the underdog.” He gave the fluffy werewolf a pointed glance.
I cleared my throat and dropped my gaze. While I much preferred to be more like my mother, protecting people like Krishna wasn’t something I consciously did. It just sort of happened.
“The problem is, you’re my daughter. Currently, my only offspring.”
“Currently?”
He shrugged. “I spread my seed far and wide. One of these days, another will take hold. Ever since your mother, I’ve made a concerted effort to screw only women with no morals. I’m sure the next one will be the perfect spawn to groom as my shadow.”
I swallowed thickly. “That sounds…lovely.”
“In the meantime, we need to figure out how to save face here. I can’t let all these followers think you’ve won.” He waved at the sea of demons behind him.
“Yoo-hoo!” Selina stepped out from behind an overgrown shrub, wiggling her fingers and shaking her hips as she made her way toward us on a pair of stiletto heels that kept sinking into the soft earth.
Her red dress with black polka dots was so short, I suspected we’d be able to see ass cheek if we were behind her.
And the neckline dipped almost to her naval.
Her eyes were smoky, her lips a deep burgundy, and her hair was teased about a mile high.
She hadn’t looked like this just a short time ago.
“Hi there,” she said, coming to stand next to me. “I’d like to volunteer as tribute.”
“Tribute?” Dad asked, a red flame sparking to life in his eyes.
“Uh-huh. The idea of birthing the spawn of Satan…” Without taking her eyes off him, she shivered. Dramatically.
My mother had been so stressed early in my life, worried that I’d be more like Dad than her. And then later, she worried that he’d come after me and want me to join him in Hell.
This might be exactly what Selina deserved. Even if it was kind of skeevy to think about a twenty-something woman getting it on with my father.
Dad’s gaze licked over her. “Are you even legal?”
Selina pressed her hand to her décolletage and giggled. “You flatter me.” She finger fluffed her hair. “As it happens, I am a hundred-and-fifty-year-old hag. My magic reserve is so minuscule because it takes nearly all of it to maintain this beautiful facade.”
I felt my jaw drop to my chest. Did Asmoday know that?
I couldn’t wait to razz him about sleeping with a cougar.
Dad arched his brows. “My soul is so black, my sperm doesn’t work very well. It will take lots of practice before we get so lucky.”
Ew, had he and Mom done it more than once? I’d always been under the impression it had been a poor choice one-night stand.
Selina dropped her gaze to his shiny shoes and then dragged it up to his slick hair, pausing for an unnecessarily long time on the groin area. She licked her lips. “I think I’m up for it.”
“You need to be sure,” Dad said, wagging his finger at her. “Consent is important. Even to the devil.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Also, you’re going to have to quit this place.”
“That’s okay. I can’t stand coffee. And one of the residents.”
Dad arched his brow.
“I’m sure,” Selina said, boldly stalking toward him and wrapping her arms around his neck, one leg around his thigh. Yep, there was the ass cheek. “Absolutely sure.”
This was officially weirding me out.
Dad pressed a hand to the small of Selina’s back and tossed a spell over his shoulder. All the demon chatter going on while we were having our private conversation abruptly stopped.
He turned himself and Selina to face the crowd.
“New plan, minions,” he announced. “I’m going to create a new spawn. A better spawn.” Glancing over Selina’s head, he winked at me before turning back to his followers.
“Let’s go home!”
A rousing cheer cut off abruptly when Dad zapped a nearby demon, turning him to dust.
“What was that for?” Selina asked, sounding almost giddy.
“He looked at you funny.”
She kissed his cheek.
Huh. As weird as it was, maybe this would work out after all.
Dad threw his arms into the air, and I raised my own, in front of Asmoday and Krishna, taking several steps backward and shunting them along with me.
“Back to Hell,” Dad announced, and then he tossed magic at the moat.
Nothing happened as far as I could tell, but his minions trudged forward anyway. I kept backing up, Asmoday and Krishna inching along with me, until we were standing to the side, next to the last building on the block.
The minions flooded toward the moat, six or seven wide, and suddenly, all but the two in the middle stepped off the edge and into the murky water.
The two in the middle walked across the water and slipped through a minuscule opening in the hellmouth.
Apparently he’d created an invisible bridge and none of them seemed to know how wide it was.
“Why don’t they just fly across?” Asmoday asked.
“Don’t ask questions. This is too entertaining,” I replied.
“Are you sure you aren’t interested in…?” Dad trailed off.
“Positive,” I assured him. Watching demons fall into a moat where a kraken was waiting for dinner was reasonably innocent fun.
Managing any part of Hell?
Not.
“Your loss,” Dad said. I begged to differ but didn’t say as much. No need to press when we were this close to being rid of him and his brethren.
The demons finally figured out that they had to walk across the moat two wide, although a few still fell into the drink when they ventured too far to the left or right of the invisible bridge.
I made a mental note to investigate ways to permanently close a hellmouth. I wasn’t in a hurry for a follow-up visit from my father.
Selina better damn well provide him with a new heir.
When Dad and Selina were the only ones left, he lifted his hand in a farewell wave.
“Enjoy your life, my spawn.”
“You too, Dad.”
It was the closest we’d ever come to saying “I love you.”
Asmoday squeezed my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get back to the B&B. I need to finish prepping my briskets. There’s a Valentine’s celebration calling our names.”
I laughed.
And just like that, life went back to normal.
My new normal.
I hoped it stayed that way.