Chapter 45
“So…” Willow prompts. “Why the long face?”
I raise an eyebrow.
She sighs. “Apart from the looming end of the world, that is.”
“It’s Wes,” I groan. “Or, more accurately, it’s me, failing Wes.”
“Babe.” She reaches out and takes my hand.
“I hate it, Wills. I’m, like, bursting with Lumina right now, and am I giving any to Wes? Nope, not a drop. It makes me feel like the shittiest person alive.”
She nods, understanding. That’s one of the many brilliant things about Willow. I don’t have to over explain.
“The old ‘needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few’ path was always going to be rough.”
“Just don’t start banging on about the Trolley problem,” I grumble. “Dono has already gone there, and it didn’t help at all.”
Willow gives me a sad smile. “It must be hard on him too.”
“It is. We both feel like total shits.”
“There is one thing…”
When she pauses, I look at her. “What?”
“Well, I don’t know if anyone has considered this, but isn’t there a chance that when you destroy Janine, Wes will be freed?”
My brain blinks a couple of times. Could that be right? It sounds like a possibility.
“Wills,” I gasp. “That’s, that’s…”
“A sliver of hope?”
“I’ll take it. A sliver is better than none.”
She nudges the plate of breakfast pastries towards me. “You can’t wallow in guilt and pessimism. You are Theodora Wilson, heir to Amirene’s Lumina. The rest of us are allowed to get overwhelmed, but you, Theo, you don’t get that luxury.”
Frowning, I bite into an apple turnover.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m giving you a best friend pep-talk.
There are three days to go. Three days until we end the ascensions, send the dark energy packing, and restore balance to Havengard.
You are our general and we are your army.
If the general mopes around looking defeated, how will the troops fare? ”
“This is how your Grandpa talks, isn’t it?”
“Bloomhower’s never back down from a battle.”
I think about her words and know she’s right. The odds of success may be…small, but they’ll get smaller if I don’t shift my attitude.
“That’s the spirit,” Willow grins as she watches me square my shoulders. “You should go get another boost of Lumina, that will also cheer you up.”
“Willow…”
She picks up a long eclair and wiggles it in my face. “I’m sure you can squeeze in a few more sparkles. From what I’ve heard, you’ve got amazing capacity.”
“I should never have told you,” I say, gritting my teeth. “I blame the rum.”
“Correct, you should not have told me. I don’t need the mental imagery of Donovan, Max and Alexis…” I grab the eclair out of her hand and smack her on the cheek with it. She just laughs. “What about Lu? You didn’t mention him in your, er, sparkle-sessions.”
It’s true. Ludo has been strangely absent the last few days. We’ve communicated a little, but I haven’t seen him at all.
I’m taking turns being worried, and being hurt. I explain as much to Willow
“I mean, he’s still sweet when we talk, but it feels like there’s something he’s not telling me—you know?”
Willow hums. “In that case, it’s time to get some answers. Go see him. If he’s keeping secrets, it will be for a good reason. But maybe he doesn’t understand he’s not alone anymore, that he has people to share with?”
If Ludo is keeping secrets, once this is over, I’m going to kill him for making me worry.
“What about talking to Max?” she suggests. “He and Ludo seem like they’re getting pretty close—bonding.”
A blush heats my cheeks as I think about exactly how they bonded recently.
“Why the red face, or should I not ask?” she laughs.
“Probably best if you don’t.”
“Oh Gods. Too late. That’s a combo I hadn’t expected.” Willow nudges me with her Elite-blazered shoulder.
“Sorry, cousin,” I whisper.
Everytime one of us says the word, it makes my stomach fill with butterflies. I’m so happy Wills is my family, but also tied in knots about the rest of my new parentage.
“I’m still on the fence about talking to Opal,” I mutter.
“No! Why?”
A heavy feeling twists in my gut. “She might not want a reminder of what that man did to her. And I’m walking, talking evidence of the rape.”
“Theo, she is going to love you so hard, I know it. I know her.”
I hope so.
I hope I live long enough for that conversation with Opal to happen.
“OK, I’ve got to split. See you at lunch?” Willow says, wiping chocolate custard off her cheek.
“See you then.”
My morning is taken up with Dr. Proctor’s potions class. I don’t try very hard to concentrate, my mind is taken up with the student tinkering with ingredients across the lab.
Francois de Vaux.
AKA.
My brother.
He’s only a few months older than me, so his mother must have been pregnant when Crankshawe raped Opal.
I can’t blame Francois for his parentage, any more than I’m responsible for mine. But the fact that he’s fully Conclave and has already ascended?
Nope.
Nope, with a big fat no.
For once, I’m glad I can’t read the minds of ascended Elites. I don’t want to know him at all. Every time I look at him, my skin prickles, and I’m trying to put out of my mind that we’re related, but being in class after class together, I get sucked in.
Trying to look for similarities. Mannerisms. Looks. Anything.
Because whatever we have in common will be from Crankshawe, and in that case I want to stamp it out.
Even if it means plucking out my own eyeballs.
Luckily, Francois does not have light gray eyes like me. He’s all sharp angles and dark, sardonic stares.
Like he can sense my gaze, he turns, meeting my eyes and raising a questioning eyebrow.
I look away feeling trapped.
The smell of the burning chemicals, the heat of the bunsen burners. Francois de Vaux.
I’d give anything to run out of here, but, obviously, I can’t.
Especially with the guards posted at the classroom doors.
No, I just have to continue listening to Dr. Proctor droning on about nightshade extract.
Suddenly, a familiar presence brushes against my mind. Alexis.
—Theo. Listen.—
I keep swirling my Anther-glass flask. —What’s up?—
—I heard from Cosmo—
Ah yes, my new friend Cosmo Drakeward. He’s at the Singleton-Smith estate today, going over final details with the party planner.
—He got into the private study and used the seek spell I taught him…books on the void and dark energy displacement...are in a glass vitrine in the study—
Yes!
If Lexi can get his eagle eyes on those, it could be the answer to our problems.
—So, grab them at the engagement party? —
—Before then would be preferable, but maybe not possible…he sent me a couple of photos…my gryphon definitely thinks we need to see the contents—
Hmm. I don’t see any way to make it possible.
—Drakeward is going to attempt to steal them—
—That seems risky—
—It is….probability of success is sixty eight to one—
Shit. That’s bad. Honestly, the more detailed we get about this operation, the more ludicrous it seems.
—What are our current chances of success, Lex?—
No reply.
—Lex?—
—Ninety seven point three to one—
So that’s a two point seven percent chance of things going our way.
Tits.
“Ms. Wilson?”
Oh, shit. “Sorry, what was that, Doctor Proctor?”
Doctor Proctor adjusts his spectacles, leaning over a bubbling cauldron of iridescent liquid. “I asked, Ms. Wilson, if you can explain why we must add the pulverized moonstone to the shadow-root infusion before the mixture reaches its boiling point, rather than after?”
My mind is still reeling from Alexis’s depressing success statistics, but I manage to channel dumb Theo. “Gosh, Doctor, is it because it tastes better?”
“Oh my Gods, how in Hades are you in this class, Ms. Wilson?”
I shrug and when I look up again, Francois is staring at me. He gives me a slight smile then turns and raises a hand. “Pardon, Docteur, but I believe Ms. Wilson has much potential. Perhaps I should partner with her? Help her catch up, n'est-ce pas?”
What the fuck?
I blink rapidly, wondering what dumb-Theo could say to make sure this doesn’t happen.
Doctor Proctor looks puzzled but nods. “If you’re sure, de Vaux. She definitely needs peer help. Wilson, move your things and sit with Francois.”
Once again for those at the back. What the fuck.
I sit like a deer in headlights.
“Move!” Proctor yells. “You’ve disrupted us long enough.”
Fine. I can do this. And I have to do this, because I’m the Conclave’s little placid doll.
“Thank you, Francois,” I say, sliding into the seat next to him.
“De rien.”
“De rien?”
“It means, ‘it’s nothing’, in the same way you would say ‘you’re welcome’. But now you mention it, I think, tout le plaisir est pour moi, is more correct.”
Hmm, I decide not to play his game.
After a beat he tells me anyway. “It means, the pleasure is all mine.”
Yeah. I didn’t need to know that, bro. What’s his angle anyway? Is he keeping tabs on me for the Conclave? I guess I am their golden goose right now.
“You are excited about the fête on Saturday? The party?”
Flutter, flutter of my lashes. “Super excited, I have the loveliest gown.”
Francois studies my face. “It is interesting. The patterns of your speech changes from time to time. Did you know that?”
Oh shit.
I put a baffled expression on my face. “What is this potion about, please?”
“Finding the truth, vous comprenez?” He reaches out to take a pair of tweezers at the same moment as me.
When our hands brush, I have the oddest sensation.
Like my Lumina recognizes him. I quickly break the contact, but not before a sparkle leaves my fingers and enters Francois.
I look down at the desk, breathing hard.
He murmurs something under his breath. It sounded like, ‘très intéressant’.
Fuck.
The next two hours drag interminably.
Terrible way to spend maybe the last few days of my life.
???
I couldn’t sleep last night.
Max and Donovan sandwiched me in between them, but even the warmth and comfort of their bodies didn’t banish the fear.
The bone-deep chill.
Tomorrow, we try to kill Janine.
And if we don’t succeed?
Well, plan B is to just whisk me away from here and to go into hiding, but what good does that do? The Conclave will just steal more children to take my place.
This has to work.
After sending the guys back to their apartment, I get dressed and head down the stairs to see Wes. I don’t even care about the guards and the healers any more. What are they going to do? Report me?
So what.
“Miss, you can’t go in there.”
“Oh, hi. I’m visiting Wes Hart. I have permission.”
The security man at the sickbay door looks confused.
“Check with the Electus supervisor,” I suggest.
He starts tapping away on a small tablet.
—What the fuck are you playing at, pulu—
—I’m seeing Wes—
“Alright, you’re cleared, but next time bring the official form.”
“Yes, sir.”
Happily, there isn’t a healer inside the room. But if there had been?
Maybe I’d have spelled them. I’m getting pretty good at all that casting shit.
Standing beside Wes’s bed, something inside of me wants to break, but I won’t let it. Wes is mine and I’m not giving up on him.
Surely I can afford just a little expenditure of my Lumina. Just a drop or two?
—Wes?— I take his hand. —Hey, my love—
For a while, I just stand there, allowing the heat from my palm to warm his hand. A small trickle of Lumina passes between us.
—Everything is coming to a head, Wes…and there are so many ways for this to end in disaster…but if you’re in there listening to me…know that I’ll always love you—
Nothing.
—And if I don’t make it back to you…you’ve still got to fight. Fight for Donovan. If he loses both of us, he won’t survive—
Suddenly, Wes’s hand convulses, clamps like a vice on mine.
And a sharp, twisting sensation tugs at my arm, my chest, my core. It’s dark and cold, and fuck…
My Lumina. It’s being sucked into Wes, but not in a good way. The dragging feeling pulls and tugs, dredging the sparkles that flow through my body.
—Wes, no. You have to stop—
It’s like the darkness in him is trying to swallow me whole. Fuck. NO.
Why can’t I pull my hand free?
—WES!—
Something slams into me, sending me flying across the tiled floor. I raise my stunned head. Cosmo Drakeward looks down at me, face like thunder.
“What the fuck, Theodora?”
I groan, flopping back onto the flooring. I feel like I’ve gone ten rounds with Dwayne Johnson. Cosmo appears at eye level, squatting next to my head. “Are you OK?” he asks in a softer tone.
“No.” I can only croak out one word.
Gods, what if I’ve lost most of my Lumina?
Shit. If I tell the guys, they’re going to freak.
And pull the plug on the whole plan. I’m such an idiot.
“You seem like you’re in pain. What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Wes?”
“No,” I say again. Apparently that’s the extent of my vocabulary right now. I feel sick and dizzy.
“Come on, Theodora. Let me help you up.” Cosmo’s arm goes under my back and I allow to help me sit. “Can you tell me what just happened?” he asks in a surprisingly gentle voice.
What happen? I don’t know.
I pull myself off the floor. Cosmo stands close, his body almost touching mine. “Theo?”
I reach up and touch his face, then attempt to send a little Lumina towards him as an experiment. Wes didn’t siphon everything.
Phew.
Still the alien sensation of that cold, dark force still lingers.
“I nearly lost the Lumina,” I tell him.
He runs a hand through his hair, looking worried. “Nearly? It’s still there?”
“Yes, just. But, Cosmo. It was bad, I almost…couldn’t fight it. Shit, and Janine is going to be stronger.”
“And you’ll have all of us at your side, you won’t be alone.”
I won’t be alone. He’s right. The thought calms me.
“Are you going to class?” Cosmo asks after a beat.
I shrug. “Don’t really see the point.”
“Yeah, me neither.” He pauses, looking awkward, and Cosmo Drakeward doesn’t do awkward. “Do you want to come up to the penthouse? I’ve some breakfast foods.”
That makes me smile slightly. “Anyhing other than kale smoothies?”
His brow wrinkles. “Yogurt and granola?”
“I guess I can handle that.”
And so, I go to the penthouse.
With my new pal, Cosmo Drakeward.