Chapter 46
The penthouse feels too large these days.
I used to enjoy space, peace, but now I’m…lonely.
Having Theodora here feels good.
She sits at the kitchen island, looking tiny and pale. Her hands tremble as she picks at a bowl of granola. Whatever happened in the infirmary has clearly left her shaken.
"Eat," I say, sliding a glass of freshly pressed orange juice toward her. "You looking so weak is annoying my dragon.”
Theodora gives a half smile. “Your dragon is always annoyed, Cosmo. He should try yoga.”
I lean against the counter. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
She shrugs, a stray curl falling over her eye. I fight the urge to stroke it away. "I don’t know what to say,” she answers. “The Lumina reacted in a way I’ve never experienced.”
Hmm. “Is anything else different?”
Her brow creases. “Now you come to mention it, the air is heavy today. Can you feel it?”
Yes. Yes I can. The atmosphere is thick and oily. Not electric like before a storm, but something different—and unnatural. “You think it’s the coming Dunamis pulse? Are we tuning into that?”
I don’t like the thought, but it seems possible.
She gives another shrug. “I don’t know. My brain feels like mush.” She reaches out and starts fiddling with things on the counter. I watch as she twists the corkscrew up and down slightly maniacally.
“Hey, what’s going on? Where’s the Theodora who’s about to head into battle, an army at her back?” I ask quietly. “Where is the warrior queen?”
“Maybe that’s always been a facade. Look at me. What can I really do?”
I reach out to touch her then retract my hand. “Believing in someone other than myself is a new experience for me, Theodora. But I do believe in you. I truly do.”
She looks up at me, then her gaze flicks over the living room area. “Remember when you forced me to massage your back? Compelled me to kneel in front of you?”
Fuck.
“Yes.”
“Which you is real, Cosmo? That douche Elite, or this guy standing in front of me?”
Closing my eyes for a second, I think about her question. The truth is, I’ll always be an arrogant asshole, but I hope that I can maybe change into one who isn’t wilfully cruel.
“It’s pointless to try and answer that, Theodora. Would my words change anything?”
When she looks away, I see the truth.
No.
They won’t.
But perhaps my deeds can.
She shoves the corkscrew to one side, and next picks up a little box.
I freeze.
Theodora is not really concentrating on what she’s doing as she flips the little hinges open. But then her body tenses. We both look down at the sparkling monstrosity.
“Jordan’s ring?” she asks, her voice catching.
“Yep.”
“Ruby’s?”
“Red diamonds, actually. Mother picked it out. Fire and ice, you know.” I don’t bother stifling my grimace. We both look down at the sparkling monstrosity. The red diamonds look like droplets of blood frozen in platinum.
“And tomorrow you give it to Jordan.”
“Unfortunately.”
So very fucking unfortunately.
“What happens at an Elite engagement ceremony?”
I shudder. “A spell binds us, making infidelity impossible.”
“No, really?” Her eyes grow wide. “Are you telling me all the Elite couples are perfectly faithful to each other? That seems…unlikely.”
Her cynicism is well founded. “The effects of the binding only last for a couple of years. By that time the couple is supposed to be so established that the lock and key is unnecessary.”
“What a crock of shit.”
“Agreed.”
Theodora drops the ring box then pushes to her feet. “Well, I’d better get going.”
“Are you going to be OK? Shall I get Donovan or Max?”
She shakes her head. “No. I actually think I need some time alone. Thanks for breakfast, Cosmo.”
I follow as she crosses the room towards the door. Follow like a stray looking for scraps. She pauses and I almost walk into her. Something crackles between us.
“Was that Lumina?” She really is a fucking Goddess.
“Yes,” she says so quietly, it’s almost a whisper.
“And it jumped from you to me? Or the other way around?”
Theodora is silent for a moment, then shakes her head. “We…we made it between us.”
We what now?
“I…I can help you with your Lumina too? Like the others?”
“Apparently.”
Fuuuck. My mind flashes on all the oversharing Donovan has done about how he refills her Lumina reservoir.
“If you need, er, more…” Gods, I’m pathetic. “If there is a time when you’re desperate and don’t have a better option. I’ll be here for you.”
Into the strange and strained atmosphere, a slight shimmer appears. I can hardly breathe.
She doesn’t move either.
The shimmer grows, glitters, surges.
Surges between us.
And then, I don’t know if it’s Theo making a conscious decision, or the magical essence inside her, but she rests a hand on my lapel and slowly pulls me closer.
And grazes her lips against mine.
And I nearly lose my mind.
I’m on a tilt-a-whirl made of amethyst crystals and light. Spinning, spinning. Images of past flash by. Mostly bad, mostly ugly, and only tiny fractals of good. My veins fill with liquid gold. My past doesn't disappear, but the offenses lose their edge, sanded down by the force of her essence.
Then she withdraws. This Goddess. This Queen.
She’s out the door without another word.
I fall to my knees and cry like a baby.