CHAPTER 36 #2
Kara’s breath shook as she pulled back from his hands, searching his face – the truth of his words was there for her to see. “Maybe we need to forget all the loud stuff, Sebastian. The prophecies. The war. The Shards. Even the bond,” she insisted. “Do you love me?”
“Yes. You know I do,” he said, desperate and unguarded. “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. More than I thought possible. That’s the problem. I love you so fucking much it terrifies me.”
How could he think that was a problem?
She leaned in so that their foreheads were touching. “That’s all I need.”
He shook his head. “But Kara, if we bond and I die – I don’t want to damn you to that fate–”
“If you die, I’ll grieve you,” she answered as she drew back to look him in the eye, her palms flat against his bare chest. “Sebastian, it would destroy me whether we were bonded or not. The bond just means I’d feel it more.
But I’d rather have a ruined soul from losing you than spend my life never truly having you at all.
I would Soulbond with you right now. Declare it before all of Vallenna if I had to. I have no doubts.”
She watched Sebastian closely, his magic spitting crimson across his palms. She thought he was going to deny her again, but the words didn’t come.
Finally he turned away from her and said, “It’s not only the bond, Kara, it’s everything else.” He gestured helplessly. “You’ve been tied to a pyre. Lost your home, everything you knew. Before me, your life was safe. And now–”
“Now I’m free.”
And I would never go back. Even if I could.
He looked at her like she’d lost her mind.
“Yes, I’ve been through terrible things.
Yes, I’ve suffered. But do you know what I’ve gained?
” She cupped his cheek. “Not just you, although, Gods, that would be enough. But I’ve gained the ability to choose.
To decide what matters to me and fight for it.
Before you, I was safe – that’s true enough.
But I was a prisoner. Engaged to a man I didn’t love, damned to spend my entire life doing what I was told. ”
Her voice grew fierce as she reached for his hand again.
“I’d rather have a hard life that I chose than an easy life that was chosen for me.
You gave me that.” She shook her head. “So don’t do what my father did.
Don’t make decisions for me because you think you know what’s best. You’re wrapping it in protection instead of duty, but you’re still taking away my choice. ”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Fuck. You’re right.” His shoulders sagged as the realisation hit him. “You’re right,” he repeated. “That’s exactly what I’ve been doing.” He bowed his head, dragged a hand across his face. Then looked back at her. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said gently. “But Sebastian, if you have doubts, if you’re not sure for you – not out of some sense of protection for me – then we do nothing. Because you can’t force this. You need to want it.”
Every muscle in Sebastian’s body seemed to tense, like he might bolt at any second. He raked a hand through his hair, a harsh laugh escaping him.
“Kara.” His expression cracked, like something inside him had broken free. “I do want it. Of course I do.”
Her heart soared.
“I feel it in my soul, in my magic, in every cursed part of me. I’ve wanted it since – since before I even understood what it was.
It’s like every time I touch you, every time you look at me, something inside me says yes.
Says her. My bond. My match.” He shook his head, his eyes wild.
But this time the wildness looked less like refusal and more like surrender.
Relief. “We’ve known each other barely a month. It’s madness. It’s–”
“–the truth,” Kara said. She gave him a small smile. “It’s been a busy month, though.”
That startled a laugh out of him – rough and disbelieving. He let out a shuddering breath and looked at her with a strange, reckless resolve. The fight drained out of him.
“I love you,” he said, completely sincere.
Her pulse jumped at the words. “I love you, too.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then he muttered, “I suppose I should do it properly.”
Kara frowned. “What do you–”
He took one deep breath. That was all the warning she had before he moved, dropping to one knee on the worn wooden floor.
Her hands flew to her mouth as she watched him, wide-eyed.
He looked every inch the commander’s son, the Thorne heir, his back straight, shoulders squared.
But when he spoke, it was quiet and raw.
“Even knowing that we might not survive what’s coming, and even though you deserve so much more than I can give you–”
“Sebastian–”
“Kara Hale,” he said, “will you do me the enormous honour of Soulbonding with me?”
She gasped. She couldn’t help herself. The sound that escaped her was half sob, half laugh.
“Yes,” she answered. The word felt like freedom.
“Yes?”
Of course yes, you ridiculous man!
“Yes, yes, yes!” she cried. A giggle slipped out, almost hysterical. “Oh... my father will be furious.”
When Sebastian smiled, joy radiated from him. He surged to his feet and caught her, one hand on her waist, the other on the nape of her neck, and pulled her into a fierce claiming kiss.
“You’re mine,” he growled against her lips.
“Yours,” she answered breathlessly.
For a long time after, they clung to each other. When Kara pulled back, her eyes were still shining.
“Do you... do you know how it’s even done?” she asked.
Sebastian huffed a laugh. “Not the faintest idea.”
That set her off again, laughter bubbling up from her chest until she had to bury her face against him to smother it.
It was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, that they stood here – the two most wanted fugitives in all of Vallenna, with the fate of the realm hinging on whether or not they Soulbonded – and neither of them had the faintest clue how to do it.
“Well then,” she said, still grinning, “I suppose we’d better ask Veyra.”