Chapter 23
Lucien
My heart pounded so wildly I feared it’d beat right out of my chest. Lisette seemed to sense the importance of the matter I wished to discuss; her shy green eyes gazed deeply into mine as she patiently awaited the confession I knew more than anything I needed to give, even as my desperation to keep her held the words back.
I’d spent a lot of time pondering the possible reasons for her second disappearance, my memory dwelling less on our sweet kiss that had occurred moments before and more on the hurt filling her eyes—a look I knew that my mistakes and weaknesses had caused more times than I could count, and infinitely more than she deserved.
Which made it all the more imperative that I reveal the truth so she could finally begin to heal. I pondered the necessary words, but no matter how I rearranged them I couldn’t figure out how to tell her, even as I knew I’d stalled this conversation long enough. I needed to stop lying, to give her the courtesy of complete honesty if we had any hope of picking up the pieces I’d singlehandedly shattered.
With a wavering breath I tightened my hold around her hand, savoring the connection while I could in case my confession might cause her to pull away.
“When you first reappeared, I told you that we had loved one another. I’m afraid that wasn’t exactly the truth. While my feelings for you are real, I’d never found the chance to share them with you, nor had I given you any reason to believe I harbored any affection. Despite what I led you to believe, in truth you didn’t seem to love me. Yet I saw an opportunity to restart our relationship that had faltered, and made the foolish, hurtful decision to let you believe that my feelings for you were mutual and that we had a shared past of love and companionship, the story that I wished more than anything had been true. I’m so sorry.”
Rather than the anger I expected from such an admission, instead her eyes lit up. “You really love me?” Her voice was weak with disbelief and a sweet hope that nourished my own.
I nodded earnestly. “While I want nothing more than to keep your trust and the affection growing between us, I’ve come to realize that it”s more important to be honest…even if it means you never fully return to me. But even if my dishonorable actions cause you to wish to part ways, I will still help break your curse so that you can be free. I only want what’s best for you.”
I tensed as I awaited her judgment, but rather than the harsh condemnation I expected and wholly deserved, to my surprise a smile softly caressed her lips. “I’ve been awaiting your confession. I’m so glad you told me.”
It took a moment for the full meaning of her words to settle over me. “You mean you knew?”
Guilt drew her gaze downwards. “Only since my memories returned; our kiss seemed to be the key to unlocking the true nature of our first courtship.”
“So that’s why you vanished again.” My heart wrenched; as I’d feared, it’d been my fault after all. If she had never reappeared, my lies that had initially been told to keep her with me might have had the opposite effect, causing me to lose her forever.
Her glassy gaze sought mine, as if seeking something beyond my confession. “Why did you lie?”
“You are not the only one who vanished—my true self disappeared behind my role of crown prince, causing my true feelings to come across as indifferent or distant. I’ve always cared for you, but I allowed my determination to do my duty as well as my hesitance upon noticing your own withdrawal to keep me from exhibiting my affection, leading you to falsely believe me indifferent when nothing could be further from the truth. It was partly from what I hope was a good motive—I thought the curse might target you if I seemed to care about you—but I allowed that charade to become all you saw of me. I hoped that pretending we’d always been in love would both give you a reason to remain in the visible world and bless us with the second chance I longed for to finally make our relationship real.”
Silence settled around us as she pondered my response, but not the tense one I’d expected after finally revealing the truth—this one was comfortable, an almost peaceful feeling I never would have expected after exposing my vulnerabilities to the one I most wanted to impress.
Even though I no longer hid behind the role I’d clung to in a futile effort to protect myself, Lisette didn’t pull away, accepting me even in my weaknesses, just as I accepted her despite her own. Perhaps this was what love truly was—not something fabricated, but an emotion that could only grow naturally after dedicated nourishment.
My desperation to know her thoughts and reassure myself that she didn’t hate me compelled me to penetrate the calming yet uncertain quiet I couldn’t bear any longer. “Are you alright?” I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, one she returned after a moment’s hesitation.
“I am. I appreciate your being honest with me.”
Her sweet words of forgiveness washed over me, giving me hope for our future and nourishing my intense desire to do all in my power not only to break the curse, but to nurture her heart…which reminded me that I had one more confession to make.
“I also need to apologize for letting our relationship be so impersonal and distant. I did not truly see you then as you needed and deserved, and failed to realize what you were going through. At first I wanted to give you space to become comfortable enough to open up, but then I allowed my duties to distract me from realizing how you were suffering in your home situation and failed in my duty to protect and cherish you. I regret the years we lost when we could have been coming to know one another and giving each other much needed support.”
Lisette tilted her head as she considered my words. “You were not the only one who made mistakes—I didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship or to share the deepest parts of myself, and in my fear closed myself off from you. Much as I longed for a true heart bond with you during those years, I can understand why we did not find it then. We both needed to grow before we could truly show love.”
I squeezed her hands and searched her gaze as I gathered the courage for my next words. “I will do anything to rebuild the trust we were starting to find…if it’s not too late to continue where we left off.”
I waited with bated breath for her decision and felt a surge of relief when her lips twitched up into a soft smile. “It appears this will be our third courtship.”
“What better way to commence it than by wooing you over curse research.”
She laughed, a joyous sound her previous shyness had once prevented me from hearing. “You are quite the charmer.”
“I just want to do all within my power to keep you forever.”
Vulnerability tinged her quiet joy, evidence of the insecurities she battled—a fight I would join as many times as it took to finally rescue her. “Are you sure it’s me you want rather than whatever suitable match your father is attempting to arrange?”
I enfolded her hand between mine, her form more solid after our conversation than it ever had been before. “I only want you. I love you, Lisette.”
While she didn’t express the heartfelt love I yearned to hear from her lips in return, I detected a hint of the tender emotion in her eyes that I would do all within my power to nourish until it bloomed into confident, joyous love.
I wanted to bask in this romantic moment forever, but I knew that we needed to return to business, breaking the curse placed upon her if we had any hope of preserving our time together. “If you knew of my deception, why did you still feel compelled to return?”
“I’ve discovered a possible lead in our research…at least that’s the reason I used to convince myself. In truth I’ve missed you and wanted to believe your affection was real.” A blush brushed her cheeks and she shyly averted her eyes.
Hope swelled that despite my mistakes it wasn’t too late for us. “What have you discovered?”
She lifted the pendant she’d worn around her neck for as long as I’d known her. It possessed not only a unique artistic design, but an unusual glistening oval stone embedded into the metal that was far different from the jewels that normally adorned the woman of the court.
My brow furrowed. “What type of stone is that?”
“I believe it’s a phanite. I managed to identify it in one of Prince Ryland’s petrology books, but couldn’t uncover any more information on my own and need your help.”
My chest warmed that despite my mistakes she still wanted to work together. “From what I remember, it’s one of my kingdom’s minor resources, though to my knowledge it doesn’t possess any particular properties.”
“There’s a possibly it might emit magic—I’ve sensed power from it the more tangible my body has become, making me wonder whether it’s what has prevented me from fully disappearing and whether it could be the missing piece in saving your kingdom.”
Her words stirred dormant knowledge pertaining to the villages that had disappeared that had initially seemed inconsequential. “There just might be a connection.”
I took her hand and eagerly started towards the door, but felt her tugging against me. Confused, I turned back to find her face twisted in discomfort. “What’s wrong? Are you uncomfortable with my proximity while you process everything I told you?” I dropped her hand.
She shook her head. “No, I have no reservations towards you; I fully trust in you and your love for me. But I recently discovered that I’ve also been lying to you, though it didn’t start out intentionally…” Her voice trailed off and she wrung her hands.
“Please don’t be afraid to tell me.” I gently took her trembling hands to still them and she slowly lifted troubled eyes to meet mine.
“I’m afraid this may change everything between us,” she whispered. “I promise I thought you knew…or at least I didn’t immediately consider that you might not.” She paused to draw a shaky breath. “The King of Thorndale is my father, but the queen…is not my mother.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before slowly opening them a sliver to take in my expression.
I tightened my grip on her hands. “It appears that your confession is similar to mine in that you shared information I already possessed.”
She gaped at me. “You’ve known all this time?”
“No, but Castiel recently informed me…or rather he mentioned it in passing, assuming I already knew.”
“I’m so sorry,” Lisette murmured. “I never meant to continue our engagement under false pretenses. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it earlier, but I know that Brimoire would never allow a—”
“Stop.” I laid a finger on her insubstantial lips. “I believe that you had no intention of misleading me. There is nothing to fear—I care about you for your sake, not for your title.”
She stared at me wordlessly, the heartache slowly fading from her eyes as she took in my words. “But how can you accept an illegitimate bride?”
“Your parentage is not your identity. Some princes have taken commoners as wives, or women with entirely unknown backgrounds. The supposed purity of your blood has nothing to do with your ability to rule well. No matter what, you are the one I want at my side…if that is also your desire.”
Though she still looked a bit uncertain, she gave a faint nod. “For now, let’s focus on the potential discovery regarding the curse.”
Anticipation pounded my heart as I kept hold of her hand and led her through the corridors to the royal archives, where we stored the records detailing all the information we had about the curse’s effect on the kingdom. While there were still an abundance of mysteries, we’d carefully chronicled the information we’d managed to discover even without understanding the meaning about these scattered pieces.
We perused stacks of documents containing the names and locations of the vanished villages, along with the timeline and casualties for when the curse struck each. Our gazes frequently met to cause one another a shy glance and our fingers occasionally brushed one another’s as we pored over several maps before we finally found what we were looking for.
“There appears to be a connection after all—each section of the kingdom that has vanished is either on or very close to the deposits where phanite is found.” I pointed to each village in turn.
Her brow furrowed. “Could a mineral of seemingly small insignificance be responsible for such vast devastation?”
It did seem strange, but it was too much of a coincidence to dismiss the possibility entirely. I would need to consult an expert in the matter. I found the one I sought in his study with his wife, both of whom were dedicatedly poring over the magic books that Evelyn had sent for several days previously, which must have just arrived.
They looked up at my entrance and Evelyn immediately startled, nearly dropping the thick tome she’d been studying. “Princess Lisette?” Her widened gaze was riveted to Lisette’s translucent form beside me.
“Can you finally see her?” While I’d noticed Lisette steadily growing more solid, I hadn’t realized it’d been enough for her to shed some of her invisibility around others besides me.
Though Evelyn nodded, Ryland’s lost gaze darted in various directions. He would need to be able to see her in order to examine the mineral embedded in her pendant. With a steadying breath Lisette closed her eyes and furrowed her brow in concentration. After several minutes of focused effort during which her body flickered between various stages of solidity, her hand woven through mine gradually took on more form until it felt warm and soft within my hold.
By my brother’s sudden gasp, she’d finally reappeared enough to be discernible within his realm of sight. He stared in shock and disbelief before managing a grin. “It’s good to see you again, Princess Lisette. I’m glad you haven’t entirely vanished.”
His relief was nowhere near as acute as mine; my hand instinctively tightened around hers in subconscious desperation to keep her at my side. “We need your help identifying this stone in Lisette’s pendant.” I gestured to the necklace draping her neck.
Ryland immediately stood. “Finally I have a task where I can actually prove useful rather than spending hours combing through tomes without yielding results.”
He approached Lisette with the enthusiasm of a young boy with his favorite toy. He crouched slightly to better examine her necklace. He’d barely glanced at it when his eyes lit up.
“Phanite, and such a remarkable sample.” His touch was reverent as he turned it over in his hand. “Its typically orange-red to brownish-red color often misidentifies it as ruby, but it’s actually a very uncommon borate mineral currently only found within Brimoire’s borders. Its rarity is due to its makeup of zirconium and boron rarely interacting with each other in nature, and while we’ve discovered very little use for it, there have been many fascinating studies—“
He momentarily paused when his wife brushed his arm with an indulgent smile. “I will be happy to listen to every detail you know about that particular mineral later, but time is currently too pressing not to focus on only the most pertinent points.”
He cleared his throat. “Of course.”
I grinned at him. “Who knew your useless hobby would ever come in handy?” It was easy to tease him now that we finally had a potential way out of this labyrinth of uncertainty where we’d been trapped for so long.
Ryland rolled his eyes but his lips twitched with amusement. “My worth extends well beyond being the spare. While I’ve been unable to study phanite as much as I would like due to the limited information on the topic, I do know that our kingdom has sold shipments of the mineral in the past to Thorndale, though they haven’t disclosed what they use it for.”
Lisette stiffened at the mention of her kingdom. She seemed about to elaborate on Ryland’s speculations for why Thorndale would be so invested in a rare and seemingly useless mineral…before closing her mouth with an almost pained look, as though the discussion of Thorndale made her more distressed than usual.
“I’ve heard it touted as a popular item for jewelry.” Lisette’s hands wavered as she motioned towards her necklace.
Ryland nodded. “That better explains Thorndale’s pointed investment in focusing on this resource in trade and as part of the marriage contract. The deposits were in frequent use several years ago, but I rarely see them now.”
Evelyn’s eyes widened, as struck with a sudden epiphany. “I thought phanite sounded familiar.”
“You know of it?” Ryland’s eyes lit up that his beloved possessed knowledge of his obsession.
Evelyn nodded. “It’s a rare mineral that contains magical properties. I had no idea it could be found in Brimoire.” She cradled the pendant, her thumb brushing against the stone as she studied it, tipping her head as though listening. “I can feel faint magic pulsating from it. I imagine its full power can only be accessed if properly processed.” As she spoke, she frantically flipped through her magic book. “Magical minerals and their components’ effects in spells and potions was part of my magic studies. From what I remember, phanite was a resource commonly used in the distant past; if harvested correctly, its powers can be quite potent. It has since become scarce; until today I knew of no remaining resources, so I suspect Brimoire has several secret reserves.”
As the two excitedly discussed amongst themselves, Lisette suddenly leaned closer to me and lowered her voice. “There’s something else about that mineral that you should know.” She hesitated, her gaze flickering towards Ryland and Evelyn, before she lowered her gaze. “Nevermind, I can tell you later.”
I sensed the matter was of greater importance than she’d alluded to and wished she wouldn’t hesitate in confiding in me, but after all we’d already endured together, I trusted she would turn to me whenever she was ready; rather than force the progress in our relationship as I had before, I would patiently go at whatever pace she was most comfortable with.
We spent the next hours researching all we could find about phanite—both its natural properties in Ryland’s petrology books and its enchanted elements in Evelyn’s magical resources. While we’d made an important step in uncovering the potential cause of the curse, we were unfortunately no closer to discovering how to break it.
“With our new knowledge that villages containing phanite are more likely to be struck by the curse, I think our best course would be to visit one of the abandoned mining villages.” Ryland frowned anxiously at his wife. “You should probably stay here. The exertion could be dangerous for you, not to mention the possibility of the curse—”
Evelyn shook her head. “Thank you, but I think I should go. Since I’m the only one who can sense magic, I will be able to notice if the curse is active or moving towards us; it should be relatively safe.”
We studied the maps, discussing which locations seemed the most promising, but unfortunately the pattern of when each village had vanished was too sporadic to predict the exact location where it might strike next. If we could discover it, we’d be one step closer in finally learning the truth about the magic slowly consuming our kingdom…and perhaps even find a way to stop it once and for all.