CHAPTER 1 ALEXIS
I turn my phone back on with shaking fingers as I wonder whether Thanksgiving will always be clouded by this event moving forward.
Will I sit at the table next year with my father? Or will his seat be empty?
I’m not sitting at the table with him this year, and it’s because I’m lying to him as I do things behind his back.
I didn’t even call him to bid him a Happy Thanksgiving. I didn’t call him to tell him how thankful I am for everything he’s done for me.
I didn’t call him because I’m hiding out with my boyfriend.
And now I might not get the chance to tell him everything I need to say.
Thank you for being there for me when we both lost Mom.
Thank you for raising me into the woman I am today.
I may be twenty-eight, but I still need my daddy.
I thought I was living the past twenty-four hours in complete bliss, but that bliss has quickly shifted into a nightmare.
I can’t lose him.
I can’t have no parents left. I’m too young. He’s too young. So was my mother.
These details plague me as I wait for answers.
I have no idea what’s going on, and Gregory found out exactly zero details, so I need to call Brooks. And if my father finds out where I am, well, so be it.
I need to know he’s okay.
I ran upstairs immediately after telling Gregory let’s go and I started throwing all my belongings back into my suitcase.
He has to be okay.
He’s going to be okay.
I’m still throwing stuff while cradling my phone between my ear and shoulder when Brooks answers.
“Hello.”
“Is he okay? What happened?” I demand. I pause what I’m doing to hold the phone tightly, as if that’ll make the reply any different. Any better.
“He passed out during dinner. Just slumped over. Scared the hell out of my dad and me, so we called nine-one-one. The paramedics said he had low oxygen, but they won’t tell me anything here at the hospital since I’m not immediate family.”
“I’m coming home.”
“When do you need to be back on set?” he asks.
“Monday, but if I don’t make it, I don’t make it.”
He wouldn’t want that. He wouldn’t want me to put anything career-related on hold for him. But I will. I don’t care if it costs thousands of dollars a day. I’ll pay the difference—it’s only money.
This is my dad we’re talking about.
Danny walks into the room just as I say the words. He watches me quietly while I pack and talk on the phone, and he walks over to his closet and grabs a small suitcase.
My heart lifts.
Is he coming, too?
No. He can’t come. Obviously.
But I need him there. I need him to stand by my side while I walk into the unknown. I need him holding my hand as I hear whatever news awaits me.
“You don’t have to. I can handle things here,” he says.
“I need to see my father,” I say flatly. I need to know for myself that he’s going to be okay, but I don’t feel like explaining that to Brooks. “I’ll text flight details and keep messenger on. Let me know the second you hear anything.”
We say our goodbyes, and I hang up and slide my phone into my pocket.
Danny clears his throat. “I booked you a flight. You and Gregory. It leaves in an hour, so it might be better to leave your stuff here and just take what you need for the next couple of days in this smaller suitcase since you have to be back here on Monday. I’ll drive you to the airport and take care of the rental car and the Yukon. ”
My knees nearly give out at his words, at this show of support that I’m so not used to.
I have loyalty all around me. I have a huge fan base who adores every move I make. I have legions of people who know every word to every song, those who read into the lyrics and search for cryptic clues. I have people who solve puzzles I didn’t even intend to make.
But I don’t have any normal relationships, including with my own father. Including my manager.
I’m locked in a prison in my own home, and the sting of loneliness grates on me sometimes.
Or it did, anyway. Until Danny.
Now he feels like home. He’s the very definition of home—a place of belonging where I’m safe and loved and can be my true, authentic self.
And I’m leaving this home we’ve built over the last few months to head back to the prison.
He sees I’m about to fall, and he swoops in to hold me up, grabbing me into his arms and holding me tightly.
“I wish you could come,” I say, and I’m not sure I’ve ever needed someone as much as I need him right now. I need his hand in mine. I need him here by my side telling me how everything is going to be okay.
It will be okay…right?
This is my father we’re talking about. Sure, we’ve had some disagreements about my career, but every family has disagreements.
Most don’t work together the way we do. He’s still the man who captured my first steps on video, the man who warned off the boy who took me to my freshman year homecoming dance, the man whose hand I held at my mother’s funeral.
He’s still my dad despite the arguments we’ve had over the last few months.
And at the center of those arguments is me. I’m the one changing and growing while he’s been stuck in the way we’ve done things for the last twelve years. He’s comfortable there, and we’ve had a lot of success together—which is why it’s hard to make a change.
I can’t help but wonder if the blame for whatever this health crisis is falls on my shoulders.
Did the stress of his daughter wanting to stop working with him cause some kind of issue?
Danny holds me for a few beats while all this darts through my mind. I hold tightly to him as the conflicting thoughts swirl around me. The only thing I’m sure of right now is my feelings for the man holding me.
“I’m not ready to leave, but I have to,” I whisper. I can’t make my voice work because now I’m crying.
He squeezes me tighter, and he drops a kiss on my cheek. “It’ll be okay, Lex. I’m right here for anything you need.”
“I know. And I love you.”
“I love you,” he says back to me, and his lips catch mine for a quick kiss that’s far too short.
He zips up the small suitcase, and Gregory is already waiting downstairs by the front door. Danny’s mom is standing near him, and she reaches out to pull me into a hug.
“My sweet girl. You check in with us when you get home, okay? It’s been the greatest pleasure in the world seeing you with my boy the last twenty-four hours, and I can’t wait until I get to see you again,” she says, only prompting the tears to fall harder.
I cling to her tightly for a beat, and the feeling is overwhelming as I realize it’s been eighteen years since a mother figure has hugged me this way.
“Thank you, Tracy,” I say softly.
Anna hugs me next. “We’ll miss you. Safe travels, and let us know when you’ve arrived, okay?”
I feel like we’re all avoiding the words Happy Thanksgiving. It doesn’t feel so happy right now since I have to leave this wonderful family to get back home to my own.
“Thank you all for such a wonderful day. I’m thankful I got to spend the holiday with you.” Even though I feel guilty that I wasn’t there celebrating it with my father.
Maybe that’s why I feel pressed to get back home to him. I should’ve been there, and the fact that I wasn’t makes me feel like a bad daughter.
Lying, sneaking around…this isn’t me. Or it wasn’t, anyway. Until I met Danny.
And that’s all my father will see if I tell him the truth.
If I even get that chance.
I hug everyone one last time, saving Danny for last.
He holds me a moment longer than is necessary, and I know I’ll call up the memory of this embrace in my hours of loneliness to come.
He kisses me softly, and then we head out to the car. We sit in the backseat together, and he tosses an arm around me and pulls me into his chest. He holds my hand, and we’re quiet back here as Gregory navigates toward the airport.
We head toward a private entrance where Gregory cuts the engine. Danny and I share one last kiss, and he leans his forehead to mine. “I love you, Lex. I’m here for whatever you need.”
Tears brim in my eyes. I can’t physically make myself say goodbye as I force myself out of the car and into the building without looking back.
Because I’m afraid if I look back, I won’t go. I’ll stay here with Danny in this place that suddenly feels like the warmest, most inviting home I’ve ever been to.
But my father needs me.