CHAPTER 2 DANNY
I went unrecognized in large thanks to the fact that we used the private entrance that I’m quite familiar with at this point, but also because I had a hoodie on and there really wasn’t anybody around when I slipped out of the back seat and into the front.
I drive away as if I’m not leaving an entire piece of myself in her hands.
I’m worried about her. It’s silly, I know. She’s an adult woman, but she’s scared because of whatever it is her father is going through, and I can’t be there with her by her side to help her navigate it.
I’ve never cared about navigating something with someone else.
There are so many firsts with her that I’ve started to lose count. But the most important first is the fact that I’ve fallen in love with her.
I want to be where she is.
That’s not possible—this I know. I dedicated my life to baseball long before I met her, just as she dedicated hers to her own talents.
We have completely separate lives in completely separate spheres, and while part of that is a good thing since we have our own likes and interests, that doesn’t make it any easier when we’re forced apart—whatever the reason.
All I know is that I don’t want to spend another second without her…and I just said goodbye to her at the airport.
It’s not fair that I can’t be by her side to hold her hand as the nerves of waiting rack her during the short flight back to LA.
It’s not fair that I can’t walk into her father’s hospital room with her, that I can’t be there by her side to comfort her for whatever news she’s about to face.
And I don’t blame her for going to him. Perhaps they have a difference of opinion when it comes to her career, but he’s her only surviving parent. She should be there, just as I’d be there for my mother if the roles were reversed.
But knowing she’s suffering, crippled with fear because she has no idea what she’s walking into, and I can’t be there for her…it’s a tough form of suffering in my own right, too.
I head home in the rental car that I’ll drop off sometime tomorrow, and when I get there, the house is quiet.
“Where is everybody?” I ask my mother when I find her on my couch reading a book.
“Anna and Rush are upstairs reading bedtime books to the boys. You okay?”
“Anna and Rush?” I repeat. Part of me wants him to go. Part of me wants this just to be family. But part of me wonders whether he will become a part of this family, and I don’t really hate that thought as much as I thought I would. “Good for those two. And yeah…I’m okay.”
“Come here,” she says, holding her arms open as she sets the book down, and I sit beside her on the couch and rest my head on her shoulder.
She leans over and presses an awkward kiss to the top of my head. “I can tell how much you like her, Danny. I’m really happy for you.”
“It’s more than like, Mom.”
“I know, honey. And it’s clear she feels the same for you.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.” She pats my leg. “And she’s…well, she’s perfect for you. She’s kind and silly and fun. She’s smart and so, so talented. She’s sweet and seems like she keeps herself out of trouble.”
“She does.” Except for, you know, getting high with me the other night, a fact which I omit to my mother despite being two years from thirty.
“And she is all those things.” I love how she didn’t call on her beauty first. At all, actually.
Anyone can see she’s a gorgeous girl, but it’s what’s inside that I’ve fallen for.
Head over fucking feet.
Or whatever the phrase is.
“What about you and Magnum PI?” I ask as I sit up. I glance over at her, and her brows are knit together.
“Who?”
“Gregory.”
I swear I see a tinge of pink color her cheeks.
“What about him? He seems like a nice man who has a very important job that he takes quite seriously.”
“I don’t know if anyone has ever called him a nice man before,” I tease.
“Well, he was nice to me.”
“How nice are we talking?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.
“Daniel James!” she scolds, picking up the pillow next to her and hitting me with it in the chest.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for my mama,” I protest with a laugh.
“Well your mama appreciates that, but really, it was nothing. Just one little kiss—” She cuts herself off as her eyes widen, and she slaps a hand over her mouth.
“Mother! What did you just say?” My own eyes widen as I sit up straighter.
“I’m totally teasing you, Danny. But you should’ve seen your reaction just then. Quite comical.” She laughs at her own joke.
I shoot her a glare. “That wasn’t very nice.”
“Neither is teasing your mother about your girlfriend’s good-looking bodyguard.” She lifts a shoulder.
“Fine. My deepest apologies. But really, have you ever, you know…thought about dating?”
“I have dated, honey. But the pool isn’t quite as full when you get to a certain age, and there aren’t a whole lot of options open.
And your girlfriend’s bodyguard? I wouldn’t want to get involved with someone who’s involved with someone close to you.
It’s too messy. Too complicated. And besides, he’s lost a lot in his life, and I don’t even know that he’s interested in getting back into things. ”
“All I really heard you say just then is that you’re interested and you want me to find out for you.”
She yanks the pillow she threw at me out of my arms where I’m clutching it and smacks me with it again. “Don’t you dare,” she hisses.
I laugh, and I’m still laughing when Rush and Anna come down the stairs without the boys.
“The boys asleep?” my mom asks, and Anna nods.
My mom heads up to bed, and Anna goes up to her room for a while to check some emails related to projects back home, giving Rush and me a few minutes alone.
“Beer?” I ask, and he nods.
We each crack one open and head out to my patio, where we slide into chairs and tap cans in a toast to nothing other than drinking a beer.
“You okay, man?” he asks.
I nod. “As okay as I can be given the strangeness of it all. The secrets, the lying, not being able to be there for her.”
He presses his lips together as he nods. “Listen, as someone who knows what it’s like to keep a secret and be stuck in one place when you want to be somewhere else, I feel you.”
His words finally sink in, and I can’t help but wonder for the first time if it was me who kept him away from my sister. They got to know each other in secret without telling me, and now he’s having Thanksgiving dinner with us.
In all honesty, I feel like shit that I’m the one who kept them apart. Nobody has the right to do that to anybody else even though I did it unknowingly since it was their choice not to tell me.
Seven or eight months ago, would I have had a different reaction? Would I have told him he couldn’t be with her? Am I more understanding now because of Alexis?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
“Look, man. I’m sorry if I had a part in you two running around in secret even if I didn’t know I did. I’m sorry you kept shit from me. You shouldn’t have had to do that, and I promise to make things right,” I say.
He shrugs and shakes his head. “Water under the bridge. But if you really want to make things right, then don’t say no to what I want to ask you.” He tips his can to his lips.
My brows dip. “What do you want to ask me?”
He clears his throat, and his eyes dart around my yard before they land back on me. “I love your sister, man. I’m falling in love with those two little boys, too. She’s thinking about moving here to Vegas so we can give this a real shot.”
“Oh Jesus. I thought you were going to ask me for her hand in marriage,” I say.
He laughs. “Dude, we’ve only been seeing each other a few months. Her divorce isn’t final yet, and talk of marriage hasn’t entered the equation. I don’t even know if she wants that again for herself, anyway.”
“Do you want that?” I ask.
He lifts a shoulder. “More now than I ever did in the past. You?”
“Same. Actually…” I trail off. I haven’t told anybody what I’ve been thinking, and maybe it’ll help to talk it out before I make any major moves.
“Actually…what?” he presses.
“Her dad wants her to go through with the wedding to Brooks. I got to thinking, what if I married her first? Then she couldn’t do it.” I chug the rest of my beer after the words leave my mouth.
His brows shoot up. “You serious, man?”
I nod. “Dead serious. I discovered there are confidential marriage licenses available in California to keep it fully secret. Other states have them, too. So we could quietly get married, and then she wouldn’t be able to marry Brooks.”
“Wow, you even did research? So you really are serious. Would she agree to it?”
I press my lips together. “I don’t know. I haven’t brought it up to her, but I know things with her father were already tense, and now this health scare…who knows how it’s going to affect things.”
As it turns out, it affects far more than I ever imagined it would.