7. Astor #3
What would I even say to him after the confrontation yesterday? I’m lucky my bodyguards didn’t notice. The last thing I need is them reporting this psycho back to my father or uncle. Let alone my cousins noticing and asking questions.
Better if he doesn’t.
More reason for me to leave.
But the longer I’m kept in my cousin’s clutches, the more I watch Rurik and the more annoyed I get.
He’s magnetic, drawing men and women to him, and he smiles at them like he does me. They’re draped all over him, practically begging for his attention. What started as me torturing him has turned back on myself.
Is this an act he puts on for everyone?
I get it now. I’m no more than a conquest to him.
And that makes me angrier. I have no interest in dating anyone.
And he clearly has people falling all over themselves for him, so he doesn’t need my attention.
He could just leave me alone. He was probably in bed with one of them, which is why he didn’t show up this morning.
One of the girls, Samantha, I think, puts her hand on my chest and leans in to talk to me. I barely keep myself from recoiling. I hate when people touch me. But it’s not exactly polite to act disgusted in a group like this so I smile and indulge her while my skin crawls.
I feel his gaze boring into me. I chance a glance and swear I feel his growl across the room. There’s fire in his eyes, and he’s not even trying to hide his displeasure.
Am I causing it?
I like it and have to fight a smile. The elation warms my chest. It’ll do him good to have a taste of his own medicine.
I slide my hand around Samantha’s back, drawing her closer like I’ve seen Finn do so many times over the years.
She giggles, very drunk, stumbling forward until she’s pressed against me. “Oops.” She doesn’t try to move away, letting me support most of her weight.
I tsk. “How are you going to walk home like this?”
She puts her lips next to my ear. “You’ll have to walk me home, won’t you?”
It’s a clear invitation. My stomach twists, but I casually look for Rurik’s reaction.
He’s openly staring, somehow even angrier than he was moments ago.
His knuckles are white around the fifth he’s holding.
I watch him as I rub my cheek against hers, sliding my hand lower to grip her arse.
Her tiny dress rides up her thighs and my fingers find bare skin by accident.
Glass explodes in Rurik’s hand, drenching him. He’s bleeding, but he doesn’t react. He just keeps glaring at me. Everyone around him freaks out, shrieking and grabbing his hand.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
His friend shoves him and his back hits the wall, but he doesn’t break eye contact with me. I smile at him, feeling like I’ve won something here. Prick deserves it. Rurik is dragged off to deal with his hand while someone else makes a half-arsed-attempt to clean up the glass.
I’m deflated, and I don’t know why. I won the encounter. I made him jealous, but now I’m hollow. I need to leave. The need to leave re-surges, and I only make it another twenty minutes fighting Samantha’s advances before I create an excuse to go to the restroom.
I get inside and lock the door and look at myself in the mirror.
Her lipstick is smeared near my ear. I hate it.
I feel bad for using her and ditching her, but it’s better than fucking her, right?
I don’t know. If that’s what she wants, good for her, but it can’t be me.
Surely she’ll find another guy to give her what she wants.
I need to get back to my regulation. The walls inch towards me, and everybody in the frat house feels like another weight on my chest.
It isn’t even a question. I can’t stay another moment.
My heart pounds faster and faster drowning out all other sound while I search for an exit. All the space around me is drained of oxygen and the noise in my head gets worse.
Finally I shove through a door finding the chilly night air.
I suck in lungful after lungful of it. I’ve no clue where my bodyguards are with the car.
I can’t look for them. I need to get back to my space.
It’s across campus but only like a twenty or thirty-minute walk.
Better freezing to death than taking a moment to look for the car.
My bodyguards will probably assume I went home with someone like my cousin. It’s not a big deal. And if it is, I don’t care. My nervous system is fried. I can’t focus on anything. The walk might help me ground myself.
Before I’ve even fully decided, I’m walking in the direction of my apartment.
I’m mostly calm by the time I get there.
I get inside and just exist. My world works itself back into order. Order I regulate. I take the stairs to the second floor. Thankfully, my cousins are still out, and I don’t meet a soul.
I’ve convinced myself all is fine as I flip on my light. I can get through anything after the life I’ve lived. All is in order.
The back of my neck prickles. My room is off.
I freeze my body, always knowing I’m in danger before my brain registers.
I turn and gasp.
It’s not who I expect to be in my room.