41. Astor #2
I hate him. I realize it then and there.
Not for what he’s done to me. Not for trading my life for the luxury my brother would bring to his.
Not even for the nightmares I’ve suffered with since I woke up with Mikel in my bed.
I hate him because he broke me, and the people I care about have to deal with the aftermath of the scars I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
He’s hurt Rainier, and Frederik, and Viv, and Finn, and maybe most of all Rurik.
I’ll never forgive my father for that.
“I want you to tell me the truth.” I look my father in the eyes. “You sold me to Mikel?”
“It’s not—” His words cut off into a scream as Rurik leans over and cuts a part of his ear off.
“He didn’t ask for excuses. Answer the question or I’m gonna cut pieces of you off until you do.” Rurik threw the bloody piece of ear in his face. “Now answer the fucking question and don’t lie to me.”
It probably reflects poorly on me, but I find Rurik hotter witnessing this side of him. I desperately need to see a therapist.
“I would never sell—”
Rurik swiftly hacks off the tip of his nose. Father screams and thrashes but can’t move far with his neck secured like it is.
Rurik twirls the knife between his fingers. “Next time it’ll be your dick.”
“I guess, in a sense, what I did could be seen as—” He hollers and cowers back when Rurik leans towards his dick. “Yes. I offered you to Mikel in exchange for his help.”
My insides twist. I knew it was true but hearing it makes reality crash into me like a wave.
“Do you think I would have ever forgiven you if Astor went missing?” Rainier steps forward. “How are you going to kill him?” He turns to Rurik.
“Slowly.” Rurik draws out the word.
“Good. I want him to suffer in equal time to what Astor has endured, but since we don’t have years, I hope you can at least make his final hours as excruciating as possible.” Rainier sounds like a king and I know he’ll be a great one someday.
“I’m also of the opinion he should suffer in equal measure.” Frederik’s lip curls as he looks at father. “If I could dedicate the rest of my life to making you suffer it wouldn’t be enough.”
We leave them to it, Frederik insisting it’s better to keep our hands clean and have at least some deniability. Since I don’t particularly want to see anyone murdered, even him, I don’t object.
We decide to walk the couple of miles back to the palace as the sun is coming up and the exercise would benefit us all.
Levi returns with the Range Rover a short time later.
Frederik checks his watch. “Rather quick.”
“It got pretty gruesome and he kept passing out. Rurik got tired of reviving him.” Levi’s mouth ticked up with amusement.
“Fair enough, I probably would have as well.”
“I’m going to go finish cleaning up the scene unless you need anything else.”
“No, thank you, Levi.”
“How new is Levi?” I ask at a break in the conversation.
“He came on soon after you left. Came highly recommended and he’s been fabulous. What do you think?” Frederik smiles thoughtfully
“I like him.”
“I think I’ll keep him.” It seems like there is more he wants to say but I don’t press him.
I’m going to have to ask Rainier about it later.
Rurik waltzes in sans apron and shoe covers whistling, a short while later. He sits next to me and joins in the conversation like he didn’t just murder someone. I should probably be worried but after the last couple of weeks it’s nice to have one less thing to worry about.
“Speaking of keeping people around…” Rurik wears one of his I know he’s going to be an idiot smiles. “Hypothetically, to save me a trip, would now be a good time to ask you for your permission to ask Ash to marry me? Too soon? I’m just gauging how that would go.”
Did he really just… After killing… To my fucking uncle? I can’t with him.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Not a day after you’ve meet him while you’re still wearing my dad’s blood.”
He glances down. “Did I get some on me?”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this with blood on you. I need another drink. Or some hard drugs.” I stand but get a little light headed.
Rurik is on his feet before I even wobble, grabbing ahold of me.
Frederik raises a brow but doesn’t comment, instead like any good public figure he redirects. “I think we’re all in need of a change in scenery. It’s about time we see what Thomas is preparing for breakfast. I need to tell him we have guests. What do you say?”
“Mind if I shower? I don’t think Ash wants any of this in his breakfast.” Rurik gestures at himself.
“Yes, where are my manners? Astor, I presume Rurik will be staying with you in the East wing? I can have another room made up and ring for one of the butlers, but considering the state of him…”
“Don’t worry, I got it.” I need a break from all of this. I want to ask him what happened, but I’m not sure how or what I’m feeling. It’s not sadness exactly. I’m fucking relieved, but that also feels wrong. Maybe I just want to sleep for a week and forget everything.
Frederik glances at the lot of us. “Why don’t I tell Thomas to make it brunch and everyone can go sleep for a few hours. It’s been a long night.”
We all agree that’s best and I take Rurik to my room while my uncle and brother summon a few butlers to make up rooms for the other guests.
I barely hold off until Rurik has showered before I collapse into him.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s almost over, baby. I promise. I’m never letting anyone hurt you again.”
“I hate that I have feelings about it,” I admit, burying my face in his chest.
“You learn to survive even what you think you cannot.” He kisses the top of my head. “We’ll get through it together.”