25. Deke
Deke came to consciousness like a diver resurfacing, each sense coming on board one at a time as he ascended. He was on the bed, his body slick with perspiration, his hair sticking to his forehead. He was panting, his hands gripping Ollie’s narrow waist hard enough to bruise, guiding him as he rode him, the deliciously tight drag of his walls pulling a filthy moan from Deke.
The air was thick with their combined scents, making it harder to pull himself from his stupor. What time was it? What day was it? Was his rut almost over? It didn’t feel like it. He still wanted to crawl inside Ollie’s body and live there. He still wanted to mark him inside and out so the world knew who he belonged to. He still felt unsatisfied, like he needed to breed his mate again.
Deke’s amber and bergamot and Ollie’s ink and paper made him feel high. It reminded him of something ancient and sacred, like first edition books at the back of an old library or the acrid perfume of incense in a new age bookstore. When combined with the heady smells of sweat and cum, the effect was dizzying. It unlocked something feral in Deke, made him want to sink his claws in, feel his mate’s skin give beneath them. So, he did, growling in satisfaction when Ollie cried out in pain, even though his rhythm never faltered.
Slick sounds and slapping skin filled the room, punctuated by Ollie’s frustrated grunts as he bounced on Deke’s cock, clearly not getting what he needed. When Deke stilled Ollie’s hips, his own nails raked down Deke’s chest, leaving a sharp sting in their wake as he squirmed in his grasp, whining pitifully.
Deke never thought of himself as a sadist, but Ollie’s distress was like a drug. Knowing he controlled when and how his mate got off filled him with a sick sense of power. Ollie was his to do with as he pleased, his to play with however he wanted. And he wanted so many things from him.
“What’s wrong, beta?” he taunted, finally forcing his eyes open. “Need something?”
He gripped Ollie’s hips tighter as he took him in, pride and horror warring within him. Ollie’s body was a war zone, a crime scene. Deep bites and fingerprint-shaped bruises marred much of his skin. There was a cut on his lip and a chain of bruises around his neck. Deke’s cock throbbed as he followed the trail of teeth marks like breadcrumbs. Ollie’s shoulder, his chest, his ribs, even both hips. Had he marked his thighs well, too? Would they scar? Betas didn’t heal like alphas did. It still wasn’t enough.
“Alpha…” Ollie slurred, gazing down at him with a reverence that made Deke’s teeth ache to bite him again. The beta’s pupils were blown wide, completely fucked out, his skin damp, lube and cum leaking from his stuffed hole, dripping down Deke’s balls. “Need you. Need your knot. Please. Please. Please. I can’t do it. Won’t fit without you. Need you to put it in me.”
His last plea was a sob as he tried to ground himself down onto Deke like he might then understand his desperation. He didn’t understand. Not really. There was a tug-of-war going on in his head, two wolves warring inside of him, fighting for control. And one was clearly winning. The wrong one.
Deke was trying to cling to his humane side, his reasonable side, but the longer he looked at Ollie, smelled his scent, fucked into his body, the harder it was to think about anyone’s needs but his own. It was so confusing. His brothers had always described their ruts as riding shotgun while their alpha drove. They were fully aware but too far gone to make good choices. But Deke’s alpha hadn’t just taken the wheel, he’d tied Deke up and thrown him in the trunk. He barely remembered anything past their first time, and even his alpha wasn’t ready to give up control.
Alpha.
Your knot.
Take him. Breed him. Use him. Mark him up. He’s unclaimed. Anyone could take him from you. Claim him before he leaves you and takes your pups.Deke growled. His alpha didn’t seem to grasp the impossibility of Ollie carrying his pups, but the thought was a fist to the stomach anyway.
His pretty beta looked down at him with damp eyes, expression desolate. “Alpha, please. I’m already begging. What more do you want?”
Your complete surrender. Your total domination. For you to belong to me in every conceivable way.
Deke could feel the wave rolling in, threatening to suck him back under again. He didn’t want to miss this. Ollie looked so fucking hot like this, all whiny and needy. No wonder his alpha was confused. Who wouldn’t be?
“Alpha,” Ollie tried again, desperately trying to free himself of Deke’s grip, hoping to get him deeper inside.
Who was he to deny his mate?
He didn’t release Ollie, just planted his feet so he could drive up into him hard and fast, his knot already swollen enough to catch on Ollie’s rim, making him bite his lip as his expressions went from pain to pleasure with every thrust.
“You’re so fucking wet. I can feel my cum leaking out of you. I’m going to plug you up next time, stuff you so full your belly swells even more,” he heard himself growl, staring at Ollie’s rounded tummy, pleasure lancing through him at the picture forming in his mind.
Ollie keened, high and broken, reaching for his neglected cock, flushed and leaking copious amounts of pre-cum.
“Don’t touch,” Deke ordered, hips snapping, forcing himself impossibly deep, carving a place for himself in his mate’s body, eyes rolling at the way the beta’s walls squeezed each time he clenched down. “So greedy. And you think you deserve my knot? Good little sluts don’t touch themselves without permission,” Deke taunted.
Ollie’s tears were flowing freely, his head tipped back, mouth hanging open. “I need it…need you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. I’m so empty.”
Deke growled, pumping harder into his sloppy hole. He wanted to tell him it was okay, that he was good, he was perfect, the best thing that ever happened to him. But his alpha had rendered him mute, a passenger in every way. But at least he could see, at least he could watch as his alpha turned his logical, practical, stoic mate into this creature made entirely of need.
Ollie keened as Deke flipped him onto his back, sitting up just enough to catch Ollie’s knees over his elbows, practically bending him in half as he pounded into him with purpose. He was hitting the point of no return. He needed to breed him again soon. It was the only way to burn off some of the rage and aggression bubbling in his belly.
Saliva leaked from Ollie’s mouth, his eyes rolling like he was possessed, every thrust forcing a half-bitten cry from him. Hot tears trailed down his cheeks. Deke leaned down and licked them away, the taste salt sharp on his tongue. It wasn’t enough. Even this wasn’t enough. No matter how much he touched or marked or tasted, it wasn’t enough. His gums ached with the need to bite into his mate, to feel his skin give beneath his teeth, to feel his blood explode on his tongue, to drink him like a sacrament.
He was so beautiful, so desperate, crying for his pups like some knot-drunk little bitch. It made him feral. He bit at Ollie’s jaw, nipped at his lips, fought the urge to consume him, body and soul. Ollie was so vulnerable like this, so weak, totally at Deke’s mercy. His alpha had only one thought.
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
Ollie was his, just his. He belonged to Deke. Binnie said they were destined to be together, destined to be mates. Loch had said it, too. He’d said, “Ollie is your mate, I know it.” Loch was the pack alpha. Wasn’t that as good as a binding contract? Didn’t that mean he could make Ollie his in every way?
Ollie’s nails clawed at Deke’s skin. “Please. So close.”
“What do you want?” he purred against his ear, halting his thrusts to slowly grind into him, delighting in the choked-off wail of frustration. “Tell alpha.”
Ollie’s pleas fell from his lips like prayers, his sobs catching in-between his words. “Fuck me. Breed me. Give me your knot, give me your pups. Please. I won’t touch. I promise. Please. Please.”
Deke’s hips moved of their own volition, fucking into the beta hard and fast once more, his swelling knot fucking past his rim again and again. Ollie’s face contorted in pain each time he breached him, and he bit down on his lip like he was trying not to cry harder. He was so hot, so wet, and still so fucking tight. Deke could barely think past the haze of euphoria bubbling up inside him. He wanted to breed his mate, wanted to give Ollie everything he wanted.
Ollie’s pained whimpers finally broke free. They were driving Deke mad. Ollie sounded so weak. He sounded like prey. He reached for his cock once more, but Deke growled in warning, snapping his teeth. This time, Ollie snapped back, teeth catching Deke’s cheek hard enough to break skin.
Deke dropped Ollie’s legs, grabbing his wrists in one hand, slamming his arms over his head, snarling in warning, letting his saliva spill from his lips into Ollie’s open mouth. The beta stilled with a whimper, averting his eyes and baring his throat.
Deke gave a low rumble of satisfaction, fucking into him with no finesse at all, knowing he only had a few more thrusts before they were tied. He heard himself talking but couldn’t stop the words, “You need your place. You know who you belong to. You’re mine. Mine to fuck. Mine to breed. I decide what you need. Your job is to lie there and take it like a good little bitch.”
Inside, Deke was dying, but Ollie’s cock drooled at his words. “Yes, yours. Yours, just yours,” he panted, voice hazy, eyes unfocused. “You’re going to knot me, right? Breed me? Put your babies in me? Make me yours?”
Deke snarled again, teeth sinking into Ollie’s shoulder. “You’re already mine. Keep talking like that and I will claim you.”
Ollie nodded frantically. “Do it. Mate me. Claim me. If I’m yours, then do it. Do it now. Please. Knot me and claim me.”
Deke growled as he drove home one final time, his knot locking into place, tying them together. He didn’t even know his teeth sank into Ollie’s scent gland until the taste of copper pennies coated his tongue. He shouted as Ollie’s jaw snapped shut on his throat, biting down, sealing their bond in blood.
The connection lit up, euphoria barreling into Deke like a tidal wave, knocking him down and sucking him under. He came instantly, pumping his release into Ollie’s already full insides, triggering his own release as he spilled untouched between them.
Deke collapsed on top of him, both sucking in much-needed breaths. He shifted slightly, his knot tugging on Ollie’s rim, earning a pained whine from the beta. This was a terrible position to be stuck in, especially for Ollie. He lifted his legs, wrapping them around Deke’s waist. It wasn’t much but it at least angled his hips to ease the pressure a bit.
Deke nuzzled at Ollie’s throat, rubbed his cheek along his neck, whatever part he could reach, scenting him. Ollie contented himself with licking over Deke’s wound, a steady rhythmic rumble coming from deep within the beta’s chest.
Was Ollie…purring?
When Deke woke again, there was no fog, no confusion, only Ollie beneath him and the knife-sharp realization that his alpha had rolled through him like a violent storm, leaving a trail of ruin in his wake. He didn’t want to open his eyes. If he didn’t look, he could languish in his delusion a bit longer. If he didn’t look, he wouldn’t see the damage he’d caused to the one person he was supposed to protect above all others.
But even without sight, he could smell the iron of Ollie’s blood, could taste the scent of sex still lingering in the air. Fuck it. He peeled his eyelids open, then cracked his neck painfully. Everything hurt. When he looked over Ollie’s battered body, a lump formed in his throat, his chest so tight it hurt to draw in a breath. He went hot as he imagined explaining what he’d done to the rest of his pack. Would they even let him stay? Would Ollie ever forgive him?
There were so many injuries he could barely catalog them all. He let his fingers trail gently over the bite mark on the beta’s scent gland, fighting back tears as he pushed into Deke’s touch, his own bite throbbing in response. The bond allowed him to feel everything Ollie did. The beta’s utter contentment should have eased his panic, but it only added to it.
Was Ollie still in the throes of whatever biological shitstorm had caused the two of them to claim each other? Deke’s head throbbed, his body ached. It was like he’d just woken up from a drunken night in Vegas to find he’d married his crush. Except, there was no divorce. They were now bonded together. For life.
His alpha had completely obliterated Ollie’s free will…violated his bodily autonomy…assaulted him. His alpha was a fucking monster. Deke needed to talk to Loch, find out how to cage him forever so he could never hurt Ollie again. If they let him stay. He’d be lucky if all they did was kick him out. They could have him arrested. Ollie could file charges if he didn’t believe Deke when he said he’d had no control. Was that even an excuse?
He pressed his fist to his mouth so he didn’t release the sob building in his chest. Fuck. He slipped free from Ollie’s body, earning a sad sound, then escaped to the bathroom. As soon as he was inside, he crouched into a squat, covering his face, making himself as small as he could. What did I do? He was only twenty-two years old. Twenty-two and mated for life to someone who was going to hate him when he woke up. He swiped angrily at his tears.
He gave himself five minutes to wallow, to cry, to rail against the injustice of the world they lived in and the body that had betrayed him. Then he stood, pushing the stopper into the large soaking tub and turning on the water, watching as it filled. After he tested the temperature, he returned to their bedroom, picking up Ollie bridal style, his heart kicking when the beta’s head just lolled against his chest, body totally limp.
He stepped into the scalding water with Ollie, settling him between his legs to support his weight while he washed him. Ollie didn’t even stir. If it wasn’t for his rhythmic breathing and healthy, sated scent, Deke would think something was truly wrong with him. He was likely exhausted from days of Deke using him for his own selfish pleasure.
He dragged the washcloth over the skin he could reach, being as gentle as possible as he passed over the fresh wounds. After a cursory wipe down, he drained the whole tub and refilled it with clean water before awkwardly washing the beta’s hair. Deke managed to get himself clean as well, though with great difficulty. He even managed to wash his hair. In retrospect, maybe he should have showered first, then grabbed Ollie, so he could have focused solely on him, but it was too late for that.
Once they were both relatively clean, he leaned back in the tub, his eyes falling shut, letting the warm water dull the ache in his muscles. Everything hurt everywhere, like he’d somehow simultaneously sprained every muscle in his body at once. How did some people go through a rut every couple of months?
Ollie’s body suddenly stiffened against him. “Deke?” he croaked, voice wrecked.
Deke’s heart rate skyrocketed, but he tried to sound calm. “Yeah,” he murmured. “It’s just me.”
Ollie melted back against him with a sigh that made Deke warm all over. “What time is it? What day is it?”
“I don’t know, I forgot to look. I thought getting us clean was the most pressing matter,” he admitted. “This is the first time I’ve felt like myself in a while. Are you…are you okay?”
Ollie laughed softly, so hoarse his words faded in places like he was losing signal as he said, “If I’m being completely honest, I feel a little like I got hit by a cement truck.”
Deke returned his laugh half-heartedly. “If I’m being completely honest, you look like you’ve been hit by one, too.”
Ollie huffed a silent laugh, his head rolling back and forth on Deke’s chest, his wet hair cold against his warm skin, grounding him. Ollie captured his hands, threading their fingers together and squeezing. “You smell really upset. Did…did I do something wrong? Did you not like it? Did things not go well?”
“I don’t know which of those to answer first,” Deke admitted, feeling close to tears again. “No, that’s not true. I do know where to start. You did nothing wrong. I don’t remember much, but I’m going to say I more than liked it. As for the last one…I don’t know how to answer that. I am really upset. You will be, too, when you see yourself.”
Ollie scoffed. “It can’t be that bad,” he rasped.
Deke didn’t say anything, too worried he might start sobbing again. Instead, he just let Ollie lay against him, thumbs stroking soothingly over the back of Deke’s hands, a comfort he didn’t deserve.
Finally, Ollie said, “I’m cold. I’m gonna get out, okay?”
“Mm,” Deke acknowledged, watching as Ollie stood, taking in the hickeys and bite marks on his back, his ass, his thighs, even the backs of his knees. There were half-moon indentations on each of Ollie’s ass cheeks from Deke’s short fingernails digging in. A wave of pure lust shot through him as a memory floated to the surface—Deke on his knees behind Ollie, his ass in the air, Deke gripping the flesh tight enough to leave permanent marks as he fucked into him.
He tried to shake the thought away but Ollie turned, smirking at him. This stupid bond was dangerous. He couldn’t see what he was thinking but he could feel his reaction to the thought. Once Ollie was on the bathmat, Deke stood and stepped free, grabbing two towels and handing one to Ollie, then wrapping the other around his hips.
When he looked up, Ollie was gaping at himself in the mirror, his hand hovering over his scent gland. “Is that…”
“Yeah,” Deke whispered.
“We…”
Deke swallowed painfully. “Yeah.”
Their gaze met briefly in the reflection before Ollie’s dropped to Deke’s torso, wincing. “Did I do that to you?”
Deke looked at himself fully in the mirror, brows going up when he saw the scratches all over his chest and belly, the mouth-shaped bruises that littered his body. “I am honestly not sure. I don’t… I don’t remember much. Do you?”
Ollie flushed, fussing with his towel, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth for a full minute. “Only a little,” he lied.
Deke let him have his privacy. He’d already violated him in a million other ways. If Ollie didn’t want to share his memories of what was probably the worst experience of his life, who was he to push? He closed his eyes, trying to rein in his emotions, knowing the bond left them wide open to each other’s moods and senses.
Deke shivered as Ollie ghosted his fingertips over his own mating bite, causing a stir in his, raising goosebumps along his skin. He shivered at the sensation.
When he opened his eyes, Ollie was staring at him in the mirror, fingertips still touching the mating mark. “Maybe I’m naive, but I truly didn’t see this coming.”
“Me neither,” Deke said, waiting for Ollie to explode on him, to scream and yell and tell him he ruined his life.
When the silence grew awkward, Ollie opened the bedroom door, then recoiled, taking a step back. “Damn, it stinks in here.”
Deke snickered. He wasn’t wrong. They opened the two windows, only then realizing it was raining outside. The heavy downpour was like white noise, soothing Deke’s frayed edges. His gaze followed the beta as he went to his dresser and pulled out clothes from the bottom drawer. He handed Deke a pair of black joggers with a white stripe down the side and a red t-shirt with a logo from a bar in Long Island. Ollie pulled on a pair of navy blue pajama bottoms and a green hoodie.
Deke didn’t think much of it until a thought stopped him in his tracks. “Wait,” he said. “Why are there clothes in the drawers? Weren’t you leaving? I saw your packed bag.”
Ollie shrugged, meeting his gaze. “Maybe I wasn’t planning on staying gone forever.”
Deke frowned, trying to make sense of his revelation. “Maybe?”
“Maybe,” Ollie mumbled.
Deke let that news swirl around him. “Oh.”
Ollie went to the closet and pulled out fresh sheets. Together, they stripped the bed, then remade it with clean linens. With the room aired out and the bed properly restored, they could almost pretend none of it had ever happened. Almost. Except for the mating bites that boldly sat where all the world could see.
“Should we…” Deke asked, pointing to the door.
He was sure the others would be happy to hear that Deke’s rut had ended. Still, when he thought about opening the door, letting the real world back in, his stomach churned. He looked at Ollie.
Ollie hesitated, then shook his head. Instead, he laid down on the bed, then patted the spot beside him. Deke crawled onto the bed, allowing Ollie to manhandle them until he was the little spoon, the beta’s hot breath puffing against the back of his neck, one arm thrown over his waist.
They laid there for what felt like hours before tears filled Deke’s eyes and he choked out, “I’m really sorry.”
Ollie hooked his chin on his shoulder, kissing his mating mark, tightening his grip around his middle. “Don’t be sorry. We’ll figure it out.”
“How are you so calm about this?” Deke cried.
“Do you…want me to be mad at you?” Ollie asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Deke flailed his hand. “No… Yes… Maybe? I ruined everything. I…trapped you.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. I was there, too,” Ollie soothed, rubbing his face against Deke’s scent gland in a way he found deliciously distracting.
“But I’m an alpha,” Deke said.
“And I’m not an omega. The only power you have over me is what I give you. Whatever happened between us, it’s not all on you.”
Deke wanted to argue. The Ollie from earlier did not seem like a beta in control of his own thoughts, feelings, and actions. He’d seemed drugged, controlled, completely enthralled by Deke’s douchebag alpha. But maybe Ollie had just really liked roleplaying a beta. Who was Deke to judge? He certainly liked hearing Ollie beg and plead for his knot, for his pups… Fuck…that had happened. Flashes of Ollie’s voice, high and desperate, begging for Deke to claim him, mate him…breed him. Would more memories resurface as time went on?
“You’re really not mad?” Deke asked, sniffling.
“I told you, I was there, too.”
Deke shook his head. “But I should have been more responsible.”
Ollie sighed, his hand circling again and again, lulling him.“Did you force me to bite you back?”
“No.”
“Did you use your alpha voice to compel me to do it?”
“No!” Deke gasped. “I wouldn’t do that.” Would he? “At least, I don’t think I would. Oh, God. What if I did?” he groaned. “I belong in jail.”
Ollie nosed along the back of his neck. “You’re being a little dramatic…alpha. We can’t unring a bell. Whatever your alpha did, my beta was clearly into. Truthfully, I wouldn’t be shocked to find that when we see our friends again, some will be in the same predicament.”
“You think?” Deke asked, a giddy feeling rolling over him.
Ollie scoffed. “Do you think Saint would give up the opportunity to wife up Seth? And if Fen gave Loch a chance, he’d take it. The only ones I can’t see taking the leap are Binnie and San. He has more walls than a prison.”
“You’re really not mad?” Deke heard himself ask.
Ollie scraped his teeth along the shell of Deke’s ear, making him shiver. “I don’t think I could ever be mad at you. I seem to have a bit of a soft spot when it comes to you. We’ll figure it out. And nobody is kicking you out of anything. I promise. Just let me…think about what we should do next. Okay?”
“Okay,” Deke said softly, feeling every bit of their age gap at that moment.
Ollie continued to press kisses into his skin—behind his ear, over his mating mark, beneath his jaw. Deke’s eyelids fluttered. The combination of his kisses and the soothing way he stroked his belly was making Deke a little dizzy and a lot horny. Ollie shifted, pressing his hips against Deke’s ass, letting him feel he was half-hard.
“You’re kind of getting me worked up,” Deke whispered, tilting his head to give Ollie more skin to touch and lick and kiss and suck.
“You want me to do something about that?” Ollie asked.
“Aren’t you sore?”
“I didn’t say I wanted you to fuck me,” Ollie teased, scraping his teeth over Deke’s scent gland, making his cock twitch and leak into his clean pants. “I could blow you. Or you could blow me… Or I could fuck you.”
Deke’s breath caught. “You’d…want that?”
“Do you want that?” Ollie countered, hand sliding into Deke’s sweats and wrapping around his cock, stroking him at a glacier pace designed to torment him.
“I—This isn’t at all how I saw this conversation going when I woke up,” Deke admitted, then bucked his hips up into Ollie’s loose fist.
“I’m just full of surprises,” Ollie teased. “What do you want, alpha?”
“Could you call me something else when I’m not…in rut. I kind of hate that guy.”
Ollie placed another sympathetic kiss on his clothed shoulder. “Sure, baby. We don’t have to do anything at all if you don’t want to.”
“No, I do. I do want to,” Deke said somehow more nervous than he’d ever been. He swallowed hard. Did it make him less of an alpha if he liked Deke coddling him, babying him, fucking him? After days of sharing a body with his alpha, Deke kind of liked how small he felt like this, how soft, how…weak. He wanted Ollie to do the thinking, make the decisions. He wanted Ollie inside him. He turned so that he was on his back. “Fuck me?”