5. Cohen
Cohen
Present day
Something shifted during that call with Ava, and I had no idea what.
She’d gone cold. Ended the call abruptly. And whatever the reason, it put me in a foul mood for the rest of the night.
“Hey, Jordan—you coming?” Beckham Stone, our third baseman, called, grabbing his hotel keycard from the dresser. His arm was already slung around Paige… I think that was her name. I honestly wasn’t sure.
I shook my head. “Nah. Not feeling it tonight. I’m turning in early.”
Beckham sighed dramatically. “Fatherhood has ruined you. I’ve officially lost my wingman.”
I chuckled as the tall blonde shot him a warning glare.
“I mean—when I used to need a wingman,” Beckham amended quickly.
She rolled her eyes and then turned to me, smiling softly. “Your daughter is adorable. And your wife is gorgeous.”
They were halfway out the door before I could correct her. And the most unsettling thought crossed my mind.
I didn’t want to.
I scrubbed a hand down my face. Fuck. I needed to get laid.
This was just attraction by proximity, right?
Natural biology. I’d watched Ava carry Ellie for nine months.
Watched her body change to grow this tiny, perfect human who was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
The perfect mix of her and me. I’d watched her strength and resilience when I'd stood by her through fourteen brutal hours of labor as she’d safely delivered my daughter to this world.
And now I watched Ava as a mother—fierce, protective, unshakable. She was unlike any woman I’d ever known… and that was the problem.
I couldn’t have her.
She’d made that clear from day one. Friendship only—the boundary she’d firmly secured into place.
I was just the Aviators’ resident playboy, who happened to show up.
And the irony? I hadn’t slept with anyone since Ava. I hadn't even tried. I was closing in on a year of celibacy, and it was driving me out of my goddamn mind.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have options. Please, I had a roster. I just didn’t want them. I wanted her. This was just the typical “you want what you can't have” thing. I was sure of it.
Plus, could I even handle anything serious? Probably not. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t at least have some fun. Clothing optional.
The idea of a relationship made my skin crawl. Not because I didn’t want one, as most people assumed, but because the more something mattered, the more it had the power to wreck you. Wanting something that badly felt reckless. And I didn’t do reckless. Not with things I couldn’t afford to lose.
I’d already learned that lesson once.
Instead of going out with the guys, I sat alone on the edge of the bed, nursing a beer and scrolling through my phone.
Photo after photo of Ellie.
And Ava.
Ava holding her. Ava laughing. Ava looking exhausted and radiant and real.
She was everything.
And everything always had a way of slipping through my fingers.
I got back late last night from a series in San Francisco. I’d played like shit and carried it with me all the way home. By morning, I decided I’d swing by to check on Ellie.
At least I told myself it was for Ellie. But I couldn't shake how Ava had ended our last conversation and the way she’d shut down.
I knocked softly.
Footsteps approached, and the door opened to reveal a tired-looking Ava with Ellie strapped snugly to her chest in some kind of fabric wrap. She stepped aside to let me in.
I hadn’t seen the place since she’d moved in a week ago.
It already felt like a home—warm, lived in.
The faint smell of baby powder and coffee lingered in the air, sunlight spilling across the hardwood floors from the tall windows.
I picked up one of the framed photos on the table.
It was the three of us in the hospital, right after Ellie was born.
Ava, exhausted but smiling, Ellie, swaddled between us like the tiniest human on the planet. I smiled and set it back down.
“Place looks good,” I said, glancing around the space. The couch was piled with throw pillows and soft blankets. Area rugs softened the hardwood floors. Pictures of her big family hung on the walls, and a stack of burp cloths, wipes, and onesies sat on the coffee table.
“Thanks.” Ava shifted her weight, gently bouncing Ellie, but I caught the slight wince she tried to hide.
“You okay?” I asked. “You look stressed.”
She sighed. “This is probably TMI, but you watched me give birth, so I think we’re past that.” She hesitated. “I think I have a clogged duct.”
I blinked. “A clogged… what?”
She gave me a look. “Duct. One of my breasts isn’t draining properly. It really hurts, and I’m worried it could turn into mastitis.”
“Ma-what?”
She rolled her eyes. “Never mind. I’ve tried everything I can find online, but nothing’s working. I don’t want to switch to formula yet, and I don’t think she’s getting enough. She’s been fussier.”
Her deep blue eyes went glossy, her composure cracking.
“Okay,” I said carefully. “What do we do? Is there a doctor who can help?”
“Well…” She paused, shaking her head like she was arguing with herself. “There is one thing I haven’t tried.”
“Then let’s try it,” I said immediately.
She exhaled. “Some women said their partner helped.”
I nodded, still not getting it. “Okay. How?”
She dropped her gaze. “I need you to… literally suck it out. To unclog it.”
I stared at her, wide-eyed. Trying and likely failing to hide my surprise. “You want me to suck on your tit?”
She nodded once. “You can do it with more force than a baby. It should work.”
Fuck. Me.
I hadn’t had sex in almost a year. And now I was supposed to just… casually put my mouth on her breast?
No big deal. Totally normal. Am I sweating?
Ava rushed on, clearly flustered. “I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t a last resort. It really hurts. Ugh, this is so embarrassing… I just—”
I held up a hand and took a breath, like the adult I was trying to be. “Okay. I’ll do it.” I paused. “But I’m not responsible if I get hard in the process," I joked—sort of.
I said adult I was trying to be.
She laughed, and the tension eased slightly. “No judgment here. You do realize you’ll taste breast milk, though, right? That freaks a lot of people out.”
“I’ll survive,” I said. “Isn’t it sweet or something?”
She groaned, a hand covering her face. “God. This is so weird.”
“Yeah, it is,” I teased. “Go put Ellie down. Let’s knock this out.”
She disappeared into the bedroom and came back quieter, more reserved than I’d ever seen her. I stood and took her hand, guiding her to the couch.
“Sit.” It came out more like a command. “I’ll kneel. It’ll be easier.”
She did, and the urge to say good girl was real. I shoved it aside.
Focus, Jordan. Stop thinking with your dick.
Ava pulled her tank top down first, then slipped her bra down, eyes fixed on anything but me. I caught her chin and forced her eyes to mine. "It's okay," I said softly. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't want to help."
She nodded, breath shaky.
Her breast looked engorged—too full. I cupped it carefully and took her nipple into my mouth, sucking firmly while massaging the tight, soft skin beneath my fingers.
What felt like eternity passed.
And then finally Ava's head fell back with a sigh of relief as my mouth filled with warm, faintly sweet milk. I pulled away and swallowed.
“That it?” I asked.
Her smile was radiant. “Yes. Oh my God. Thank you! It feels so much better!”
After slipping back into her bra and pulling her tank top back up, her hand cupped my jaw and stroked it softly.
I froze.
Her eyes dropped to my mouth, and then mine to hers. She leaned in slowly, brushing her mouth against mine—asking.
I answered. I'm a weak man, okay?
The kiss turned hungry fast. My tongue slid against hers. Her hands gripped my hair. Mine found her hips, her breasts, everywhere I’d been trying not to touch. My control slipped.
But can you blame a guy? It’s been a while.
“Cohen,” she whispered, breathless. “I need you.”
I hesitated. I should stop this. This was a spectacularly bad idea. She’d made it very clear the first time that this would never happen again.
“Are you sure? You just had a baby—” I didn't stop. I trailed kisses down her neck.
“I saw my doctor two weeks ago, I’m cleared,” she said quickly.
Thank you, Jesus! Relief hit hard.
I paused and pulled back. “Shit, I don’t have a condom,” I admitted.
She kissed down my neck. “I have an IUD.”
"I don't know what that is, but I assume it prevents pregnancy."
Ignoring me, Ava shoved my jeans down quickly and wrapped her fingers around my cock. "Fuck.” I sucked in a breath. “Easy, Trouble," I hissed.
She shoved me onto the couch, slid out of her panties, and straddled me, the skirt she was wearing still on.
“I’ve been so horny lately,” she murmured. “I need you to handle it,” she demanded.
And who am I to deny her?
I gripped her hips and guided her down my shaft, biting back a groan as she sank slowly.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.
How is she tighter than I remember?
She rolled her hips, smiling, my brain short-circuiting.
Holy hell, I needed this.
I dragged my mouth over her perfect tits, then tangled my fist in her long dark waves, pulling her head back just enough to make her gasp.
“You feel so good,” she breathed.
She rode me hard, unapologetic, and I barely held on. When I pressed my fingers to her clit, she shattered, her pussy clenching tightly around me and dragging me over the edge with her.
We both came embarrassingly fast.
Afterward, she collapsed onto my chest, breathless.
“Well,” I said finally, “that escalated quickly.”
She laughed softly. “Sorry. It's the hormones.”
After we cleaned ourselves up, Ava grabbed the monitor off the table. She looked up at me. “Do you mind staying here while I take a shower in case Ellie wakes up?”
I smirked, wrapped my hand around Ava’s wrist, and pulled her into my chest. I leaned down close to her ear. “Or I could join you.”
She shivered slightly before forcing out a small laugh. She placed her hand against my chest and gently pushed me back. “As incredible as that orgasm just was, I think we should stop while we’re ahead.”
Ouch.
I nodded, forcing a smile, trying to act unfazed. Her tone was flat, her walls visibly erecting between us. I shoved my hands into my pockets. “You’re right.” I took the monitor from her and sank down onto the couch. “You go shower. Take your time.” I held the monitor up. “I’ve got her.”
Something unreadable crossed Ava’s face, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.
“I—I’m sorry, Cohen. I shouldn’t have crossed the line.
It was a mistake. My hormones are just wild right now, and I wasn’t thinking.
It was a slip-up. I don’t want to make our situation any more complicated. I swear I won’t do that again. I…”
Her brows pinched together, blue eyes searching mine.
A mistake. Our situation.
Yeah, that sits real well.
If that was a mistake, I wanted to make a few more.
I held up my hand to stop her, my jaw clenched tight. “No apology needed. Seriously. It’s all good. Would it make you feel better if we just pretend this never happened?”
Even though it’ll likely play on repeat in my head for the foreseeable future.
Ava’s shoulders dropped, relief flooding her face. “That would be amazing.” She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “Okay, I’m going to go shower now. I’ll be out shortly.”
I nodded as she spun on her heel and padded down the hall toward her bathroom.
I glanced down at Ellie on the monitor, sleeping soundly. The sight of her immediately eased the tension in my jaw.
“Your mommy is pissing me off,” I muttered softly to the screen, “but you’re totally worth the headache.”
Because if I was being honest, my ego felt a little bruised. Women didn’t usually turn me down for round two.