Chapter 14 #2
I have a ton of questions for this hulking man, so many I’m having trouble sorting through them, but they’ll have to wait. Exhaustion is setting in and something is telling me I’d lose any fight I put up against Rune.
That’s exactly why I just close my eyes and don’t even bother.
RUNE
Stupid.
So fucking stupid.
We were almost too late. I was almost too late.
I’ve been searching for her for fifteen goddamn years, I finally find her and the one time I leave, both of my omegas are taken.
Taken.
Violated.
Almost killed.
Sharpening my knife a little faster, each strike of the blade against the stone makes me angrier and I scowl at that thought.
I should have done more, I should have acted faster.
I should have just hot wired that fucking truck the second night at that campground while they were sleeping and taken my omegas far away.
I wouldn’t ruin Olive’s plans, I’d never do that, but I’d take her and Nikolai to a more secure place, somewhere no one knows so they’d be safer.
Where no one could fucking take them away and do terrible things to their perfect bodies.
Where not one living thing could even try to crush their beautiful spirits.
I was too late, and I failed them.
You’re just a stupid fucking meathead who can’t do anything right.
My hand slips as that voice echoes through my head, the serrated edge of the knife tearing into my thumb and getting stuck in the meaty part of the pad.
I pause as I watch blood rush over the top of the blade while it pools underneath, a thick stream running along the edge of the knife before dripping onto my boot.
I deserve that.
To bleed for my omegas.
I’d cut myself open and let my veins run fucking dry for them.
That’s what I should do after failing them.
Plucking the knife out of my thumb, I look over the wound after I set down the stone. I bend my fingers, pressing against the tip just above the cut so the dark red liquid runs faster.
This is going to need a stitch or two.
I stab my knife into the tree stump next to the stairs and scrub my hand over my face.
It felt like it was time to confront Olive. To go to her, to finally put myself in front of her and tell her all my secrets. Watching her while she was at that shelter was hard but I knew it’s where she needed to be. It was even harder when I found out why she was there.
I tracked her to Thief River Falls and I watched her burn down that house and bury those men.
None of it made sense to me, all I could do was focus on her wounds and battle the urge to take care of her.
If I’d have gone to her then, someone my size who looks like me, I’m not sure how she would have reacted. So, I silently kept watch.
Then I followed her to that shelter.
It was a relief that she went in there, that there was somewhere safe she could go and heal but I knew it made her even more off limits than she was while I was trying to find her.
That kind of safety is needed. It’s sacred but fragile. Disrupting it in any way was never an option and it was hard waiting but at least I knew where Olive was. I could live with that.
Especially since it brought her to Nikolai.
I knew he was mine the same way I knew she was.
It was instant. One hint of his scent on the wind and my knot ached. There was no room for doubt. I matched with him just as violently as I matched with Olive.
When I saw him get into the RV and he didn’t come back out, it felt like another sign that it was finally time to take what was mine. What’s been mine for fifteen goddamn years.
Then I let something horrific happen to my omegas and I don’t deserve them because of that.
I shake my head as I push off of the step and get to my feet.
That’s what they’ll tell me.
Olive thanked me but that doesn’t mean anything. When she finds out I wasn’t there to stop those bastards from taking them, she won’t be so grateful anymore.
I look out into the trees, staring into the forest under the early morning sun, scanning our surroundings before I stick the index finger and thumb from my other hand in my mouth and give a short, loud whistle.
Within seconds, all three of my dogs are running through the tree line and coming straight for the RV, and I almost laugh when I see Cy carrying a big ass branch with him. Despite the fact that they’re all about the same age and extremely lethal, he’s the one who still has the most puppy in him.
My dogs stop in front of me and Cy drops his branch, sitting in unison while they look up at me with happy expressions.
“In or out?” I ask quietly, my eyes shifting between them as I wait for the obvious answer.
Bee gets to her feet and gives me a low chuff, her tail wagging as she sits back down.
“Outside it is.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a treat for each of them, rewarding my pups for being exactly who they are. “Keep watch. Relax. Let me know when you’re ready to come in.”
All three respond the same way; a low chuff that ends on a playful growl.
I’m sure most pet owners talk to their animals.
I’ve seen it plenty of times at pet stores or the rare occasion I’m around other people at dog parks.
But I doubt they talk to their pets the way I talk to my dogs.
Then again, I have nothing to compare it to, it just feels like I have a different relationship with mine than most. And I doubt most animals are as smart as these three, either.
I watch them get situated, Cy taking first watch as Bee and Rus sprawl out in sun spots on either side of the doorway. They like having work to do and I can tell they feel good about protecting my omegas.
Our pack.
It’s like they know I’m not just their alpha anymore. I belong to Olive and Nikolai, too, and they’re happy to see our pack grow.
They would have listened to me no matter how they felt about things but they’ve taken to my omegas almost the same way I did, and I’m glad for that.
Pulling open the screen, I step up into the camper and take all of three steps to the sink, turning on the hot water as soon as I’m there so I can take care of my thumb.
I clean and disinfect the wound before I dry it off then reach for the surgical thread and needle.
It doesn’t take too long since it wasn’t my dominant hand, but it’s such a small area and my thick fingers struggle a bit with tying things off.
I grab a small cup and fill it with isopropyl alcohol then drop the needle into the liquid, sterilizing it the best I can since I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get more.
I had to do that with the others and despite how sterile I know this shit gets them, I’m keeping them separate by person.
After what I just did, I’ll be adding my name to that cup before I secure it with Olive and Nikolai’s.
Turning to the table, I stare down into my overflowing first aid bag, debating on whether or not I need to cover my thumb and just when I decide I should, at least for a little while, I freeze at what I hear.
“Can I help you with that?”
My heart starts hammering in my chest, beating so fucking hard it’s going to crack a rib. My mouth goes dry and my palms begin to tingle as I hold my breath.
I can’t see her because of my hood, and I’m grateful that it means she can’t really see me either, but I can feel Olive take a few hesitant steps toward me.
She and Nikolai have been sleeping off and on for the better part of the last three days.
It’s part of the healing process after so much trauma to their bodies.
I’ve limited any medications to mostly topical for their wounds but they’ve both needed occasional injections of extremely low doses of morphine.
I’m not a doctor and I’ll never pretend to be, it’s a miracle I can fucking read the labels on the meds, but morphine is the only thing I have for pain that isn’t over the counter.
It’s the only thing that works for me but they’ve barely been getting a fraction of what I give myself when I have to.
I don’t want to create more problems with something so potent, but watching them each cry in their sleep was enough to make the decision for me to do something about it.
It’s also why I’m standing here like a statue right now. I haven’t had to worry about speaking to either of them beyond the second day we were here, and that was so brief I didn’t get nervous about it.
I am now, though.
It was stupid to think talking to them would be easy.
I assumed that since they’re my scent matches, it would feel natural or something to talk to them, that I wouldn’t become wildly insecure at the thought alone.
My human interaction had been beyond limited since I left The Circuit, to the point of nearly nonexistent, but my feelings and thoughts about Olive didn’t waver once.
They still haven’t and while breathing in their scents, as those peonies and lavender fragrances fill my senses and make every inch of my body ache with longing, the confidence I had prior to this moment is waning.
I don’t actually think I’ve ever felt insecure before.
There was never a reason to.
Everyone either knew how uneducated I am and didn’t care because of the select few things I do bring to the table, or they see my size and decide it’s better not to underestimate me in any way.
Olive and Nikolai are the first people I’ve genuinely cared about and what they think of me means more because of that. I don’t like that kind of vulnerability, I’m not used to it, but the fact that I didn’t anticipate it really shows how stupid I am.
“It’s the least I can do.” Olive takes a few more steps, putting us close enough to touch if we were inclined to do so. “Wrapping something like that with one hand can be difficult.”
Her tiny hands slowly appear in my line of vision, her delicate fingers outstretched as they cautiously reach for me.
“May I?” Olive pauses as she waits for my response and I manage to give her a subtle nod of my head.