Chapter 14 #3
I’ve waited fifteen years to touch her, to have her willingly touch me, and it seems fitting that both are only finally happening because of my idiotic mistakes. Every day I allowed to slip through my fingers, each and every one of those only supports what everyone has always said about me.
Stupid. Worthless. A waste of skin and bones. The only thing I’ll ever be good at is causing pain.
Scent match or not, my omegas aren’t immune to that.
I crave them, anyway.
Selfishly. Wholly.
I crave my omegas and their presence, their scents, their touch. I yearn for them to belong to me, to be mine and feel our bond the same way I do. And it’s that part of me that is waiting on bated breath as I watch Olive’s fingers hesitantly slide over my wrist and under the back of my hand.
“You managed to stitch yourself up okay.” She gently lifts, turning my palm back and forth slowly to look over my thumb but I can barely focus on anything other than how her skin feels against mine.
Warm and smooth. Soft.
Her touch is calming, soothing, but at the same time, the most minor contact has my body tight and hot, as if the embers of a fire are scattered over every inch.
Olive reaches for my other hand, plucking the gauze pad from my fingers before pressing it against my thumb.
She holds it there as she goes into the first aid kit for a bandage, taking the end of the roll and covering the pad before she begins winding it around my thumb and down over the heel of my hand.
She finishes quickly, tying it off with the right amount of pressure and it takes everything I have to hide the disappointment I feel when she releases me.
I’ve failed her too many times to expect her to want anything more from me but I’ll hold onto her kindness and cherish this brief moment for as long as my memory allows.
“Thank you,” I say quietly as I lower my hand. I clear my throat and take a step away from her. “I’ll go back outside so—”
“Have you had anything to eat?”
I wince internally at her question.
She’s hungry, she has to be.
Days of sleeping off and on has made it difficult to keep either of them hydrated, let alone properly nourished.
I’ve been worried about that, was even toying with the idea of finding a way to establish IV fluids but one simple touch has me forgetting my instincts, pushing my desire to care for my omegas to the back of my mind in favor of one fleeting moment fueled by selfish need.
I shake my head as I back toward the fridge. “I need to…”
My eyes widen as Olive follows, standing right next to me while her grass green eyes try to see under my hood.
I don’t want her to see me.
Not really.
I mean, I want her eyes on me almost as badly as I want her hands on me, but if she looks at my face? If Olive really sees me? Fate might not even be enough to dictate the outcome.
“I wasn’t implying that you should make something for me,” she says as she comes around to stand in front of me. She cranes her neck, looking up at my face through the shadows, fearlessly searching for my features. “It was the other way around, actually.”
I immediately frown at the thought.
She’s in no position to be standing out here following me around the small open space let alone cooking for anyone.
Frankly, that seems like a bad idea even when she’s in perfect health.
The one time she tried making something for her and Nikolai, the toaster caught fire and he had to run it outside and kick dirt on it so the camper didn’t go up in flames.
Clearing my throat, I take a deep breath and open my mouth to argue but with Olive standing so close to me, I end up inhaling nothing but her scent.
It causes an involuntary growl to bubble from my chest while my eyes slide closed.
I draw more of that eucalyptus and peony fragrance into my lungs, my fingers flexing at my sides as that growl turns into a loud, unmistakable purr.
“I knew it,” Olive whispers as I force my eyes open just in time to watch her push up on her bare toes and reach for my hood.
I flinch and tense up as her fingers barely touch the edge of the fabric, making her pause but only for a moment before they slide higher then curl around it.
A soft smile touches her pretty pink lips as she waits. “You have the upper hand here, Rune. I’m a fraction of your size and still recovering and even if I wasn’t, I’m not exactly a threat. You can stop me if you want to but I really hope you don’t.”
My chest heaves and my heart races as she slowly begins to push my hood back, my eyes darting back and forth between her face and hands until she rests the fabric around my neck.
Olive frowns slightly, giving only a hint of the reaction I was expecting, and I watch as her gaze moves over every exposed inch of me.
I watch, and wait.
Wait for the disgust and fear. For the look of horror to replace what I can only describe as curiosity.
But it doesn’t come.
Olive’s hands don’t move from my collarbones, she doesn’t lower herself flat on her feet and recoil in terror. If anything, it almost seems like she’s fighting an entirely different reaction and I can only stand here holding my breath while I wait to find out what it is.
Then the strangest thing happens.
She smiles.
My omega smiles up at me as she releases my hood and that gorgeous expression grows as she begins tracing the tattoos on my face without one ounce of hesitation or fear.
“I remember you,” Olive says softly as she follows each line of ink on my skin. “I mean, I remember your scent. Your presence. Everything else was conjured in my mind and my imagination didn’t really do you justice.”
What in the actual fuck is she talking about?
She giggles and shakes her head, her gaze shifting from my frown to where her fingers are following the tattoos on my neck. Olive’s smile doesn’t fade but it takes on a sad quality, something I can’t quite explain but I can see it.
“Every Wednesday for thirteen years.” Her touch ghosts over my throat as I swallow hard. “Seven in the evening until sometime in the middle of the night. Your scent was right outside the door for hours, floating through the cracks and high above the smell of—”
Another involuntary growl tears through my chest as I clench my jaw. “Don’t.”
Olive nods as her hands slide down between my pecs, smoothing the front of my hoodie before she finally lowers herself to the ground. “You’re why he stopped coming, aren’t you?”
I give her a curt nod.
He was going to buy her.
Not just pay to have his way with her, that bastard was going to persuade Hyak to sell Olive to him, so she would be his actual property.
If that had happened, we wouldn’t be here now. She wouldn’t be here at all.
His tastes were changing, I saw that first hand when I was left to clean up his larger and more frequent messes, and I couldn’t let that happen to Olive.
I wasn’t going to allow anything else to happen to my omega.
My silence did nothing but serve my selfish desire to be near her.
It didn’t stop the countless alphas from using her, it didn’t stop Hyak from abusing her.
All it did was guarantee a weekly visit where I watched them bring her to my master then I’d stand outside that fucking door and listen to what he did to her.
I was too weak minded, too ignorant to realize I had more power than I thought I did. I was too stupid and brainwashed to understand that I held all the power but when I heard him making plans to buy my omega, I snapped.
And so did he.
Right above his pelvis and at the base of his skull.
One less alpha who was hurting my scent match, but I was too late.
By the time I went rogue and left The Circuit, Olive and her chosen pack were gone, and it took me another two goddamn years to track her down.
“Thank you,” she whispers as she looks up at me, and for some reason, it makes me angry.
“I’ve done nothing but fail you.” I push off the counter as I grab my hood, flipping it back up over my head as I take the very few steps toward the door. “Fifteen fucking years of failures. I don’t deserve anything but punishment for that.”
Then I punch through the screen and slam the door behind me.
I want to leave but I won’t.
I won’t ever leave my omegas again but it doesn’t mean I have to subject them to my stupidity and self loathing.
They deserve so much better than that.