Chapter 15
ANNIE
I buried my face deeper into the crook of Cipher’s neck while the night air whipped around us as he carried me across the skyline.
The chill seeped through the coat he’d wrapped around me, but the shivering wasn’t just from the cold.
It was from everything, our sex, the tears, the surrender.
My body trembled against his, and his grip only tightened in response.
I couldn’t find the strength to pull away even though I knew I shouldn’t be doing this.
We landed on the rooftop garden of his penthouse, the plants swaying gently in the night breeze.
Without a word, he carried me inside, the penthouse dark except for the soft glow of baseboard lighting that illuminated our path.
Each step he took was careful, like I might shatter if he moved too quickly.
The door to his bedroom closed behind us with a soft click, sealing us away from the rest of the world. Sealing me in with my Villain.
“I should go,” I whispered, the words lacking any real conviction. “I can’t be here.”
“You can,” he replied, his voice a low rumble against my hair. “You are.”
He set me down on the edge of his bed, but didn’t step away. His hands remained on my shoulders, steady and warm.
“Please,” I said. “I need to leave.”
“No, you don’t.” His fingers brushed my cheek, impossibly gentle.
That gentleness was unbearable. I could handle his anger, his passion, the rough way we’d fucked. But this tenderness?
“Don’t,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Don’t be kind to me.”
“Why not?” His thumb traced my lower lip.
“Because I can’t—“ My throat closed around the words. “I can fight everything else about you, but not this.”
His silver eyes gleamed in the darkness. “Then stop fighting.”
I shook my head, panic rising in my chest. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The violence, the hate-sex? That made sense. That I could compartmentalize. But gentleness? Tenderness? That would destroy whatever resistance I had left.
“I can’t,” I repeated, even as my body leaned into his touch.
“You can still hate me, Annie. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Just let me touch you while you do it.”
My mind fractured into a thousand jagged pieces.
If I stayed in this room, if I looked at him for one more second, I would have to face the truth of who I was.
I would have to acknowledge the darkness I craved and the monster I wanted to keep.
I needed to run, to escape the reflection he held up to me, but I knew he would never let me go.
I shoved against his chest, throwing my weight into the strike.
A raw sound tore out of my throat. The pressure built behind my eyes and the weight of my own exhaustion and fear, cracked open.
A scream exploded out of me and my legs gave out.
I couldn’t stop the noise pouring from my mouth.
I just knelt there, screaming and screaming, letting months of terror and longing rip their way out of me.
Cipher dropped down with me. His hands framed my face, his thumbs smoothing over my tear-soaked cheeks. “I’ve got you,” he murmured. “I’m right here.”
“Stop it!” I shrieked, batting his hands away. “Stop being gentle!” My fingers hooked into the dark, armored plating of his suit. I yanked at the clasps, desperate to tear the barrier away, my nails scraping against the hardened material. “Take it off. Take it all off.”
He moved quickly and stripped away the armor and the undersuit, discarding the pieces until he stood completely naked before me.
I stayed on my knees, my breath hitching as I looked up at him. He was a masterpiece. Broad shoulders, heavy musculature, a deep V tapering down to his hips. The tattoos crisscrossing his skin only accentuated how perfectly built he was.
My chest ached with how much I wanted him.
I reached forward. The heat of his skin burned against my palms where I gripped his hips. I dragged him closer, pulling him right to the edge of my space. I needed him. I needed to own him.
I wrapped my hand around his cock, reveling in the weight and heat of it.
“What are you doing?” he rasped, his hands coming down to tangle in the messy strands of my hair.
Instead of answering, I leaned forward and took him into my mouth.
This wasn’t for him. This was entirely, unapologetically for me.
I wanted him at my mercy. That fleeting moment back in my bedroom, that desperate little taste he’d allowed, hadn’t been enough to satisfy the deep, gnawing hunger inside me.
I needed the taste of his skin, the surrender inherent in his harsh groan.
I dragged my lips down the length of him, swallowing his quiet curse, taking exactly what I wanted.
He belonged to me in this moment. Every shudder of his muscular thighs, every hitch in his breathing, was a direct response to my control.
I tightened my grip on his hips, drawing him deeper, letting the motion quiet the chaos in my mind.
I worked the length of his cock with my mouth and tongue again and again until the muscles in his thighs bunched under my grip and his breathing turned harsh and ragged above me. He was losing his grip and I was the one dragging him over the edge.
“Swallow it all, Annie,” he ordered. “Every drop.”
He drove deep into the back of my throat and held me there. The hot, thick pulse of his cum hit the back of my tongue and I worked to swallow around him, taking everything he gave me.
When I finally pulled away, I stayed on my knees, panting.
Cipher traced the pad of his thumb along the corner of my mouth.
“Good girl,” he murmured.
I didn’t want to be good. I parted my lips, took his thumb into my mouth, and bit down. I applied enough pressure to make him suck in a sharp breath. I loved the monster in front of me, and I would always bite back. I needed him to remember that was the line we walked.
Cipher yanked his hand back and hauled me to my feet.
His hands went straight for the hidden zipper at the back of my dress and I twisted away, batting his hands down.
The silk and boning were the last barrier I had, my final shred of armor against the chaos he brought into my life.
I needed the fabric. I needed a physical boundary between my skin and his control.
I shoved hard against his chest, but Cipher caught both of my wrists, pinning them together with one hand. A dark, wicked smirk curved his lips.
“Really, Sparks?” he murmured, his voice a mocking rasp in the quiet room. “You just swallowed my cum. Your pussy is dripping down your thighs for me right now. And you’re going to fight me over a piece of silk?”
I jerked my arms, breaking his grip with a sharp twist, and drove my palm into his shoulder.
The impact jarred my wrist, but I welcomed the sting.
We grappled in the dim light of the bedroom and my lungs burned with the exertion.
I aimed a knee at his thigh, missing when he shifted his weight with infuriating ease.
He backed me toward the mattress, absorbing my strikes, letting me exhaust myself against him.
The safe word hovered right at the edge of my teeth. A single syllable would stop this instantly. I swallowed the word down. I wanted the bruised wrists and the undeniable, physical proof that he wanted me just as violently as I wanted him.
He cornered me against the edge of the mattress and spun me around.
His hand wrapped around my neck, holding me in place while his other hand found the zipper.
The metal teeth parted and he shoved the fabric off my shoulders, pinning my arms to my sides for a brief second as the dress pooled at my feet.
He shoved me face-down onto the bed and grabbed my hips.
I immediately scrambled and flipped over, bringing my knee up to catch him in the chest, ready to drag this out until we were both bruised and breathless.
Cipher came down on top of me, caging me in. His eyes raked over my body, hungry and possessive, until they stopped at the spot just below my left collarbone.
He went rigid and the hunger died in his eyes.
“Annie,” he whispered, his finger reaching out to trace the jagged scar Dread had left when his knife sliced into me that night at the Crucible. His hand froze mid-air, hovering inches from my skin.
I watched as grief flashed across his face.
His finger finally made contact, trembling as it traced the scar. The touch was so light I barely felt it.
“I didn’t know,” he said, his voice cracking. “I didn’t—“
His throat worked visibly as he stared at the raised ridge of tissue. Evidence of how deeply Dread’s blade had carved into me. How close I’d come to dying because of his actions.
When he leaned in, replacing his finger with his mouth, I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through me. His lips were warm against the damaged skin, gentle.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured against my scar. “I should have been there sooner.”
I pushed him back, needing space between us.
“Don’t,” I said, my voice sharp. “I don’t want your apologies.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why not?”
“Because I can’t trust that you mean them. How do I know this isn’t just another calculation? Another lie to get what you want?”
Anger flashed across his face, his jaw tightening as he stared at me. For a moment, I thought he might argue and try to convince me I was wrong. That’s what the old Cipher would have done. He would have used that silver tongue to twist everything around until I doubted my own judgment.
Instead, he just nodded once. He simply absorbed the blow and accepted it. He didn’t try to defend himself or try to persuade me I was wrong.
That, more than anything, caught me off guard. The Cipher I knew never conceded a point without a fight.
“Then I won’t apologize with my words,” he said, simply.
He leaned in to kiss me again. His lips moved against mine with aching tenderness, asking for something I couldn’t give. Something I wasn’t ready to give.
“Don’t,” I whispered against his mouth. “Don’t be gentle.”
His body tensed against mine. “Annie—”
“Fuck me,” I demanded, digging my nails into his shoulders. “Hurt me.”
He hesitated before pressing his forehead against mine. I could feel him waging some internal battle, weighing what I was asking against what he wanted to give.
“Please,” I added, hating the desperation in my voice but unable to stop it.
Cipher’s hands tightened on my hips. “I’ll give you whatever you need,” he whispered against my skin.
He pulled back to flip me over and shoved me face-down into the mattress again. His hand pressed between my shoulder blades, keeping me pinned as he kneed my legs wider apart.
“Is this what you want? You want me to fuck you like you mean nothing to me?”
“Yes,” I gasped, even as something in my chest twisted painfully at the words.
His hand came down hard on my ass, the sharp crack echoing. I yelped, more from surprise than pain, though the sting bloomed hot across my skin a moment later.
“Too bad,” he growled, leaning over me until his chest pressed against my back. “You mean everything to me and I’m going to make sure you feel it.”
He lined himself up and thrust into me hard.
I screamed into the sheets. The stretch was agonizing and I tried to detach, to let the pain drag me down into a dark, numb oblivion where I didn’t have to feel his heart pounding against my back.
Cipher refused to let me go.
He locked his arm around my waist, pinning my hips flush to his, and sank his teeth into my shoulder. He held the flesh between his teeth, forcing me to stay present in the agonizing pleasure of his mark.
“You belong to me,” he hissed against my ear. Each word was punctuated by a rough thrust. “Every scar. Every fear. Mine.”
“Please,” I sobbed. My pussy clenched around his cock with every punishing thrust even as I tried desperately to check out. I needed oblivion.
He wrapped his fist in my hair and yanked my head back, exposing my throat.
“Feel this,” he demanded, driving into me so hard the bed frame slammed against the wall. “Feel how much I love you, Annie. Let it ruin you.”
He fucked me violently, giving me the exact pain I begged for while taking away my ability to hide from it. I was trapped in his devotion, overwhelmed by the terrifying reality that he loved me enough to tear me apart.
When his hand came down on my ass again, the sharp sting shattered me. I convulsed around him, my orgasm feeling like a surrender, driven by the inescapable weight of his obsession. I screamed his name as I came, my mind consumed by him.