Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Violet
“We’re making good time,” Lily said as I finished washing off the fruit. “And it helps that Evander gives zero fucks about whether we save every pumpkin. I think we could leave five acres and he wouldn’t care.”
I smiled as I cut cantaloupe away from the rind. “All the kids want to be outside. I’m almost obsolete. But at least I can help Willow get the food ready.”
Willow and Bruce had arrived with a ton of food. Bruce wasn’t allowed to canvass the field in the heat, so he’d brought his grill and found an old one in the shop. After some tinkering, he’d gotten it working.
Willow had set up tables and chairs. Happiness radiated from her like today was what she’d been dreaming of for years—a giant Barron family event.
“She looks like she’s in her element. I can’t believe she didn’t ask anyone to contribute. I could’ve made Mom’s cookie salad. ”
I groaned and dumped several chunks of melon into the bowl with the strawberries I’d already sliced. “Now you’re going to have to make it. You incited a craving.”
“What else have you been dying for?”
“Orange juice.” Evander. “Milk.”
She laughed and leaned against the back of the counter. “I heard Isla ask him about growing raspberries next year, and he said he didn’t know where he’d be living. His lease is up soon.”
A tendril of hurt wound around my heart. I cut more cantaloupe. “I told him he could stay. I don’t care about the trust.”
“Can I ask…” She tilted her head. We were the only ones in the house, but she was branching into a topic I didn’t want anyone overhearing. “Why aren’t you marrying him to get the land? He seems to like you.”
“It’s the baby.” I thunked my knife steadily through the melon’s flesh. My stomach twisted at the thought of Evander moving. “He would do it—he offered.” Her gaze bored into me, but I couldn’t look at her. It was never fun admitting that you weren’t enough. “He’s a good guy, and once he came around to the baby being his, he’s been amazing. But in the end, it’s for me because it’s for the baby.” I ducked my head down, wishing I could hide behind my hair, but I’d put it up in a claw clip.
She was frowning at me. “Do you really think that?”
“He has trust issues when it comes to women. I can’t believe that he pivoted just like that for me.”
“Why not?”
The two pictures appeared in my mind like they’d been summoned. The photos might be deleted off my phone, but they were clear as a bell. People changed their minds. Men who dragged their feet about marriage suddenly said I do . Evander could decide I was using him after all—for baby supplies or for handiwork. I wasn’t, but I also wasn’t in his head. “I just can’t, Lily. First, he thought I baby-trapped him. Then he thought I was using him for…I don’t know…healthcare? After that, Linda stopped over when I was staying with him, and she spilled the beans about the trust.”
She gasped. “He didn’t know before that? Oh no.”
“Yep. He feels bad, but still. It’s for the baby, and I’m grateful, but I can’t fool myself.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know, Violet. That man doesn’t look at you like you’re nothing but a baby factory. I mean, you two clearly had something, otherwise, there wouldn’t be…” She fluttered her hands at my stomach.
I wanted to think we had something more than shared parenthood, but my practicality won. As much as it hurt, I’d tried to delude myself once before, and I’d wasted years of my life. “It was sex then, and it’s sex now.”
Her eyes flared wide, and her jaw dropped.
Oops. I hadn’t meant to spill that detail.
“You two are sleeping together.” Her voice pitched up like she heard the juiciest, most scandalous secret.
“Shh.” I frantically looked around. Everyone knew that obviously Evander and I had sex five and a half months ago. I didn’t need them to know we were still fucking. “I’m an easy option.” My throat clenched around those words.
“Oh, Violet. You’re more than that.”
“I know. I just don’t know if I am to Evander.” I blinked back the heat of tears. “He only changed when he got the results. ”
Heavy footsteps sounded on the porch. I picked up my knife to continue cutting.
Lily squeezed my elbow. “I know you’re just protecting yourself,” she said softly. “But I wonder how you’d view this situation if it wasn’t for that boring twat Willis.”
Laughter sputtered out of me. “Lily!”
She shrugged, unrepentant. “I held back for years.” When her gaze lit up, I knew exactly who had walked in. “How are my boys?”
“I think one of us is ready for a nap.”
“Just one?” Lily joked.
Gah. They were too cute. Longing tugged hard at my soul. She never had to question him. Eliot’s world revolved around my sister.
“I can lay him down for a nap,” Lily said. “Unless Aunt Violet wants a little break?”
I took my chance to get away, to tuck my thoughts into the recesses of my mind.
As I carried Kellan to the extra bedroom where I had stayed when I was here, I could breathe easier. The heaviness of Lily’s questions was left behind. I didn’t have to make her understand. I knew where I stood. As long as I was true to myself, I’d be okay.