Virtually Guarded (Virtual Haven Pack #1)

Chapter One Ren

Gasping, panting, I ran.

On four legs, because I was a wolf. That was what he—the nice one—had told me. I was a werewolf. Sometimes human, sometimes wolf.

My thoughts were on repeat because the agony from my wounds occupied most of my consciousness. I was a wolf, and thinking that over and over kept the pain from overwhelming me. The pain and the blood.

The pursuers. They were after me. They wanted to finish what they’d started back in that concrete-floored room. Injuries weren’t enough. They wanted me dead.

I was heading north. I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but there was no question. North was right, because north was where the Anax was.

I hoped the Anax would help me.

The nice one had claimed to be the Alpha. In charge of a pack, the pack I’d been brought to. A wolf had attacked me. That made me a werewolf too, and werewolves belonged to packs.

From the way the nice one explained it, the Anax was sort of a super-Alpha. In charge of all the packs in the United States. And the Anax was nearby. Some instinct in me felt him, the power drawing me like a lighthouse beacon.

Except lighthouse beacons weren’t supposed to draw people. They were supposed to keep ships away so they wouldn’t wreck. So they wouldn’t be destroyed.

The Anax might destroy me. That was what they had said after they started beating me. I was wrong. Fucked-up. I deserved to be destroyed, and the Anax wouldn’t want a werewolf like me in this country.

The sun beat down on me, so hot I felt faint, but I couldn’t stop.

I needed water. Maybe the Anax would give me water.

Bushes and thin branches scored my skin, but there was nothing I could do about that.

They were behind me somewhere. I’d escaped, barely, before they could end me.

They wanted to finish the job. I had to keep moving toward that power-beacon, toward the Anax.

Maybe they were telling the truth when they said he would want me destroyed, but maybe they were lying.

Maybe they only said it to justify their own hate.

I had to hope that was the case. Otherwise, I was dead.

Shivering, I ran faster, even though it felt like steel spikes through my legs and the paw they’d slashed.

The blood loss was getting to me. Some of the scratches and shallower wounds had already started to heal, and they itched like fuck.

Werewolves healed fast, the Alpha had said.

But some of the damage they’d done was more severe, and blood droplets scattered behind me as I ran.

I kept running toward the power that I hoped was the Anax, because I needed him. To help me or to kill me, I didn’t really care which anymore. Either one would stop the pain.

Either one would stop the pack from coming after me and killing me themselves.

Shaking more violently now, I pushed through branches. My vision blurred. I didn’t see the thorns until they were in my skin. They stung, ripped at skin that was already ripped, and I bit back a yelp. The Anax was nearer now. Right in front of me.

Sanctuary or death. I didn’t know which.

You are intruding on the Anax’s property. Identify yourself.

At the sudden, strong voice in my mind, I did yelp. That wasn’t my thought.

The Anax. Was that him? The Alpha had said werewolves in leadership ranks had bonds to those under their rule and could speak into their minds. Was I hearing the Anax?

I stopped on trembling legs. My legs felt heavier, and even the leaves and branches directly in front of me were blurry. I wanted to lie down. Sleep. Maybe forever. My breathing was so loud it hurt my ears, and I still wasn’t getting enough air.

Show yourself. The voice was more compassionate now. Tell me who you are.

Something pushed on me, forcing me to obey whether I wanted to or not. Reluctantly, I started walking forward, struggling now as my feet didn’t want to lift off the ground. Everything hurt, and I couldn’t hold back a few whimpers among my ragged inhales and exhales.

Ahead of me, I saw him. A white wolf, glowing in the sunlight.

Power radiated from him. I couldn’t have ignored his orders if I’d wanted to.

Shaking, panting, I emerged from the trees in front of him and immediately dropped to my belly.

He was the Anax. I felt it. I had to show that I knew he was in charge.

He was imposing. Terrifying. He could hurt me. Or help me. Quaking, I lay still, waiting for him to do or say something.

Your name?

The gentleness of the question stunned me, and for a second, I didn’t know how to answer. Ren, I said finally. I hitched in a breath. Anax.

Yes. I’m Tobias Rogan. The Anax. He sat beside me.

For too long, he said nothing. Did nothing. And I couldn’t move, because if I did, he might take it wrong. I didn’t know all the rules. Hell, I didn’t know any of them. I might threaten him without even knowing I was doing it.

Not that I was much of a threat as I lay here gasping for air, blood staining my fur, in so much pain I wanted to scream. Fortunately, that didn’t seem possible while I was a wolf.

I’m going to shift, he said, mercifully breaking the silence before panic took me over. You do the same. Back to human.

Covering my eyes with one paw, I whined softly.

Even if I dared show him my human body, I wasn’t completely sure how.

The Alpha had done something to make me shift back to human in that concrete-floored room.

He’d spoken, even though I hadn’t understood all of the words, and he’d used some kind of power, too.

Something like the pressure I’d felt when the Anax ordered me to show myself.

I didn’t want to show him my human body, because then he would see what the pack had seen. The body that didn’t match. He would see that I was “wrong,” as they had put it. What would he do to me then?

You don’t want me to see your human form? he asked, almost like he’d read my mind. Maybe he had.

No, I said. No point in lying. If he could read my mind, he already knew he was right.

I will shift back, he said. I want to talk to you. Hear who did this to you. Let me shift. Then we’ll see.

I didn’t answer, because there was nothing for me to say. He would do what he wanted. I had to do what he said.

He lowered himself to the ground, and my eyes ached trying to see his form as it began to change. He was wolf. He was human. My mind couldn’t make sense of the input through my eyes, and my vision was still blurry anyway. Exhaustion and pain made it hard to comprehend much of anything.

Finally, a man with tanned skin and dark wavy hair lay on the ground where the white wolf had been. He was naked, because of course he was. Clothes didn’t shift when the body did. I’d been naked too. That was one of the things that had upset the pack members who had assaulted me.

Seeing the Anax’s body, I cringed. I’d seen plenty of naked guys before. I didn’t know why the Anax being nude bothered me. But I couldn’t look.

“Hey.” He sat up, his hands covering his lap. “I’m Tobias Rogan. You know I’m the Anax, but right now, I only want to help you. You can call me by name.” He paused, studying me.

I wrinkled my forehead. Something was wrong here. The Anax was in charge. Call him by name? I couldn’t even speak.

“Do you understand me, Ren?” he asked.

Anax. It was the only word I could manage.

“Call me Tobias,” he said gently. “We are equal in this moment.”

Anax, I said again, wishing I had the words to explain why that was the only thing I could call him. It was beyond explanation. A sense of his power and his role in the werewolf world. I could no more call him by name than I could have called God “Chuck.”

Clenching his teeth, he took a slow breath. I cringed. Had I angered him? I couldn’t make him angry. Not yet. Things would get bad enough when I shifted into human form.

“Shift back. Please.” He held up his hands. “No fear. You are safe.”

Again I whined and covered my eyes. Safe. I didn’t remember the last time that word had had anything to do with my reality. Even before the wolf’s attack, I’d had no safety anywhere. Now, especially after what the pack had done, I couldn’t trust “safe.”

But the Anax wanted me to shift back, and even though I didn’t feel power pressing on me like before, I couldn’t ignore the command. Without conscious thought, I reached for the human side of myself, buried somewhere in my mind. When that side had control, the body would change.

It would change into a body the Anax would see as a woman’s. Then the best thing that would happen was that he would have a hell of a lot of questions. Hopefully that was all that would happen.

Shifting was more painful than any of the injuries the pack had inflicted.

My body had to contract and compact. Forelegs changing to arms.

The genitals that were the only good thing about being a wolf, because they matched my true gender and not my assigned-at-birth sex, shrank into my body, becoming the factory-issued slit, clit, and vagina.

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t make any sound at all. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign.

Finally, it was done. Not the pain. Not the bleeding, either, though at least that had slowed.

The shifting was over, though. I was in human form, the form I had a tolerance-hate relationship with.

I wished to hell I had my binder, because the chest was the worst part of this form, and I wanted to squash it down so the Anax wouldn’t see.

At least I could hide what was between my legs, and I did, rolling onto my side with my legs tight together.

The Anax stared at me, and I curled myself smaller, petrified of how he would react.

If my wolf form had had the same set of genitals—or an equivalent set, anyway—as my human form, it wouldn’t have been so bad.

I was used to people staring at the trans dude who didn’t look quite dudish enough.

But I’d already seen that not everyone reacted benignly to a wolf with a penis and balls transforming into what appeared to be a human woman.

And I didn’t know if the Anax would give me a chance to explain.