Chapter One Ren #3
“Okay.” Pressing my lips together, I waved at my torso. “Is he…What’s he going to think?”
For a second, he looked confused. Then he seemed to get it. “May I tell him you’re a trans man?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s okay. I mean, doctors should know.” I grimaced. “Except for the transphobic asshole doctors.”
“Wilbur isn’t one of those.” He didn’t sound too sure. “I’ll be right back. Xavier might be back before me, but you’ll be okay with him.”
“All right.”
He left the room. I lay back against a puffy cushion that was propped on the arm of the sofa. For a second, I shut my eyes. Sleep. Sleep would be frigging amazing right now. I felt drained, more exhausted than even on days when I’d only managed an hour or two of sleep if I was lucky.
With my eyes closed, though, I couldn’t see what was happening or who was around me. I was pretty sure I would hear anyone approaching, but seeing was safer. I opened my eyes again just as Xavier walked in, carrying a small tray that held a plate and a tall, full bottle of clear liquid.
He stopped for a beat just inside the doorway. “All right?”
I didn’t know whether he was asking if I was all right or if it was all right for him to come in, so I answered the second one. “Yeah. The Anax went to call his doctor.”
“That’s good. You’re pretty banged up.” He came closer and set the tray on the small table beside the sofa. Stepping backward, he regarded me. “Your name’s Ren?”
I nodded. “And you’re Xavier.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated, then, to my surprise, sat down on the floor, his legs folded. Crisscross applesauce, as my kindergarten teacher had put it.
The random memory made me chuckle, and Xavier gave me a strange look. “Sorry.” I reached over and picked up the glass. He’d even included a bendy straw. “Water?”
He nodded. “I didn’t know what else to bring you. Water seemed safe enough. Do you mind if I stay in here with you? If there’s a chance someone followed you, it’s better to have backup.”
“Yeah.” I’d lost track of what he was saying, and now I didn’t know what I’d answered.
“I mean, yeah, it might be better, and no, I don’t mind. What the hell is going on?”
I blurted out the question without thinking, but it really needed to be asked.
That weird jolt when he picked me up, feeling like I’d known him forever even though I couldn’t remember his last name, the magnetic pull between us.
Maybe it was a werewolf thing. I wouldn’t know if I didn’t ask.
“What do you mean?” The slow way he said it, without looking at me, told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“You picked me up to bring me in here and…You felt it.” I wasn’t going to let him get away with pretending otherwise. “What was that? I don’t know you. But something said…”
I stopped. Telling him that something had said he was mine was beyond what I could handle.
He might have heard a similar voice in his mind—or he might think I needed to be safely confined in a padded room.
After everything I’d been through so far today, I had to assume worst case.
I felt that Xavier was safe. That he wouldn’t hurt me.
But I didn’t know if I could believe that feeling.
“Something said I was yours?” he said.
I stared at him. He spoke so blandly, like it wasn’t anything weird at all. “Yeah.”
“We’re mates.” He opened and closed his mouth, then bowed his head. “That’s what all that was. You’re my mate.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” I didn’t intend to swear. Or raise my voice. But I did both, because somewhere deep in my mind, I knew exactly what it meant, and it was the most frightening thing yet.
“Werewolves have mates.” He spoke in a calm, even tone.
How? How could he drop something like that on me and be so frigging calm?
“They say everyone has one, but not everyone finds theirs. I guess we found ours.”
He looked up at me, his brown eyes deep and compassionate.
Pulling me in. I quickly looked away. “Don’t worry, Ren. It doesn’t have to mean anything right now. Let the Anax’s doctor check you over. Stay here if the Anax will let you. You’ll be safe.”
“And what about you?” I didn’t even have a clue what I was asking. “Mates? Like fate, destiny bullshit? We have to be together?”
He sighed. “It’s hard to explain. Fate, yes. That’s as good a word as any. Our souls are joined somehow, at least on the wolf side of things, and I guess that can’t be changed. But I believe in free will. If someone doesn’t want to be someone’s mate, they shouldn’t have to be.”
“This is a lot.” Especially from a guy I’d literally just met on the worst day of my life.
“Yeah.” Frowning, he propped his chin on his hands, with his elbows on his thighs. “Look, I only said it because you wanted to know what happened out there. I’m answering your question, not pushing for anything..”
“Sure.”
“I can go.” He got up way more gracefully than I would have been able to manage. “If I make you uncomfortable.”
“You do, but no.” The thought of him walking out of the room was much more uncomfortable than the thought of him staying.
“I mean, you don’t have to go. It’s…I feel safe having you here.”
I shouldn’t have said that either, but the words were out before I could stop them.
And it was true. Weird jolty connection aside, I felt safe with him.
“Then I’ll stay,” he said quietly.
And he did. Right there in the room, without speaking, while I ate and drank. He watched me, and it should have felt awkward. It didn’t. Whoever he was to me, whether or not he was telling the truth about the mate thing, he belonged right there.
I didn’t try to unpack that. I just drank my water and ate the sliced meat and cheese on the plate and waited for the Anax, knowing Xavier would stay.