Chapter Five Ren
I couldn’t sit still. Couldn’t relax. Just like Xavier had said might happen, someone had challenged the Anax for his rank. There would be a fight. And the Anax might lose.
I wanted to be with Xavier. Seth had spotted me as he guided the Anax outside for the fight and had told me that Xavier was up on the third floor.
The way he’d said it, I couldn’t tell whether it would be all right for me to join Xavier up there, so I’d stayed put.
But now I wished I hadn’t. I couldn’t be here.
I stood and paced around the room, as much as I could when there were other people crowding in. By now, everyone knew that the Southeast Region Arkhon had challenged the Anax, and they all wanted to talk about it. I even overheard a trio of guys I hadn’t met taking bets about who would win.
I wanted to scream at them. How could they act like this didn’t matter? Then again, from the way they were talking, they didn’t give a shit about the Anax. They would be happy if he lost.
“Ren, come with me.” Suzannah was behind me.
I managed not to jump. “Please don’t sneak up like that.”
“Sorry. I thought you heard me.” She moved up beside me. “Some people are jackasses. They always will be. Let’s get out of the middle of this, yeah? Emotions are going to ramp up, and that might not be great to be around.”
“Yeah.”
She led me out of the room. “Is there someplace you’d rather be? I can’t bring you outside, or I’d suggest we take a walk.”
“Upstairs, I guess.” I hesitated. “Xavier’s guarding Kyle. That means I should probably leave him alone, right?”
She smiled. “Come with me. There are perks to being an Alpha’s mate.”
Up on the third floor, we found Kyle and Xavier inside a large suite.
Clearly the primary bedroom, given that it was bigger than the apartment I’d lived in with my parents.
Kyle was sitting on the bed staring at the window.
Xavier stood from a chair just inside the door when Suzannah and I walked in.
“Suzannah.” He bowed his head for a second. “Ren.”
“Xavier.” Suzannah went over to the bed. “Kyle, how are you holding up?”
“Oh, same old, same old. Someone tries to kill my mate, my mate lets them try, and I sit here hoping that he survives.” He sounded bitter as fuck. “I’m shitty, Suz.”
“I see that.” She sat beside him. “Xavier, I know you’re supposed to be guarding Kyle, but while I’m in here, you and Ren don’t need to stay in the room.”
“The Anax told me to stay with Kyle,” Xavier said.
“Go.” Kyle gave us a very lopsided grin. “Suzannah will keep me from doing anything unwise. And you’ll be right out in the hall. You’ll see if anyone comes to threaten me.” His grin evaporated into a scowl. “Please. I want to talk to Suz privately.”
“Of course.” Turning toward me, Xavier motioned at the door.
Out in the hall, he closed the door and moved to the opposite wall. I stood beside him. “This is awful. People are taking fucking bets about whether the Anax will lose.”
“People will people.” He snorted. “Werewolves will werewolf, as Kyle would probably say. The fight should be over soon. Kyle will know before anyone else inside the house.”
“Xavier, you said…” I stopped myself. I didn’t want to sound clingy.
Hell, I had no right to cling to him. We were friends.
That kiss had definitely been something, had sparked something, but I wasn’t about to jump into his arms and proclaim undying love or whatever.
And I damn sure wasn’t going to ask if he’d meant it when he said he would take care of me if the Anax died.
“I said if the Anax doesn’t make it, I’ll make sure you have a safe place to stay,” he said, as if he’d read my mind.
Which he probably had. He’d said that was a thing mates could do.
“I will, Ren. I don’t have a rank to stake my promises on like the Anax does, but I do promise I’ll take care of you if you let me. Friends take care of each other too.”
“You don’t have to keep reminding me we’re friends.” I leaned against the wall. “I don’t trust many people. Haven’t had a reason to. But I trust you. You said you won’t push me into anything, and I believe you.”
“I’m glad.” He didn’t say anything else, but the words you need people you can trust ran through my mind in his voice. My imagination. Had to be.
We stood without speaking for several minutes.
Needing to know what was happening outside, and with no way to find out, I fidgeted with the hem of my T-shirt—well, the T-shirt I was wearing—while Xavier simply stood facing the door of the room.
He wasn’t looking at the door, though. His gaze, as far as I could tell, stayed right on me.
Finally, inside the room, Kyle shouted, “Yes! He won!”
I sagged against the wall. Xavier let out a long breath. “Okay,” he said. “We’re okay.”
The door opened. Suzannah stood there smiling. “Tobias is still Anax.”
“And he wants me to stay here until he shifts back and the mess out there is cleaned up.” Kyle scoffed. “I need my mate. He can’t say he needs me, because everyone would think he was weak, but no one cares if I’m weak. I’m no one except his mate.”
“You’re someone, Kyle.” Suzannah shook her head. “You two can come back in.”
I looked up at Xavier. I would rather have continued our conversation, preferably in my room where we wouldn’t have to deal with anyone else.
Where I could hold his hand again. That had felt nice.
I wouldn’t have thought just holding someone’s hand could make you feel like you were completely joined to them, but that was what I’d felt when my hand was in Xavier’s much larger one. Joined. Bonded, he might have said.
To my disappointment, he shook his head. “The Anax told me to stay with Kyle. I have to until he rescinds the order.”
“He didn’t bond-talk you into leaving me alone?” Kyle sounded amused. Definitely in better shape than when Suzannah and I had come upstairs. “Then come in and have a seat if you want.”
“It’s up to Ren.” Xavier’s expression gave me zero sign of what he wanted to do.
“I guess it doesn’t make sense to keep standing out here if you’re finished your private discussion.”
Was that the right answer? Who knew? But I went back into the room and sat on a wooden chair beside one of the bureaus.
Xavier hesitated, then sat on the floor beside me.
This was probably the only time I would ever feel taller than him.
“They’ll clean up out there.” Kyle spoke rapidly. Nervously, like he didn’t quite believe Tobias’s fight was over. “He’ll shift back. He said he would come up here when he’s ready.”
“Kyle.” Suzannah’s voice was low, soothing, as she sat beside him on the bed. “He won. It’s okay.”
“He hates challenge fights. He hates ending anyone’s life. Even if they deserve it.” Kyle took a shuddering breath. “This is going to be hard for him.”
“You know he’ll have support to deal with it.” Suzannah glanced at Xavier and me. “Ren, you know enough about how this world works to understand that nothing we say about Tobias here can be repeated.”
“Yeah, of course.” I pressed my lips together.
“Admitting you need help is weakness,” Xavier muttered.
He held his hand out to me, exactly like I’d wanted.
I took it, and that same sense of joining struck me.
Whatever we called each other, we belonged together.
He smiled up at me, and I knew he’d felt it too.
“That isn’t what I actually think, Ren, but too many do. If they believed the Anax needed support, they would see him as weak.”
“Some already do.” Hunching over, Kyle folded his arms. “I’m his weakness, as far as some think. Not just because I’m a guy. There are idiots out there who think that loving anyone is weak. They don’t even love their mates, they just have them because it makes them look more powerful.”
“That’s bullshit.” I didn’t know a hell of a lot about the werewolf world yet, and even less about love, but even I knew love didn’t make someone weak. Not if it was genuine love shared with someone else.
Love was strength. Not that I had any experience with it, but I might have read a few sappy romance novels during long nights trying to stay awake in shelters or on people’s couches.
“It is bullshit,” Suzannah said. “But we have to—”
“Shit. No!” Kyle jumped off the bed and ran to the nearest window, which overlooked the back lawn.
“What’s going on?” Suzannah hurried to his side. “Kyle?”
“Davis Gray.” He spat the name like it was a curse. “Fucking Davis Gray came back. Tobias said he didn’t challenge, but he’s shifting. There’s going to be another fight.”
“But if Tobias loses, it doesn’t mean anything if it isn’t a challenge, right?”
As soon as I said it, even before Kyle turned a death glare on me, I knew how ridiculous that was.
If Tobias lost, it wouldn’t mean Davis became Anax, but it would still mean Tobias had lost.
The fight and his life. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Yeah.” Kyle turned back to the window. “I can’t see. They’re on another part of the lawn, I guess. Fuck!” He slammed his palm against the window frame. “How can he do this?”
I didn’t know where it came from. A sense of calm certainty. The words were out of my mouth before I fully processed, in an odd voice that echoed through the room. “He’ll be all right. It won’t…He won’t fight. The other guy won’t fight.”
All three of them stared at me. Cringing, I bowed my head and stared at my hands. My face was hot, and I wished to hell I had just kept my mouth shut. I had no more way to know what was going to happen than they did.
“How do you know, Ren?” Suzannah asked gently.
“I’m not sure.” I tried to take a breath, but my chest was so tight the air didn’t quite make it into my lungs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just… I guess I just know?”
“Like Quinn, minus the colors,” Kyle said.
I didn’t know who Quinn was, and the reference to colors didn’t make any sense to me, so I just shrugged.
“You’ll meet Quinn in a few days.” Kyle walked over to the bed and leaned forward, propped on his hands. “He’ll be here for the wedding. If the wedding happens. If Tobias…Nope. Not going to say it. And the rest of you, don’t say anything. Please. Just…Just stay here until we know what happened.”