Chapter Seven Ren
I would have given anything to never have to shift again. Had it hurt so much the last time? I didn’t remember. I didn’t think it had. But this time, I almost couldn’t do it. Couldn’t get from one form to the other.
Until my mate started talking to me. Low voice.
Quiet. That helped. I didn’t know what he was saying, but that didn’t matter.
One of the others—Felicia? I was pretty sure that was who the female wolf was, since she’d been the only woman in our group—helped too.
I wasn’t sure how. She just stood beside me in her wolf form, not quite touching me, and that made it easier.
But Xavier was there. My mate. Like he’d promised. He wouldn’t leave me, and that gave me the push I needed to get through the rest of the shift.
I didn’t notice when he started to shift, but when I finally managed to get up on my four paws, Xavier was wolf too. He moved closer to me. Can you hear me?
Y—yeah. Surprised, I stared at him. Bond?
Yes.
That was good to know. If I needed to tell him something, needed him, I’d be able to say so. Like with the Anax.
As I thought it, I heard the Anax in my mind. Go. Stay in the boundaries.
The crowd of wolves around us suddenly erupted into yipping, whimpering, running. I cringed as some ran too close to us, and Xavier instantly placed himself in front of me. You’re safe. The Anax told me to stay with you. I’m here.
Yeah. I really hoped he didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Like he was only there because the Anax had said so.
Come with me. He took a few steps toward the trees and turned. We can run. Don’t have to hunt. But it’s time to run.
Suddenly, running was the only thing I wanted to do.
Far and fast. I couldn’t go too far, of course.
The Anax had ordered us to stay within the boundaries, and I couldn’t disobey.
None of us could. But I could run, and I did.
Past Xavier, away from the others. They followed.
I heard them behind me, and the human part of my brain started to panic.
But I wasn’t human right now. I was wolf, and I knew that my mate was one of the ones following.
The others were friends. Allies, at least.
I was safe.
Being on four legs felt odd. Wrong. My mind didn’t want to fully integrate with the reality.
I managed to run, though, because I was with my mate. Where I was meant to be. Others were with us, but they were friends. My mate clearly trusted them, so I could too.
As we ran, the tiny portion of human thought that I retained prayed we would hunt no animals tonight. My wolf was fine with that. Tonight was for running. For being free. For being with my mate.
At first, I was reluctant to join in chasing the others in our group.
When Xavier ran at me, I cringed, dropping to the ground to show him I wouldn’t fight back.
I couldn’t understand why he was trying to fight me.
But then he went at Garrett instead, and I realized he was just playing.
Not a fight, but a game. And Xavier was sorry he’d scared me.
I felt the apology through our bond. To show him I forgave him, I joined in the running and chasing.
And I felt free. Right. My body was right. My mind was right.
This was where I belonged. Running beside my mate. And maybe tonight was the night to let him claim me.
The property was huge, large enough to allow hundreds of wolves room to run and take down prey without impeding on each other, though during the night, I heard a few belligerent snarls in the distance.
Each time, I flinched. Each time, Xavier told me not to worry.
No one would hurt me. He was protecting me, and so were our friends.
As the night went on, my body began to feel heavy. Lifting each paw even to walk took effort, never mind running. I slowed, head bowed, and trailed after Xavier and the others until Xavier stopped and hurried back to me. What’s wrong?
Tired. Hurts. There wasn’t actually any pain, but my wolf brain didn’t have the human words to describe what was going on.
He turned his head and yipped at the others, who quickly joined us. We can go back. Feel it? The moon is letting up.
Maybe that was what was making me so heavy. The moon’s effect was wearing off. I didn’t have to be in my wolf body anymore, so maybe the heaviness, the dragging, was my human side trying to get back in control.
I didn’t want to shift back, though. In this form, I was right. I was a man no matter what meat suit I wore, but as a wolf, everything matched. No one looked at me and thought I was just a woman with short hair and guy’s clothes. Everyone knew I was male.
There was nothing I could do about that in human form.
Sure, there were hormones. Surgery, even.
As a homeless guy trying to find enough to eat that my body didn’t break down entirely, those weren’t things I’d been able to access.
Now, with the Anax apparently bankrolling my existence, maybe I could, but I hadn’t thought far enough ahead to decide how or even if I wanted to alter my human body.
Being a wolf was easier. The body matched the mind. But now that Xavier had pointed out that the moon no longer had complete power over us, my human side wanted out.
Let’s go back, I said. Please.
Okay.
I didn’t know if the others would go with us or stay out to run longer. They didn’t need to cut their hunt short just because I wasn’t up to continuing. But as Xavier guided me back toward the house, the three Boston wolves followed.
At the house, a bunch of wolves milled around. A few had started shifting back to human. On the back steps, a human stood, tall, light brown skin, two braids hanging over his shoulders. I couldn’t remember his name, though I knew he was one of the Anax’s allies.
Zane Wolfskin, Xavier said, though I hadn’t asked. Arkhon of the Northeast Region. We aren’t under his rule. We’re directly under the Anax’s rule. But we are technically Northeast Region wolves because that’s where we live.
Oh. Too much information. Even my human brain might not have been able to process it. My wolf brain didn’t care. The only part that mattered was that the human on the steps was a leader.
Our group went back to the spot where we’d shifted earlier. Xavier lay down, and I followed his lead.
Wait, he said. I’ll shift back first. Then help you.
I didn’t answer, just settled myself with my head on my outstretched forelegs and watched as his body shimmered.
My head hurt as I tried to see him shifting, just like when the Anax had shifted back to human form the day I arrived.
My brain couldn’t register the changing form.
My eyes took it in, and my brain rejected it as impossible.
A groan from the side told me that the others were also shifting back.
I didn’t want to be the only wolf in the group, but I waited.
Xavier would help me. I sort of knew how to go back to the human form I didn’t entirely want, but it would be easier with Xavier’s support, just like shifting into wolf had been.
He only took a short time to resume his human form. His completely naked human form, because of course we didn’t magically have clothes when we shifted back. As a wolf, I wasn’t bothered by it, but my human mind had thoughts.
“I’m getting our clothes, and then I’ll help you.” He walked over to a bush and pulled our clothes out from underneath it.
Felicia knelt beside me, with Jamie and Garrett behind her. None of them were wearing anything. Like pretty much all of the other werewolves here, they’d been naked before the hunt. Most people had taken off their clothes inside, probably in their rooms, so things wouldn’t get lost or destroyed.
“You’re okay, Ren,” Felicia said quietly, stretching out her hand toward me in a way that felt similar to earlier, when she’d almost touched me with her snout while I struggled to shift to wolf. “You’ll shift back, and we’ll go inside.”
Inside. Yeah. To my room, where my mate would lie down with me. Maybe hold me.
Maybe claim me. That was what I wanted. To belong completely and forever to Xavier.
Dressed, Xavier sat on the ground next to Felicia. He didn’t speak aloud, but his voice in my mind said, It’s time to shift back. Your body knows how, even if you don’t think it does. Let your human side come back, and the form will change with it.
His words didn’t entirely make sense, but that didn’t matter.
My human side was right there, ready to take back the body.
The body which, unfortunately, would go back to factory specs, but right now, that wasn’t important.
It was time to be human again. Time to stop running on four legs, and stand and walk on two.
Shifting wasn’t quite as bad this time as earlier, but it was far from pleasant.
My body contracting, compressing. Bones moving, changing.
Like before, I wanted to stop partway through, but Xavier’s steady voice in my mind, even though at this point I couldn’t comprehend any words, and Felicia’s soothing, silent presence got me past that point.
Finally, in so much pain I didn’t know if I could sit up, never mind walk into the house, I lay on the ground in my human shape. Xavier held out my clothes. “You don’t have to put these on, but they’re here if you want them.”
“Thanks.” I reached up and took them, and dropped the shirt over my chest and the shorts over my crotch. Hiding. Like usual.
“Your first hunt was a doozy.” With a chuckle, Jamie sat on the other side of me from Xavier and Felicia. “I don’t know of anyone whose first ever hunt happened at one of the gatherings. How do you feel?”
“I don’t even know.” Cautiously, I stretched my arms, then my legs.
Okay, so human brain was back in full effect.
I was a little sad about that, especially lying here with the four of them, because Garrett had joined Jamie, paying attention to me.
But they weren’t looking at me like any kind of freak.
They were there because they knew I’d had trouble shifting, and they wanted to make sure I was okay.
Where that knowledge came from, I couldn’t have said, but I knew I was right.
Panting from the exertion of shifting, I looked up into Xavier’s gorgeous eyes, and my entire body felt like flames were running through it. Not pain. Need. Craving.