Chapter Nine Ren #2
I considered it. Talking about sex had never been as easy for me as doing it, but with Xavier, talking didn’t bother me at all. Like he’d said, it was fun. Playful, which wasn’t something I had a whole lot of experience with.
“Yes, I’m okay with it.” I got up and went over to him. “Another kiss? Just to give you something else to think about.” I hesitated. “You can pick me up if you want. I liked it when you did that in the guest house.”
Without a word, he dropped his clothes on the floor and yanked me up into his arms. God, he was strong! He could have broken me in half if he’d wanted to. Instead, holding me just tightly enough to let me know he wouldn’t allow me to fall, he kissed me.
Only a short kiss this time, but the heat was equal to what we’d created between us before. And then he lowered me to the floor and kissed the top of my head before picking up his clothes. “I won’t be long.”
The wiseass response to that was obvious, but I bit it back as he walked out the door and pulled it closed behind him.
I slipped back under the covers. If kissing and joking around with him was that intense, I could only imagine what sex would be like when we finally got around to it.
The good thing was, I could imagine. Closing my eyes, I slid my hand down over my belly and into my shorts and briefs.
Guy briefs; I’d remembered at the last minute to get myself some new underwear to go with the rest of my clothes.
The fabric was a little rough against the back of my hand. My skin was soft, with prickly hair surrounding the nub I preferred to think of as a cock, even though it was much smaller than one. Size didn’t matter. Guys had cocks. I was a guy.
So was Xavier, and with my eyes closed, the image of his naked body stepping into a shower stall formed so easily I might have been spying on him. Maybe I was. Mates. We could hear each other’s thoughts. Maybe we could see each other when we were apart. Remote viewing or whatever it was called.
Whether it was a real image or just my imagination in overdrive, Xavier’s muscular body, his thick arms and legs, his long, thick dick made my mouth water, and that aching tingle between my legs grew stronger.
I started rubbing my cock with a finger, then two, pretending Xavier’s hand was the one making the little movements as in my mind, I watched him wrap his large hand around his cock and begin to stroke it.
I moved my hand down to insert two fingers inside myself, imagining Xavier’s dick in there.
A sudden tightening around my fingers, fire building in me as I thrust in and out.
Xavier’s body covering mine, protecting me and using me at the same time, but the using was fine because it was mutual.
Maybe not using. Maybe giving to each other.
My breathing became ragged, and in my mental image, so did his.
He murmured my name, and a wave of pleasure slammed into me, so intense it wiped my brain clean for a few seconds.
My body jerked and trembled as my own orgasm hit, overlapping with Xavier’s until I didn’t know whose I was feeling and couldn’t spare the brain power to give a shit.
And then something wrapped around me, an intangible version of Xavier’s hug, soothing, protective, binding me to him.
Gasping, heart pounding, I opened my eyes and yanked my hand out of my shorts.
He hadn’t claimed me. He couldn’t have, not from another room when we were each masturbating, but it sure as fuck felt like our bond was stronger than when he walked out of the room.
I lay there, waiting for my lungs and heart to slow down from overdrive and wishing the pleasure didn’t have to fade with the racing pulse and panting.
I’d never come so hard, especially not by my own hand, and the only explanation was that somehow, Xavier and I had shared a climax.
It wasn’t his orgasm and mine, it was ours, for all the complete lack of sense that made.
I was still coming down when the door slowly opened.
Xavier walked in, looking completely mouth-watering in a light gray button-down shirt and black slacks.
His feet were bare, his hair wet and slicked down but still sticking up in a couple of spots.
The impulse to smooth those spots into place was intense, but I didn’t move.
I couldn’t touch him. Not until I knew what had just happened.
He closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed. “Okay, that was a lot.”
“That’s what you have to say?” I snorted. “Yeah, that’s a fucking understatement.”
“So you did feel it.” He held out his hand.
Hesitantly, I took it, and that little bit of contact strengthened our bond even more. Gazing into his eyes, I inhaled sharply. “You couldn’t have claimed me.”
“No, that wasn’t claiming. That was…Fuck.” He laughed softly. “That was something I’ve never felt, and it was amazing. I could see you, you know. Lying here. Touching yourself. And I could feel you in the shower with me, touching me. I don’t even know.”
His words tumbled out rapidly, spilling over each other until I could barely understand what he was saying. Which was fine, because it was just one more thing I barely understood.
“I saw you too.” My cheeks warmed, and I looked down at our hands.
“I didn’t mean to, like, spy on you. I was fantasizing, but then it wasn’t only a fantasy. I watched you playing with yourself while I did myself, and it felt like…Like you said. You were with me, your hand between my legs, but I was in the shower with you at the same time, and it was…
Why are we trying to fucking analyze it?”
He laughed again, more loudly. “Because that’s who we are, I guess. Have to understand everything. Except we really don’t. We’re mates. We shared an…experience? As good a word as any. We were together. We came together. And that did something to our bond.”
He lightly squeezed my hand. “Are you okay with that? It wasn’t claiming, but you’re more mine than you were. I feel it.”
“So do I.” I bit my lip. Was I okay with it? Who the fuck knew? In the past week or so, too many things had happened. But the one thing I did know was that with Xavier, I was safe. I didn’t have to hide, didn’t have to run. Even if part of me wanted to.
“Yeah, I’m okay with it,” I said quietly.
“Good.” He squeezed my hand and let it go. “I wish I could stay here with you, but I need to get downstairs. It’s still a little early, but I was so late yesterday. I should make a better impression on the Anax and the other guards.”
“I guess.” I smiled. “When does everything start, anyway? So I know how long I can stay up here.”
“The wedding isn’t until after lunch.” He stood. “More wedding guests will be showing up this morning. Not many, mostly just the rest of the members of the two Boston packs, and maybe a few other people. You can come downstairs when you’re ready.”
“Okay.” I wouldn’t be ready. I still felt like an intruder, going to the wedding of people I’d only met a few days earlier, surrounded by others I didn’t know at all.
But unless I was told otherwise, I kind of had to be present for the wedding.
Otherwise, it would be disrespectful to the Anax and Kyle.
“You’re my guest, if that helps,” Xavier said. “My plus-one. You aren’t intruding.”
“Are you reading my mind again?” I raised my eyebrows. I didn’t actually mind if he’d heard my thoughts, though.
“Probably.” He shrugged. “I’ll be downstairs. Don’t worry about dressing for the wedding yet. You’ll have time to change your clothes later. You get to be comfortable for this morning, at least.”
“Good to know.” At least thanks to Suzannah’s shopping assistance, I had clothes that were suitable for a wedding. She’d insisted that it wouldn’t be an overly formal occasion, which helped.
“I’ll see you in a bit.” Xavier hesitated before opening the door, but he walked out without giving me a chance to say anything. Which was fine, because I had no clue what to say.
The morning passed slowly, but the mood was a ton lighter than it had been during the gathering.
Even though there was plenty of chaos and noise, everyone who was here now had shown up to celebrate the Anax and Kyle.
They were happy to be here. Friends. Allies.
With Xavier on duty, I was kind of on my own, but the people I’d already met made a point of including me in conversations, and I genuinely felt like I belonged.
The wedding itself happened early that afternoon, outside on the back lawn.
I’d only sporadically seen the Anax and Kyle together over the past several days, because the Anax was busy with the gathering and Kyle didn’t really have a role in that, but now, watching them together, their love was breathtaking.
Their vows, tailored for the fact that humans who weren’t aware of werewolves were present, warmed my heart.
And when they kissed, I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes.
They were fated mates, like Xavier and me, but they were way more than that.
I didn’t have words for what I sensed between them, but I wanted it.
This was what Xavier and I might be eventually. Lovers. Partners. Forever.
If I could ever accept that forever existed.
Once the ceremony ended, the party began.
Food. Music. People walking around chatting like old friends, which to be fair most of them were, but they even talked to me that way.
Xavier was still on duty, but he walked over to where I was sitting and pulled me to my feet, and he kept my hand in his as he wandered through the yard.
A few people glanced at us and smiled, and that warmed me.
Mine. Xavier was mine. Even if we weren’t declared or claimed or whatever we had to do, we belonged together. Belonged to each other.
“Dance with me,” he said softly as a slow song began to play.
“I don’t dance.” Most of the time, when music played, I clumsily moved my body in something resembling rhythm, but that wouldn’t work for a song like this. Slow, sensual, the kind of song lovers danced to.
We weren’t lovers. Yet. But I felt something for him that maybe was close to love.
What the fuck did I know about it? Love wasn’t supposed to be something you felt for someone you’d just met, but then there was the whole “love at first sight” thing the romance novels babbled about.