Chapter Thirteen Ren #3
By suppertime, when Dr. Gumendo came back to examine me, the pain had died down. I credited Xavier for that. He’d taken care of me, including carrying me to the toilet a couple more times and making sure I didn’t even try to reach for anything. Plus just having him with me made everything better.
I dozed off and on that night. Every time I woke up, I saw Xavier. As the night wore on, he fell asleep on the floor, and I wanted to invite him to share the bed, but that would have required me to wake him. I didn’t know if he’d had any sleep while I was unconscious. I wanted him to sleep now.
In the morning, I woke up as he grunted his way up off the floor. “That’s going to ache for the day,” he muttered, rubbing his lower back. “Sorry I woke you, Ren.”
“You didn’t.” I touched my tongue to my upper lip. “Maybe you did. The line between sleeping and being awake got a little blurry there. It’s okay, though.”
“I have to be on duty in…” He stretched, grimacing, to pick up his phone from the bureau. “Half an hour. I need a shower before I go. I’ll get Seth to let me bring you some breakfast, but I won’t be able to stay with you today.”
“That’s okay.” I hesitated. “Xavier? What I told you the other day? I need…” I swallowed hard. “You weren’t upset that I ran out like that. But what I told you?”
“I wasn’t upset about that either.” Looking concerned, he lowered himself onto the edge of the bed.
“Ren, how could I be? You did what you had to do to survive. You’re here with me because you did what you had to do.”
He took my hand. “I wish you hadn’t had to, but I don’t think any differently about you. I love you.”
He said it so easily I took a beat to register the words. My mouth dropped open, and I yanked my hand out of his. “Don’t. Xavier, you can’t.”
“Can’t love you? He tilted his head. “Or can’t say it? I won’t say it again if it upsets you, but I do feel it, Ren. Not only because you’re my mate. Because you’re you.”
No one had ever said anything like that to me before, and I didn’t know how to react. So I made a stupid joke. “Of course I’m me. Who else would I be?”
He rolled his eyes. “Noted. Save the sappy talk for another time. Do you feel better knowing that hearing about your life on the streets didn’t change what I think of you?”
“Yes.” I looked up at his gorgeous eyes, and my heart swelled. “You can be sappy. Just don’t expect me to always know how to handle it.”
“Also noted.” He lifted my hand to his lips. “I wish I could spend the day with you, but that isn’t in the cards. We can talk through our bond, though, and I’ll come see you if I have a chance. I’ll be back when I’m off duty, if that’s okay.”
“Definitely okay.” I smiled, and the smile he gave in return was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
The day wasn’t as boring as it could have been.
Dr. Gumendo came in with a breakfast tray and pronounced me approved to get out of bed under my own power as long as I only went between my room and the bathroom.
After he left, I ate the breakfast he’d brought and drank coffee that tasted even more wonderful than the water Xavier had given me the day before.
Kyle joined me after breakfast, and we spent the day working on Virtual Haven and the rest of the support groups. He’d done some work while I was unconscious, but there were still things to set up, admins to assign, and so forth.
“You’re valuable here,” he said at the end of the day, as he picked up his laptop and balanced it on the tray that had held our lunches. “Don’t ever forget that. I’m glad you’re healing.”
“Healing’s a lot of work.” I crossed my legs and folded my hands in my lap. “Um, thank you, Kyle. For letting me work with you. For letting me be here.”
“You belong here.” He smiled. “You don’t have to thank me, Ren. I’m heading down for supper, but I’ll poke my head in and say hello later. If you aren’t busy with Xavier.”
My face heated. “I don’t think we’ll be that busy.”
Kyle laughed. “Okay. See you soon.”
A little while later, Xavier showed up at the door with yet another tray. We shared the meal of steak, baked potato, mixed roast vegetables, and apple puff pastry. Even though it was my third meal of the day, I was starving, and I took my time filling my stomach.
When we were finally done, Xavier set the tray on the bureau and returned to the bed. “Is it okay for me to be here?”
“Um, yeah?” Head tilted, I blinked at him. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Just making sure.” He sat down. “I made you uncomfortable this morning.”
“Not exactly uncomfortable.” I bit my lip. “I’m not used to hearing anyone say they love me. We haven’t had much time to get to know each other well.”
“We haven’t. And you’re still coping with everything that happened to you.”
He held out his hand, and I took it. “I’m not promising forever, Ren, because you told me how you feel about that. I’m not asking for anything, either. I just…I saw you that night. On the ground. If I’d lost you, you never would have known how I felt. So I wanted you to know.”
I looked into his eyes. I loved him too. So much. I couldn’t say it, though. I wanted to, but I didn’t quite dare.
“Will you hold me?” I said instead. “Like at the hunt house?”
He smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”