Chapter Sixteen Xavier
The next few weeks passed faster than I would have believed possible.
Ren and I shared a bed almost every night, except for the one night he banned me without giving a reason why.
Not that he needed to tell me when I could smell the menstrual blood, but I very carefully held back from letting him know I was aware of his period.
If he wasn’t comfortable mentioning it, I wouldn’t either.
For a couple of nights after that, he let me sleep beside him, but we kept our clothes on and simply cuddled, which I was totally fine with.
He spent days with Kyle and sometimes Trey and Jamie in the den working on the support groups.
I spent days with the Anax, who met with some of the newer arkhons and alphas, the nearer ones in person and the more geographically distant ones online.
We also made multiple trips to Connecticut Pack territory so the Anax could continue rebuilding and rearranging that pack with leadership that would protect and support all of the pack’s members.
One evening in late July, just before the full moon, Kyle called a meeting of the admin team of Virtual Haven Pack.
Including me. I’d declined to label my orientation, but evidently the fact that I was in a relationship with a trans man was enough to categorize me somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and I didn’t mind it.
I wasn’t straight; I’d known that much for years.
Quinn and Russ joined us by video, and to my surprise the Anax walked into the den and sat beside Kyle.
“I’m not here to interfere,” he said. “I have a few thoughts beyond the online group that I wanted to bring up with all of you. But first, I’d love to hear where you are with all of this. I’ve deliberately not been checking in with Kyle about it.”
“We’re planning a soft launch tomorrow,” Kyle said. “I’ve sent out word to some of the packs, but all I can do is hope the word reaches the right ears.”
“I set up an email account,” Ren said. “Some people might not be able to get onto the video chat system, but just about everyone can access email.”
He sighed. “Not all, unfortunately. Before I was changed, I didn’t have an email. I barely had any way to get online. There might be others like me, living on the street or whatever, but it’s less likely with werewolves, I think. Right?”
“Most werewolves belong to packs,” I said. “Some might be packless. We might have trouble getting word to them.”
“We have to start somewhere,” Russ said.
“Exactly.” Jamie leaned back. “It isn’t possible to reach out to everyone, I don’t think, but we have as many ways as we can. We’re talking about a phone hotline, too.”
“That’s something we’ll get to once the online stuff is up and running,” Ren said. “As far as the email, Jamie and I’ll be responsible for monitoring the account for the most part, but all of us have access.”
“I’ve reached out to some of the packs up here,” Quinn said, his voice slightly tinny through the laptop speakers.
“Same thing Kyle did, just sending out word that this is going to exist and there’ll be a soft launch tomorrow. Yves Diamond is interested in being a moderator, by the way. He’s a friend of Malachi’s and mine. With a human partner who also wants to be involved if we’re allowing that.”
“Jeremiah’s part of it,” Trey said. “He’s traveling with Joel right now so couldn’t join us for this meeting, but he’s one of the admins. If he can, Yves’s partner probably can.” He glanced at the Anax and Kyle. “Not that it’s my place to make that decision.”
“It kind of is,” Kyle said. “I’m just IT.”
“I trust all of you to make the decisions about how the group is run, or I wouldn’t have asked you to participate,” the Anax said.
Kyle rested his hand on the Anax’s. “So it’s up to the group of you whether to let Yves and his partner join and whether either or both of them are made admins, but I would recommend it. I trust Quinn’s judgment, and if we’re letting Canadian werewolves join,
it would probably be a good idea to have more than one Canadian on the admin team.”
“We’ll talk about it,” Ren said. He had taken on more of a leadership role than he’d intended, which made sense since he was the one who’d worked most closely with Kyle on getting everything established.
I was proud of him, and of how far he’d come in the past few weeks.
Not that I told him that. He was still getting the hang of hearing positive things without deflecting them.
“I think it’s a good idea, but the team needs to meet without the Anax and Kyle present to make some plans. Yes?”
“Yes,” Quinn, Jamie, and I said. Trey and Russ echoed us.
“You’re absolutely right, Ren.” The look of approval the Anax gave Ren warmed me, and turned Ren’s face red. “Just a little longer with us, and then we’ll leave and let you finish.”
“You’ll leave.” Kyle looked apologetic. “Sorry, guys, but I still have some tweaks to make.”
“Then bring your laptop into my office and keep me company,” the Anax said. “Laptops are portable, last I knew.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Kyle stuck out his tongue. Everyone laughed.
“Back to the discussion.” The Anax folded his arms. “Virtual Haven Pack. It isn’t a real pack, of course. It can’t be.”
“But in a way it is,” Quinn said. “Pack is family, and we want to become a family for those who are afraid their packs will reject them.”
“Family is heavy for some of us.” Ren reached for my hand.
His was clammy, and I gave it a gentle squeeze. You’re doing great.
Not feeling so great. After this, come upstairs with me?
Absolutely.
Thanks. Ren took a breath. “Whether it’s family-family or pack-family, some people won’t feel safe. They’ll be afraid they won’t be accepted. ‘Pack’ is a little less baggage-y, though. That’s why we’re calling this a pack.”
“I get it,” the Anax said. “That’s why I’ve gone along with the name. But you’ve just brought me to what I wanted to say, Ren. This group will be a haven for those who need it. Some people need more than that, though. A virtual haven won’t be enough. I want to put together a network of safe packs.
Real-world packs with leaders who are…well, I can’t promise they have no prejudices, but they’re accepting of various genders, orientations, et cetera. Some of the people who will come to Virtual Haven not only won’t feel safe, they aren’t safe. We want to give them safety.”
“So that’s what Silas was talking about.” Quinn sounded pleased. “He said something about safe packs last time Malachi and I were at his place. I think it’s a great idea.”
“How would that work, though?” Ren tilted his head.
“Sending werewolves to quote-unquote safe packs? I thought the whole point was so people wouldn’t have to come out if they weren’t ready to. So you and Tobias and the arkhons and alphas wouldn’t know who they are.”
His voice rose, and he tensed, gripping my hand more tightly.
“Are we supposed to just out them to you?”
“We’ve been talking about that.” Kyle held up his hand.
“I hear you, Ren, and I have the same concern. The pack network would be put into play when someone legitimately can’t stay in their current pack. Like, their physical safety or even their life is at risk. I agree no one should be outed against their will,
but maybe if it comes down to a choice between being outed or not surviving…” He shrugged.
“We wouldn’t have to out anyone,” Jamie said.
“If someone joins the group and we have reason to believe they’re in danger, we could encourage them to talk to the Anax, or ask them if we can give the Anax their name. Then it’s still their choice. I think that would be a discussion for the admins of the group, right?”
“Sure.” Ren took a deep breath and pressed against me. I put my arm around him, and he relaxed. “As long as the admins agree that no one’s outed without consent. We’ll talk about that when we talk about Quinn’s recs for admins.”
“I agree,” the Anax said. “Anyone who needs to change packs comes to me of their own free will, or at least gives an admin permission to come to me on their behalf. We’ll fine-tune it as we go. My only contribution is getting in touch with the alphas whose packs I believe would be safe,
and that’s what I’ll be working on today. I’ve already got Justin Ruel and Kirk McCoy on board. We know City and Boston North are safe.”
“Absolutely,” Trey said. “I have a couple of thoughts on how we can get people to the safe packs, but I’ll hold off on that until the admin meeting.”
“Which brings me to one final question, and then Tobias and I’ll leave you to it.”
Kyle sat up straighter. “We’re launching tomorrow. The day after full moon, Virtual Haven will be open to anyone who meets the criteria. We’ve set up a sort of security checkpoint. Anyone who wants to join has to answer some questions and then speak, by video if possible or at least over the phone,
with one of the admins. We have a confidentiality agreement that people who join will be asked to sign onto. All of you sitting here have agreed to be admins, at least while we get this off the ground. Are you still okay with doing that?”
“Keeping a low profile has saved my ass plenty of times.” Ren scoffed. “Guess those days are over.”
“So are the days of needing to save your own ass.” I hugged him briefly, and he took a breath. “I get it, though. We will all be out there. Which means we’ll all be out.”
“Not necessarily,” Quinn said. “I mean, yeah, people will assume we’re LGBTQ-something, but they won’t know for sure. We don’t have to tell anyone anything. I’m in, Kyle.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t.” Ren sighed. “You know I’m in. I wouldn’t have spent all that time helping you build it otherwise.”
The rest of us expressed our agreement. In my case, it was mainly because I didn’t want Ren to have to deal with it alone.
Not that he would have been by himself entirely, with at least four other admins, but he was still so new to all of this.
I wanted to be there for his sake. Though the way he’d taken charge, he didn’t exactly need backup from me.
The Anax and Kyle thanked us all and left the room. “We should order pizza,” Jamie said. “Except of course Quinn and Russ wouldn’t be able to partake.”