Chapter Sixteen Xavier #2
“Yeah, and there’s no damn pizza delivery here in the middle of nowhere Maine,” Russ grumbled. “Though Max is trying to get his boss to start a delivery service. He works in a convenience store nearby.”
“We don’t get delivery here either,” Quinn said. “Or pizza, usually.”
“And just like that, the meeting turns from Virtual Haven to food.” Ren grinned. “Jamie, if you want to order for those of us who are here, go for it. I’ll chip in.”
“I’ll cover it. Y’all can pay me back later.” Jamie took out his phone.
“Meanwhile, confidentiality.” Ren lowered his voice.
“We do have a confidentiality pledge members will be expected to agree to. Personally, I think we need to have stronger measures. Compulsion, maybe. And there needs to be more consequence than just ‘you’re out of the group’ if they break it. We don’t have to figure it out completely right now,
but I want it on our radar. There will be people who join just to start shit. We want to weed them out and make sure they don’t cause harm to anyone else.”
“I hate the idea of compelling people to keep their mouths shut.” Jamie dropped his phone on the cushion beside him. “What’s the point of this group if we can’t trust its members?”
“Unfortunately, whenever humans are involved—or the human aspects of werewolves—people will be dicks,” I said.
“I agree with Ren. Let’s set that aside, though, for now. Play it by ear. I know we want to avoid harm, but maybe we need to assume best intentions, at least with anyone who joins during the soft launch.”
“We’ll sort it out.” With a sigh, Ren pulled away and flopped back, arms folded. “This is a lot. Not what I expected to be doing when I showed up at the hunt house last month.”
“You’re doing amazing,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”
“However we make it work, this is needed.”
Russ spoke passionately, his emotions nearly palpable even through the computer.
“I’ve been the person panicking about anyone finding out I was gay. About being kicked out of my pack, or worse. Hell, that fear made me lose a quarter-century with the man I love. If we help even one person not have to go through that, we’ve done good work.”
His voice trembled. All of us fell silent. Aside from Russ, I was the oldest of the group, but he had at least ten years on me. As bad as things could be for people like us, he’d lived through a time when in many places, it wasn’t safe to be out at all. As a werewolf or a human.
“I’m glad you found Max again,” Quinn said quietly after a moment.
“Not half as glad as I am.” Russ cleared his throat. “Back on topic, please.”
The discussion went on a while longer as we made plans for the soft launch and the public launch of Virtual Haven Pack.
We agreed to Quinn extending an invitation to Yves Diamond and his human partner, Will Mandel, to join the admin team.
After some discussion, we set up admin pairs or groups who would work scheduled hours together so everyone would have backup and would have someone to debrief with without violating confidentiality. Ren and I, of course, paired up.
The pizza arrived, and Quinn and Russ signed off while the rest of us enjoyed the food.
Once Trey and Jamie left, I brought Ren up to his room.
We’d tried sleeping in my room a couple of times, but Ren felt more secure in his, and it didn’t really matter to me which room we ended up in. I just wanted to be with him.
He stripped as soon as I closed the door.
All of his clothes, even his binder. He’d given up wearing it overnight after the night he barred me from sleeping with him.
He still preferred that I not touch his chest, but at least he wasn’t hiding it anymore.
He’d spoken with Suzannah about his desire for top surgery and a hysterectomy, and the two of them were working together to find out whether that would be possible.
The general consensus from everyone they’d spoken to was that the surgical incisions and aftereffects would heal rapidly, but the body parts would remain gone, which made sense.
But they hadn’t yet found anyone who’d had similar surgeries after becoming a werewolf.
“I need you.” Ren flopped onto the bed and held out his arms. “Skin to skin.”
“I have no problem with that.” Quickly I undressed and lay beside him, my head on his chest.
He ran his hand through my hair. “I love this.”
“I love you,” I said, because I knew that was what he meant. He still hadn’t said exactly those words to me, but he came close, as he’d just done.
He squirmed closer to me, and I rested one leg on both of his. Tangled up in each other like this, I felt closer to him than I’d ever imagined feeling to anyone.
“I want you inside me,” he murmured.
“Are you sure?” Each time he’d said it before, he’d backed out.
Understandably, especially with concerns about pregnancy if I fucked his vagina.
I’d bought lube and condoms as planned, but we had yet to use them.
Now, I felt his nervousness about moving on to intercourse.
Hell, I had my own nervousness about the idea.
A long time had passed since I’d fucked anyone, and there were too many ways I could screw it up.
I didn’t tell Ren about my misgivings. If I felt his worry, he almost certainly felt mine. All I said was, “We don’t have to.”
“I want to.” He nudged me off him and rolled to his side to open the drawer of his nightstand, where we’d stashed the condoms and lube I’d bought a few weeks ago. “I mean, if you’re okay with it, I’m sure, Xavier. It’s…Fuck, maybe because the full moon’s in a couple of days? I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to justify it.” I rubbed gentle circles on his back. “If it’s what you want, it’s what I want.”
He turned back to me, lube bottle and a condom in hand. “Do you? Want it?”
“As long as you aren’t expecting perfection, I would love to be inside you.” I held out my hand. “Come here.”
He didn’t move. “Do we need the condom? I don’t… Anal.” His face went red. “If that’s okay.”
“Yeah.” That would take a little more preparation and a lot more caution on my part so I didn’t hurt him, but I was fine with it. However we did this would be beyond worth it. “I mean, yeah, that’s okay. The condom is up to you.”
“Then no.” He tossed it over his shoulder. Somehow, it landed in the drawer, which he’d left open.
He didn’t say anything more. Setting the lube bottle beside the pillow, he rolled on top of me and started kissing the spot that always got me going. With a moan, I wrapped my arms around him and ran one hand down his back to his ass.
I’d dreamed of fucking him. Literally, to the point that a couple of times, I’d had to roll out of bed and run to the bathroom to finish myself off.