Chapter 32
Days transpire, and my entire body feels on the brink of rebellion.
My head throbs endlessly, even with the tinctures and Alys’s healing.
The dizzy spells come more frequently, and my back and bum twinge incessantly.
Even dismounted, everything hurts—my thighs scream at me as we trek up a mountain.
I focus as best as I can on the path ahead and not on the crumbly edge of the mountain where death taunts us.
Tiernan has been teetering between simmering silence and tenderness almost constantly.
It seems that the farther east we travel, the more tense he becomes, and the less he seems to sleep.
Often, when I wake in the mornings, he’s no longer on the bedroll beside me.
He’s always quick to bring me a tincture or even to heal me so Alys doesn’t need to exert more energy than she already does, but he becomes more and more withdrawn.
Every day I ask him if he’s doing alright, and every day he says he’s fine.
But there’s a look in his eyes I cannot quite figure out, and the more I remind him that he can tell me anything, the less he seems willing.
I try not to let the frustration get to me as we hike up the mountain at the start of the late afternoon.
I mull over my ancestry, wishing I had time to talk to Alys privately about my birth parents and her history with them.
It still stings knowing that the only parents who’d ever been part of my life weren’t related to me by blood.
That Taig isn’t even related to me by blood.
Part of me is angry that Alys didn’t tell me the truth sooner—that she had these suspicions about me and chose to keep them to herself—but had I been in the same position, perhaps I would’ve done the same thing.
Still, it feels like another betrayal of sorts, and with Osheen traveling with us as well, Ava not speaking to her mother, and Tiernan being unbearably secretive, there’s enough tension in our group to cut with a knife.
Isobel is always a tension breaker. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her in a bad mood.
She seems to have endless energy and chatters almost nonstop.
She’s been trying to learn more signs, but she often forgets that she needs to sign for me to understand.
Still, I find it endearing, and I find myself wishing I had her enthusiasm for everything.
Her sibling is the opposite—much like Ava, they always seem unimpressed.
They’re one of very few words, but never malevolent and always helpful.
We’re trudging through a grassy forest of tall trees packed close together when the sun begins its descent. Ava calls for a stop. We’re all dragging our feet—all in desperate need of a good night’s sleep.
Isobel and Sloan make a fire, and Chiyo approaches me as the others patrol to ensure the coast is clear. “This place reminds me of Dubh Carrig,” she says.
I glance around and smile. “I can see why. Do you miss it there?”
“I do. I wish I could exchange letters with my mam more frequently, but … I don’t want to waste all our enchanted parchment, of course.”
“Of course. It wouldn’t hurt to use one though.”
She chuckles. “Look who’s embracing her rebel identity!”
I laugh, and my back protests, but it’s worth it. Tiernan returns, a smile on his face. “There’s a private spot near the river. Perfect for bathing,” he reports.
“Great,” says Chiyo. “Ladies first.” She slings her arm around me as a look of disappointment, if I’m not mistaken, crosses Tiernan’s face. I raise a brow at him, but he seems to remember to school his features into a carefree expression.
I cast out my thoughts to him. “Unless you want time to talk or something?”
Tiernan shakes his head. “Go ahead. Chiyo’s excited.” Even as he mind speaks, Chiyo releases me, seemingly calling to the other ladies. Ava and Isobel look our way, but Alys smiles and politely declines.
I look to Tiernan again, but I’m barely able to even think clearly before he says, “Next time. You and me.”
I pull up my mental shields firmly as I think, I’ll believe it when I see it.
Chiyo runs off to gather my pack and a couple of lanterns.
Then the four of us set off through the forest again, heading in the direction Tiernan mentioned.
Isobel is practically skipping ahead as we walk while I can’t decide whether to distribute my weight onto the balls or the heels of my feet.
No matter how I step, it aches, and I fight not to hobble.
I am not made for constant traveling. The trees clear slightly, giving way to a grassy mound.
Flat, moss-speckled rocks form steps down to a small body of water surrounded by shrubs and stony walls.
As uncomfortable as it is to disrobe in front of the others, everyone is respectful, and we get into the river with limited awkwardness.
Despite the overwhelming cold, my body craves the comfort of the water.
Silence falls between us all as we take in this rare comfort.
I lift my gaze from the water and stare across at Ava, who regards me with a stern expression.
I hold my breath and submerge myself, getting my hair saturated before beginning to unravel my braid.
I wince again and again as I untangle the mess of curls.
Never have I been so tempted to chop it all off.
Ava looks similarly aggrieved—her hair is more tightly curled, thicker, and far longer than mine.
It’s beautiful, but I don’t envy her after trekking halfway across the kingdom.
Chiyo swims toward the rock and grabs soap to lather her skin while Isobel waves her arms suddenly. “Let’s play a game!” she says.
The three of us narrow our gazes on her. Sometimes she is just so … young. I nearly laugh at the thought. I’m only twenty-three, yet I feel like I’ve aged so much in the past four months since leaving Cluain Baile that a twenty-year-old seems juvenile.
“Never have I ever,” says Isobel. “Come on. We could use some fun.”
“What’s so fun in—” Ava starts, but Chiyo interrupts her with a look.
“Alright, who’s going first?” Isobel asks.
Chiyo lifts her hand to tamp down Isobel’s enthusiasm. “Isn’t ale required for this game?”
Isobel’s face falls, and I feel guilty to be relieved in the face of her disappointment. She heaves a visible sigh, and Chiyo takes pity on her.
“Alright, alright, fine. But let’s make it interesting. How about …” Chiyo purses her lips in concentration, her dark eyes focused. “Whoever loses does all the menial tasks—horse grooming and such—for a day?”
Ava flicks her eyes skyward with annoyance and tips her head back.
Chiyo and Isobel look at me expectantly. I make a face, but before I can say anything, Isobel raises her hand, beaming as she waves it in the air, and I find myself unable to ruin her excitement.
“Alright …” Chiyo translates for me as best as she can after asking the question. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”
Isobel makes a thoughtful face. “Does Sloan count?”
Chiyo raises her brows.
“On the cheek!”
Chiyo bursts out laughing, as does Isobel, and I cannot help but chuckle lightly. I grab my own bar of soap and rub through my hair, massaging my scalp with my fingers and once again trying to get through what feels like hundreds of tangles.
Chiyo’s face scrunches in thought. She looks at me, swatting her hand as if shooing a fly. “We all know who you’ve kissed most recently, Durvla. What about before that?”
I shake my head, slightly embarrassed.
Her face softens, as if she’s spotted a puppy. “That’s so very sweet,” she says.
I slide down further into the water, my ears feeling hot.
Chiyo turns to Ava who raises her brows at her. “What are you looking at me for?”
“Have you kissed anyone?”
Ava smirks. “Have you?”
Chiyo’s face turns red all the way up to the silvery roots of her hair. Ava’s lips flatten, but her attempt to keep from laughing fails, and she claps her hand over her mouth, which only makes Chiyo start laughing too.
At last, Chiyo says, “My neighbor, Claude. Your turn.”
Ava rolls her eyes. “I didn’t ask to be part of this ridiculous game.”
Chiyo splashes her, and to my surprise, Ava splashes her right back. Isobel shrieks, ducking for cover before moving away and dissolving into giggles. I remain at a safe distance, unable to resist smiling.
When the splashing settles down, Ava says, “I have, but it was meaningless.”
Chiyo’s cheeks pinken again. “That’s how I felt about Claude,” she says, her signs coming a heartbeat later.
She and Ava exchange lingering gazes, as if Isobel and I have ceased to exist.
Isobel lifts her limp hair, the red hue darkened from the water. “I’ll be detangling this bird’s nest for a thousand years still after we get out of this water,” she says.
I sigh. “Same.”
Ava returns to painstakingly unbraiding one of her long, thick plaits. “Don’t even get me started.”
We finish washing up and get out of the river, discreetly drying ourselves and getting dressed. As I sit on a large boulder, rolling on my socks, I feel someone watching me. Isobel’s looking my way.
She blushes and lowers her head for a moment before facing me again. “Apologies, I was admiring your tattoo,” she says.
I roll the sleeve of my tunic back farther so she can see the tattoo better. “Thank you. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would permanently put ink on my skin.”
She reciprocates my smile. “Why did you?”
Chiyo and Ava look on once they’re dressed. Ava finger-combs through her thick, curly tresses that fall to her waist.