Chapter 33
Avoiding Tiernan is impossible when I’m stuck riding with him.
As frustrated as I am with how things are between us, I don’t want to draw attention to the situation more than we already have.
We’re nearly three weeks into our travels, and based on the map, we’re supposed to be near Siad Nahar by now.
Yet we seem to be walking to no avail, and things are stressed enough for everyone without the petty issues between Tiernan and me worsening things.
The mountains are like a labyrinth. Somehow, the path we drew on the map doesn’t align with the path we’re taking. We stop more often than usual to calibrate and figure things out, but where we’d hoped to find a trail into what should be Siad Nahar, there are mountains too tall to scale.
We camp again. Ava, Chiyo, and Tiernan pore over the maps while Sloan and Isobel engage in a weapons-only spar—as declared by Ava—beside the campfire.
Chiyo and Ava chat with comfortable familiarity, Chiyo placing a hand on Ava’s knee as she says something.
To my surprise, Ava smiles with warmth I didn’t even know she was capable of, then addresses whatever Tiernan says.
It tugs a smile from me as well, as I peel pieces from a twig just to keep my hands busy.
I miss the everyday life at the Verge. At Cluain Baile. I miss Taig so much it hurts. With that thought, my gaze roams past Alys, who’s brewing tea at the campfire, to Osheen sitting by himself.
He looks so forlorn. He’s not given us another reason to mistrust him, but I’m still sore about what he did.
I understand he’d been trying to save his family; Iywan’s threat to hang them if Osheen didn’t do his bidding must have been horrifying.
Still, I cannot shake the thought that he would’ve allowed the Verge to be infiltrated.
Osheen’s auburn hair appears bright red in the sun as he meets my gaze from across the campsite. For once, I don’t turn away from him. His face remains earnest for a moment before he offers me a tentative smile. I don’t reciprocate.
Isobel and Sloan stop sparring at last. Sloan puts their sword away and rubs their stub as if it’s gotten sore, and Isobel claps them on the back.
Then Ava steps up, leaving Chiyo and Tiernan behind.
She points to Sloan, challenging them, and they smile briefly.
Pulling their sword from the scabbard at their hip again, Sloan gets into a fighting stance. Ava mirrors and immediately lunges.
Both warriors are quick, their swords catching sunbeams with each swing.
The pair seem equally matched, but Sloan strikes with wilder swings, countering Ava’s precise, deadly attacks.
The point of Ava’s sword ends up against Sloan’s chest. Sloan seems unsurprised but nevertheless impressed.
With a satisfied smirk, Ava steps back and lowers her sword as Sloan gives her a small bow and steps aside.
Sheathing her sword, Ava glances around, then points at me. When I continue to gawk at her, she waves me toward her, aggression in the gesture. Having gained everyone’s attention, my pulse quickens. I carefully get to my feet, brushing my hands over the seat of my trousers.
Tiernan moves closer as I approach Ava. He seems ready to object, but refrains.
I don’t even have the time to get fight-ready before Ava swings at me with such force that wind rushes over my head as I duck.
When I stand upright again, I step and punch, but she simply leans to the side, avoiding it with such ease that my next punch is strictly out of annoyance.
Her perpetual look of boredom grows substantially.
After a while of me punching and her dodging with embarrassing composure, I’m tired, frustrated, and nearly ready to call it quits. Then, instead of blocking yet again, she throws a punch, and I summon a wall of darkness that stops her strike.
With a mild grimace of pain, she shakes out her hand and I lower the shadows. “Now you’re using your head,” she signs.
“I— I’m sorry, what?” Confusion furrows my brows. “I thought there was a no magic rule?”
Ava rolls her eyes. “There are no rules in warfare. Except: save your ass. I said weapons only. Your powers are your weapons.” Her leg comes flying at me, and I throw up another shadow shield, though this one causes me to fall onto my bottom.
The shield dissipates, and Ava lunges at me, but I immediately push my palm out toward her, releasing dark vines of vapors that coil around her arms. Clenching my fists, I tug at the vines and they tighten, anchoring her arms to her body as she struggles.
A child’s voice resounds in my head. Mama, please don’t go.
Sweetling, I have to. But I promise I’ll return soon. Alys’s voice.
Large hazel eyes in a familiar face, far younger than the one before me right now, fills my mind.
Pain, sorrow, and anger move through me.
I release the hold of my shadows, and the images fall away.
When the present surroundings rebuild around me, Ava is on the ground, her chest heaving as though the wind has been knocked out of her. Chiyo is at her side.
A deep tremor runs through my body, energy seeming to drain from me even though I’m still seated on the ground. An eerily familiar pressure builds in my head, squeezing my throat … It’s almost suffocating. I force down a deep breath.
Tiernan kneels beside me. “Are you alright?”
I nod and refocus on Ava as the woman shoves Chiyo’s arm away and unsteadily gets to her feet.
Her eyes are wide, homed in on me. I shrink beneath her gaze, but then her eyes soften, and she says, “Whatever you just did. Don’t forget it.
” She rubs at her arm, her sternum, a faraway look in her eyes.
“What did you do?” Tiernan signs.
“I—I’m not sure. I saw …” I glance at Ava, who looks more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her. She rolls some of her braids into a pile atop her head, securing it with a gossamer black scarf as her gaze sears me. I’ll keep what I saw to myself; it isn’t my place to share her trauma with others.
“I saw a memory. And I suppose … I wielded it?” I say.
Chiyo’s jaw drops. “Shit, Durvla. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I do.”
I … don’t know how to react.
Ava sighs. “Had we known you could do this before …” A muscle feathers in her cheek. She tucks another braid into the scarf and jerks her chin toward Tiernan. “Practice on your man.”
I glance at Tiernan, who pales, and my heart sinks. I can’t do that to him—we’re hardly even on speaking terms at the moment.
Chiyo waves to catch my attention and says, “What about on me? Or Isobel? Or Sloan?” Bless her for trying to spare me the awkwardness of this.
Ava shakes her head. “No. Tiernan is the Mind Whisperer and the Empath. They’re a match made for this twisted situation. Tiernan, you know how mind magics work … use it.”
I press my hands over my cheeks as if it could stop the heat from infiltrating. I half expect Tiernan to look away, but he doesn’t. Our gazes align, and there are so many emotions in his face, in the tension of his posture … I can’t handle it with everyone looking at us.
I turn to walk away, but Tiernan’s hand lands lightly on my shoulder. I face him, though the movement is a little too quick for my head. But I don’t allow him to see the dizziness that immediately sets my vision wavering.
Until he signs something, and I miss what he says. I close my eyes and his hand envelops mine, giving it a little squeeze. His expression is drawn with worry when I look at him again. “What do you need?”
I tug my hand away. “Nothing.” I’ve tried so hard to connect with him, while he’s hardly told me anything about himself. Yes, I know about Maura, but that’s the extent of things.
He steps a little closer. “Can we talk? Privately? Or do you need me to drop to my knees right here in front of everyone and beg your forgiveness? I will, you know.”
His eyes crinkle at the corners, but I avert my gaze. I sense a shift in my peripheral vision. Then … Oh gods, he’s not really—
“Tiernan, no,” I say, grabbing his arms as he’s about to take a knee.
He pauses mid-kneel and straightens up again. Though he maintains a straight face, his lips twitch, dark eyes twinkling. I scowl at him to keep from laughing at his restrained amusement.
“We can talk. Just, please don’t draw any more unnecessary attention to us.”
My hands are still gripping his biceps, and he’s standing so close, his head inclined to mine. I want to kiss him and tell him everything’s fine.
I release him. I can’t keep sweeping the unpleasant moments under the rug. Without another word, we walk off together, stepping away from the others and behind scraggly bushes that barely provide any privacy.
Tiernan draws in a deep breath and runs his hand down his face before sitting in the gravelly dirt and patches of grass. I sit in front of him when prompted.
“I never wanted to shut you out,” he signs gently.
“I just …” He hesitates, his hand moving to the side of his neck where the scar mars his otherwise smooth, fair skin.
“You accidentally walked into my dream back in Paramount, and other times since,” he motions.
“I’d like to willingly let you in. To show you my past.”
I try not to look surprised, but my brows lift of their own volition. “Are you certain? I’m not even sure if I can—”
He takes my hand and kisses my fingers before pressing my palm against the scar vining up his neck. His eyes close, and I allow myself a brief moment to admire the contours of his face, the stubbly line of his jaw. There are more silver streaks in his hair now than when I’d first met him.
With a deep breath, I close my eyes and lower my shields, letting his magic flow through me as surely as I let mine flow through him. Our powers twine around each other, his warm aura mingling with my shadows and stars, and slowly I tumble into his past, into the Fortress on the Mount.