Chapter 53
“No. Fucking. Way!” Ava exclaims, lurching to her feet from where she’d been sitting on the couch in the Kilkenny household’s sitting room. “Absolutely not.”
Sloan looks unperturbed, as always. Isobel, Chiyo, and Osheen are wide-eyed.
Alys’s face is fixed, her full lips pursed as if she’s trying to restrain herself.
She’s the very opposite of Ava, who stands in front of me with her fists on her hips.
Haruka is unsurprised, having already heard my idea earlier.
Ava looks around. “No one else has anything to say about this?”
Alys scoots to the edge of the chair, her ankles crossed beneath one of her flowy multicolored skirts and not the trousers she’s been traveling in. “I’m with Ava,” she says. “It’s too dangerous.”
“It’s dangerous simply existing,” I say. “Last time we were here, remember how that ended? We’re in danger everywhere.”
Ava pulls one of her freshly twisted plaits through her fists over and over—as if she just needs something to do with her hands. “Jumping right into the castle is foolish, regardless. You’ll be killed on sight.”
I straighten my back, putting my brave face on. “I’m a Basduun.” The smile that twitches on my lips feels forced and unnatural—I don’t doubt it looks that way too. “I’m of value to the Zenith for whatever reason.”
“And what, pray tell, do you plan to do once you’re in the damn castle?”
The blood drains from my face. Admittedly, I’m not certain.
“You can’t do it alone,” Chiyo says. “We can come up with a solid strategy. I’ll go with you.”
Ava’s head snaps to her. “You cannot be serious!” She signs as she speaks, ensuring that I get every word.
“We could create some kind of diversion and allow Durvla to get into the castle. Vanish in and vanish Tiernan out.”
“Oh, it’s that simple, is it?” Ava asks with a sardonic laugh.
“And how the fuck do you propose doing that without knowing exactly where Tiernan is in the castle? What if there are wards to prevent people from vanishing in? If it was that simple, don’t you think the Purists would’ve stormed the castle by now? ”
Chiyo shrugs. “Perhaps they’ve tried.”
“They would’ve needed an object from Paramount or to have physically been there before,” Osheen chimes in.
“I have physically been there before,” I say.
Ava seems lost for words for a moment, her mouth opening and closing before she finally finds something sensible to say. “Have you all forgotten who the sovereign is? He owns the entire Royal Brigade, the Zenith, the Veilguards … He owns every force in Erleya. He owns Erleya!”
“What if someone from the inside—someone working with him—can help us?”
All eyes turn to me.
“Winnie, the Terraforger, is in the castle right now. I know she isn’t fully on the sovereign’s side. I just need to convince her to help us.”
Isobel waves her hand to get my attention. “Do you think you can?”
“Yes.” My hands shake. I know very well just how stubborn Winnie has been about not helping.
Standing beside the couch where Isobel sits, Sloan runs a hand through their hair—the only indicator of anxiety. “The possibility of getting her to help is not good enough,” they say. “We need something more solid. We need her word.” Ava gestures dramatically to them, her head bobbing in agreement.
I gnaw on my lower lip. I know Sloan and Ava are right, but this is the best idea we have.
Ava looks between me and the others. Out of desperation, she even looks to Osheen. “How do you feel about this, Sulky? Do you think any of this makes sense?”
He swallows noticeably and picks invisible lint off his trousers. When he glances up, he looks directly at me. “Tiernan did everything to save us,” he signs. “We should at least try to get him out.”
I can imagine steam coming out of Ava’s ears. She looks at Haruka as the woman enters the room with a tray bearing a teakettle, and then to Alys. “Mam, tell them this is a terrible idea.”
Alys hesitates but doesn’t say anything.
Ava huffs and storms out of the house, the couch quivering slightly as she slams the door. Haruka sets the tray down on the low table, then steps out of the way.
No one speaks for some time until Alys breaks the tension. “It is an immense risk. You could die. We all could.”
“I know,” I admit. “But I have to try. We cannot afford to wait for a rebel army to storm the castle. Tiernan could be dead by then.” I fight the tears that threaten to come. “If you can all help me train a bit more in the next couple of days, I’d appreciate that. Then one day to rest.”
“Sweetling, you must also consider all the factors logically.”
“All I’ve done my whole life is think logically about everything, Alys. And still, I was taken from my home, arrested twice, and I’ve been running from mercenaries and now two different organizations.”
She nods. “I understand but still, think about it.”
I shift my gaze from Alys to Osheen and find him looking back at me. It’s time I spoke to the man. It’s long overdue. “Whether I receive help or not, I’m going to do this. I’d rather die trying than live with the knowledge that I didn’t.”
As I step out of the house for fresh air in the evening, I find Osheen sitting on the grass, turning a rock over in his hands again and again.
As he hears me, he glances my way and my breath catches unpleasantly.
I close my eyes and pray for courage, for patience, for the strength to forgive him.
Without a word, I sit down on the grass in front of him, and moisture immediately seeps into my trousers.
I grimace. “Why are you sitting in the wet grass?”
He smirks, his face more ruggedly handsome than I remember it. “It’s not that bad,” he signs after setting the rock down. His smile fades when I don’t reciprocate. He smooths his hands over his trousers repeatedly.
At last, he voices the words it seems he’s been fighting not to say. “I miss you, Durvla.”
I clench my fists only to loosen them again. Perhaps it would be polite to say that I miss him too, but the words sound wrong in my mind. “I’m having a hard time forgiving you.”
His jaw tightens. He scratches at his beard, which has grown thick again. “I deserve that,” he gestures.
“You do,” I gesture back. “I understand you wanted to protect your mam and Granny. You know I love them. But I trusted you to look after Taig. I trusted you more than I trusted anyone else in this world. You were my best friend. You could’ve told me the truth.
We could’ve figured something out together.
Maybe we could’ve destroyed the scrying tether.
You didn’t give us the chance to defend ourselves. You took the coward’s way out.”
Surprise crosses his face, deep grooves in his forehead. But then his frown slowly curves upward into a smile, his forehead smoothing out.
“Why on Rhianu’s earth are you smiling?” I sign sharply.
“You’ve changed,” he says.
My brows knit together firmly.
“You would’ve never spoken your mind like that. Although your face always showed more emotions than you intended, you kept your thoughts to yourself. Even when you should’ve spoken up.”
My lips tug down—I don’t know what to say.
“It’s a good thing. And you’re right. I had no excuse. I’ll spend a lifetime trying to make it up to you. Whether you forgive me or not, I’m glad you’re talking to me now. I think you should go to Paramount. I’ve seen you and Tiernan together. I understand why you need to do this.”
I press my fingertips lightly against my eyelids as though it can keep the tears away. Osheen’s hand rests on my arm, and when I open my eyes, he’s looking at me with a familiar warmth I don’t want to remember. I can’t fully let my guard down.
“I don’t want you to come to Paramount,” I say.
He frowns and starts to say something, but I interject.
“You know too much about the Purists and about everything we’ve encountered.
Important information that should be passed on to Dayfyd and Chief Badeaux.
If all fails, get back to the Verge … Tell Taig about me. Don’t let him forget about me.”
Tears swiftly leak from Osheen’s eyes, and he bats them away. He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze before letting go to sign, “Just stay alive and you can tell Taig yourself.”
I laugh through my tears and nod. “I’ll try my best. For now, I still need to figure things out.”
“I’m sure you will. I believe in you.”
I approach Alys and Haruka where they sit in the kitchen chatting over tea and honey cake. They both glance up at me, weary smiles on their faces. “Everything alright, sweetling?” Alys asks.
“This may be an odd question, but do you know anything about amplifiers?”
Alys looks slightly startled, but Haruka seems intrigued.
“The Lightweaver who trained me back in the Verge mentioned something about them,” I explain.
“Ah,” says Haruka. “I know that usually it requires an elemental or celestial gemstone or something—old magic, but they’re good natural amplifiers. They can even be used to imbue potions.”
Alys’s eyes go wide. “Where did you hear such a thing?”
“Niall. It seems the Purists have a plethora of loopholes for magical use.”
I pull the handkerchief-wrapped moonstone from my pocket and slowly open it in the palm of my hand.
“Gods above and below, that’s …” Haruka’s eyes go wide.
“Dayfyd gave it to me. He said it belonged to my birth mother.”
Haruka doesn’t even bat an eye at that. Of course, she knows the woman who raised me wasn’t the one who gave birth to me.
“Unfortunately, you’d need a Sorcerer to turn it into an amplifier. I’m sorry I cannot be of better help.”
I look to Alys desperately. “Are you able to conjure something?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve focused on healing my whole life.
Runes are tricky, abstracting and imbuing is even trickier.
The tinctures I make are the extent of my potion making abilities.
Your birth mother—Morwenna—was brilliant with runes and potions.
It’s how both your and Carys’s powers were so securely dampened for decades. ”
I sigh, my shoulders slumping. That’s unfortunately unhelpful at the moment. I do know some runes, but not for amplifying. “Alright, thank you.” I start to get up, but Alys reaches across the table to place her hand on mine.
“You know, perhaps it runs in the family. You may be able to learn. We’ll look into it as soon as we can, alright, sweetling?”
As soon as we can is not soon enough, but I smile and nod. “Wait …” I wet my lips. “Can you tell me more about Morwenna’s powers? How did she get away with honing them when she was the queen? Without anyone knowing?”
“Ah.” Alys drums her fingers on the table, and I clasp my hands together to keep from fidgeting with nervous energy.
“Morwenna used to unleash her shadows in a wooded area close to her home. She’d actually been doing exactly that the first time I met her.
” Her smile is wistful. “She’d also meditate frequently to strengthen her mind.
It helped her learn to better control her dreamwalking.
“She was a prodigy—and a powerful one at that. She was also an Oracle, though unlike her other powers, she had no control over her visions. As Dayfyd mentioned, she was plagued by prophetic nightmares. Mainly about her children.” Alys’s throat works as she swallows hard.
“Her abilities extended beyond creating dreamscapes—she could manipulate memories by infiltrating people’s subconscious.
It’s how, when Carys accidentally killed Aneirin, Morwenna was able to make it so that no one remembered. ”
My gut twists. “Terrifying,” I breathe.
“Indeed. But, like you, she never wanted to be a Basduun. She only practiced to remain in control; she only used the darker aspects when it was absolutely necessary.”
I let her words sink in for a while longer. Could I be like Morwenna since her blood flows through me? Could I learn to control my powers to such an extent?
At last, I thank them both for taking the time to talk to me before stepping outside to get some time to myself. Somehow, I’ll have to embody Morwenna’s control, because I’ll need it to enact the first part of my plan.