Chapter 17 #3
I hum my acceptance, moving my fingers to lightly circle my bud of nerves. The truth is, I’ve had to get myself off too often. I don’t want to do it any more than he wants me to. I’ll come on his fingers, his tongue, his dick…not myself. Not by myself, anyhow.
He pushes forward again, this time with a bit more force. I still gag, but I smile around him, urging him on. Grady keeps going. Faster and harder. My mind wanders through time, landing on a different night. One of many. So many. All the same.
“Whore.”
“Little slut.”
“You take it like it’s your job.”
Words that initially were meant to harm, but I grew to love. Because they felt true. The only truth I had amid the lies and lies and lies. It was my job. Follow the rules. Do as you’re told.
“Lou.”
Take it. Whenever he wanted. Whatever he wanted.
“Lou.”
He degraded me all day. Every day. But I liked it during sex. The punishment of it. Because at least, then, I got something back. A small token of power that let me know I still had some. Somewhere.
“Louisa!”
I blink rapidly, Grady coming into view as he kneels in front of me. Eye to eye.
“Where did you go?”
“Call me your whore.”
“What? No,” he says angrily. “No, baby. I won’t do that. Is that what he did?”
“It’s what I was to him.”
“No, Lou. It’s not what you were. It’s not what you are,” he says, pulling me to his chest. “Don’t ask me to be him. I won’t do it.”
“I’m sorry,” I plead, struck with guilt.
“I know, Lou,” he soothes. “Is it what you like, or what you learned?”
“I’m not sure anymore.” Nothing about my life with Pierre makes sense anymore.
Honestly, nothing about my life before I came to Stowaway makes any sense.
I wasn’t very experienced before Pierre.
I’d had some casual one-night stands, a couple of very short-term boyfriends.
Nothing that amounted to a well-rounded sexual resume, by any means.
I didn’t know what I liked. Maybe I still don’t.
“Some days, I think I wasn’t real until I came here. ”
“Who you are here, with me, was always there,” Grady says, peppering kisses over my face. “Let that part of you live, Lou. Let’s find out what she really likes.”
“You still want to?”
“I still want you,” he says, staring into my eyes. “I’ll always want you, Louisa.”
“You mean that,” I say, seeing the truth of it on his face.
“Of course, I fucking do. And damn him to hell for making you question your worth,” he says before sealing his lips to mine in a searing kiss.
I dive into his mouth, wrapping my arms around his wide shoulders, pulling us closer.
Grady stands, carrying me as if I weigh nothing, down the hallway and into the room I’ve claimed as my own. When he drops me onto the bed, I bounce once, then settle in the plush duvet. He stands at the end. Watching, stroking his long dick.
“What was it you said you wanted?”
“My face in your cunt,” he says, and I spread my knees for him.
“I know I like that,” I say, coyly.
“Let’s see how much.” He dives at me, and I laugh for only an instance before my air comes in gasps because, my God, that mouth. It takes me whole, trying to swallow me down as Grady’s nose tickles over my clit. His tongue fucks me, his fingers gripping my thighs and pulling them around his head.
Locking my ankles over his back, I writhe like a snake in heat. All my focus is on that talented mouth and what it is doing to me. Driving me into a frenzy as he circles my walls. Nips at my sensitive lips. Suckles my nerve endings.
With my legs where he wants them, his hands move to other body parts. One on my stomach, one on my left breast, kneading my nipple into an impossibly hard pebble. He pinches, and I arch off the bed, calling his name.
He hums in appreciation, and it sends a wave of pleasure from my core to my throat.
“Grady,” I scream as I come in waves, like the ones outside my window. My orgasm ebbs and flows into him. A passing of energy, life force, something invisible but powerful. Intimate. The most intimate. “Fucking hell, am I going insane, or have I never had a true orgasm before?”
His body shakes with laughter as I try to regulate my accelerated heart rate. Small kisses are pressed to my thighs, intertwined with little licks as he tastes more of what he brought out of me.
My blood races again, and Grady crawls up my body. So large over me, but it doesn’t bring fear. His shadow is a blanket of protection. Once again, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, returning kisses to whatever piece of skin I can reach with my lips.
His arms snake under my knees, pulling them up to frame his body as his dick plunges into me. It steals my air in the best way.
Like the first time, we both freeze, for a moment, gazing at each other. Feeling each other. The fullness, the tightness. The togetherness. It’s never been like this before, not with anyone else. I’ve never experienced this tether to another person, this cord between us. This spark.
I can’t explain it away. Or rationalize it. I can only revel in it.
Fuck me, I try to say. But the words come out differently.
“Love me, Grady.”