9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Sienna
Dante killed Edward for me and I said thank you.
A part of me is shocked to the core by this. The last thing I should be doing is thanking the man who kidnapped me for killing the man who beat me but it happened and I don’t feel any regret for it.
My body is covered with bruises from how hard Edward kept kicking me. It really is a miracle I wasn’t hurt worse.
I lay in bed all day, sleeping the pain away. Dante only returns to give me food and then leaves. That’s all right with me. I need time to think about how I feel for him. My relationship with him.
I’ve let him use sex toys on me. I let him use a dildo on me in front of other people.
It was the most intimidating moment of my life but I also secretly liked it.
The thrill of it. My entire life growing up was sheltered.
Constrained by God. My father wanted one thing for me and deep down, a part of me always wanted something else.
I was raised to want to wait for marriage. I was told to believe in it.
But now I’m not so sure I want to believe in it.
This darkness that Dante is bringing out in me is terrifying. I killed that cop without regret. I don’t feel any guilt over Dante killing Edward. Is there something seriously wrong with me? I’m not sure. Probably.
Yet, in my body, I don’t feel like there is. Dante still frightens me in so many ways. He also confuses me. Knows how to light my body on fire. Protects me from the man who beat me. Is also the reason I’m in this position in the first place.
I should hate Dante and want him dead. A part of me still does. If he were dead, I’d be safer. I could return home to my mom. See how she’s doing after surgery – which I still don’t know anything. She was asleep when I saw her and never got to find out that I’m alive.
Another part of me feels drawn to Dante.
Wants him to touch me. Really touch me himself.
Not just a sex toy. What would it be like to feel his hands on my body?
The thought sends a tingle between my legs.
The aches and bruises from where I was kicked is preventing me from feeling much pleasure though.
I just need to rest. Make it through this and then I can figure out how I feel.
I wake up the next morning to find Dante gazing down at me. There’s a softness to his expression I have never seen before. It makes him more handsome.
However, the moment he sees that I’m awake, that hardness takes over him again.
“How are you feeling?” he asks in a gruff tone. It’s like the sound of rocks pressing against each other.
“I still hurt but not as much as yesterday.”
He nods once. “That’s good. I figured you could use a bath. I drew one for you. Let me help you.”
His words shock me. “A bath? You’re going to help me?” The guest room has an ensuite bathroom I’ve been using but for Dante to help me himself? What world have I entered into?
“Yes. I figured that you’re hurt and you need help.
So I’m going to help you.” He picks me up into his arms before I can say anything and carries me into the bathroom where he already has the bath filled with water.
Gently, he sets me into the bath. I sigh when the warm water helps sooth the soreness everywhere. “Does that feel good?”
“Yes.”
“Then lean back.”
I do as he says. The last thing I have is energy to fight him on anything. And I don’t really want to.
Dante surprises me when he pours shampoo into his hand and lathers it into my hair. The sensation of his hands on my head sends tingles down my spine. It helps me relax further. We’re both silent as he washes my hair, like both of us are worried we’ll ruin this moment if we speak.
He has a bowl nearby which he uses to scoop up the water and pour it over my hair. His hand shields my eyes to prevent the soap and water from getting in. I never knew Dante had this kind of gentleness in him.
“You should show this side of you more often,” I say into the quiet room. For once, my voice sounds loud.
“What side would that be?”
“Nice. Kind.”
He leans into my ear, his breath tickling my neck. “But then where would be the fun in that?”
I shiver though I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. “You could still be kinder. It wouldn’t hurt.”
“Kindness is a weakness.”
“So then why are you being kind to me now?”
“Because Edward hurt you. You’re no fun to me if you’re hurt.”
“So that’s the only way you helped me? Because you still want to have fun with me?”
He sits back on his heels and looks away from me, putting up a silent wall between us. “Ever since I kidnapped you, Sienna, I’ve wanted to have fun with you.”
“Your definition of fun. You never asked me what my definition of fun is.”
“Fine. What’s your definition of fun?”
I shut my eyes, letting the memories wash over me.
“Days at the beach. We’d drive out to the coast as a family and I would stare out at the water for hours.
My eyes would even hurt from how long I looked.
But I didn’t care. Days like that were perfect.
” I open my eyes to find him watching me with that soft expression.
“Do you have any days like that? Have you ever?”
“Are you asking me to open up to you?” He lets out a low, dark chuckle. “I don’t open up to people.”
I grip the side of the tub. Water splashes onto his knees but he doesn’t comment on it. “Why not?”
“Why would I say? Then I would be revealing things about myself. Ergo, opening up.”
“Dante, please.”
His eyes darken. “I like hearing you say my name.”
My breath gets caught in my throat. “Dante.” It’s nice saying his name.
A strong, handsome name. “Please. Give me something. You’ve taken me prisoner.
You’ve done things to me no one else has.
You also protected me. You don’t make any sense.
Just tell me one thing about you. One perfect day you had growing up. ”
“Why would I tell someone I hate a thing like that?”
I flinch. “You hate me? You have a funny way of showing it given how you saved me. You could have let me get arrested but you fixed all of that for me. You could have let me on the floor where Edward beat me but you immediately called for your doctor. Why do these things for someone you hate?”
“Because,” he says, leaning close to my face, “I like having fun with you. You’re no good dead or locked away in a prison.”
“Just one thing,” I breathe out. His eyes flutter closed for a second. “Just one perfect day. It won’t hurt you to tell me.”
“You’re not going to drop it, are you?”
“Are you going to hurt me if I don’t drop it?”
He doesn’t respond, telling me everything I needed to know.
“Fine. Just one day. One day won’t hurt, I guess.
” He sighs, tilting his head to the ceiling.
“Ok. I have it. One perfect day when I was a child. My mother would take me out for ice cream when my father was in one of his moods. It was nice.” He pauses. “Until she would hit me again.”
“You said you hated your mother. That you were glad she was dead. But you never said how she died.”
He looks me right in the eye as he answers. “She killed herself. Took the cowardly way out.”
“And then you killed your father?”
“Sure. Whatever story you want to hear.”
I frown. “Are you making all of this up? Telling me what I want to hear? I have no idea if you’re telling the truth.”
“Why would I lie about my parents being assholes?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “But I feel like you’re not being honest with me. There’s a wall between us.”
“Of course there’s a wall between us, Sienna. You are not the woman I married. You’re the woman I kidnapped. Big difference. I don’t love you. Why would I share anything about myself with you?”
Tears hit my eyes and Dante doesn’t even show any remorse as they slowly fall down my face. “Because you know everything about me. Where I live. Who my mom is. You know I love her. You know my father is dead. It’s not fair.”
“Who ever said life was fair?”
“Did you really kill your father? You told me you found him with a prostitute and you killed him while he was having sex with her. Is that true?”
“What even is the truth?”
“Dante,” I say in a hard tone.
His eyes light up with excitement. That’s a dangerous thing when Dante is excited. “I like hearing you say my name like that. Powerful. It’s much better than you’re soft, demure voice.”
“I’ve been told to speak up my entire life. It gets tiring after a while.”
“If it gets tiring, then why not just speak up?”
“Because it’s not easy. It’s just who I am.”
“I could bring out the fire in you,” he murmurs. “In fact, I’ve already started. You’ve moaned for me, Sienna. And it was a glorious sound. It was the first time I’ve ever felt that close to God.”
I flush. “You’re mocking me.”
His expression turns cold. “And you’re trying to get me to open up to you. Why? So you can find a weakness in me?”
“No. So I can know the man who kidnapped me better. If you didn’t want to show me any kindness, why give me this bath? Why wash my hair?”
“As I said: you’re no fun to me if you’re hurt.”
I scoff. “I don’t believe you. You’ve hurt countless people.
Luciana told me what you did to her and her husband.
How you threatened to rape her with your gun.
How you locked the two of them in a metal box.
You enjoy hurting people. So why would you care if I’m hurt or not?
You could still touch me if I was bleeding. If I was dying in your arms.”
“But then if you were dead, I wouldn’t be able to have any fun with you. So there’s that.”
“You know I’m right,” I say, forcing my eyes into his. Now is not the time to be shy. It’s the time to be bold. “You’re hiding things from me.”
“Why do you think you have the right to know them?”
“I have every right. What you’ve done to me. It’s only fair.”
“You’ve enjoyed the things I’ve done to you.”
My face feels hot but I ignore it. “I have. That still doesn’t mean I’m not right. Just be honest with me for once, Dante. You saved me from Edward. You didn’t have to kill him but you did. For me.”