Chapter 26
Istand watching as Benny runs headlong towards the gaunt, ragged shadow.
Supposedly, Etta picked her Rettlings for more than just their strength in battle – I’m evidence enough of that – but there’s no way this could be the man I remember from all those weeks ago. A Rettling who survived the first trial. A member of the court in the Eastern Isles.
This man barely looks human.
And yet Benny’s pace doesn’t falter.
‘Loch, buddy.’ He reaches the figure and kneels on the ground in front of him, unthreatening, calm. ‘It’s me, Loch. It’s Benaris. Benny. It’s me.’
The man falters and his muttering subsides.
‘Idiot’s going to get himself killed,’ Kyor whispers beside me. His voice is so quiet I doubt anyone other than myself could hear, and yet, despite his distance from us, the man’s eyes spring up and look directly at the prince, as if he’s got some kind of magical hearing.
‘By the Mother.’ My words leave me on a gasp. ‘Benny’s right. It is him. It’s Loch.’
No quiet comment went unheard by the former Rettling of the Eastern Isles.
Conversations behind closed doors, fields away from where he stood, or in a private corner of a busy ballroom were no barrier to Loch.
He could pick out a single utterance the way a wolf can catch the scent of blood on an autumn breeze.
Incredibly useful when you need someone to spy for you.
I remember the first ball, when Benny sent Loch out to listen. I’d thought it harmless then. Now, knowing what I do, I wonder who he was really listening for.
‘Loch, you know me. You can trust me, remember.’ Benny speaks softly, as if he’s trying to tame a wild animal. ‘Gods, I’m so glad to see you, buddy. You have no idea how good it is to see you.’ I don’t need Caz’s power to know he’s speaking the truth.
‘He’s one of the lost Rettlings …’ Ruben’s voice is filled with both awe and disbelief.
I turn and offer him a single nod in confirmation, and Ruben’s eyes light up.
For him, the Retterheld is something glamorous, to be admired.
For us, it was a living hell for weeks on end where you never knew what you’d face or when. Never knew if you’d escape alive.
Just like Loch didn’t … or so we thought.
‘We need to get him food and water,’ Benny says, his voice clear. Commanding. ‘It looks like he’s got some infections, too,’ he adds, looking at me. ‘Have you got something for that?’
‘Yes, I’ve got some medical supplies in my bag,’ I tell him. ‘I’m sure I’ll have something that can help.’
I hasten back to the horses and find the satchel I packed with Mother’s old tonics and herbs that were still potent. When I return, Loch is crouched on the ground, rocking slightly.
‘Here, Loch.’ I offer him water first, which he looks at hesitantly before grabbing the flask and downing it like it’s the first drop he’s had in months.
‘How has he survived?’ I whisper to Benny, not that there’s any point in keeping my voice low. I might as well have shouted for all my hushed voice did to stop Loch from hearing me.
‘I don’t know. It’s a miracle. Maybe Etta did favour us after all.’ He turns to look at me. ‘Look, I know you wanted to get a couple more hours riding in today, and I hate to ask—’
‘You don’t have to,’ I tell him, putting my hand on his shoulder and smiling, even though the delay chafes. It’s the right thing to do, Mother’s ring or not. ‘We’ll set up camp here tonight. I’ll let the others know.’
‘Thank you,’ he murmurs gratefully, not taking his eyes off Loch.
We set up camp far earlier than usual, and I give Loch some medication to help combat his infection. After, he curls up by the fire, eyes wide but unseeing. Awake but unresponsive.
The group is wrapped in unease, and all eyes keep turning to our newest addition.
While the horses are tethered close by, the fire burns low and steady with Loch lying too close to it, breathing but silent.
No one else speaks much either. Perhaps because we know there is no such thing as a hushed conversation, not anymore.
Not with Loch here. Or perhaps it’s because we can’t find the words.
‘Given that we’re here for the night and we have more time than usual before night falls, I think we should try working on that power of yours,’ Kyor says, moving over to me.
‘Out here, there’s no one to see you practise.
If we can get you some semblance of control before we reach the Issen, I’d be happier. ’
That makes sense, and doing nothing is almost unbearable, and so I nod.
‘Okay. I’ll work on it when I’m somewhere I won’t put the others at risk.’
‘We can go a little way off. Elska’ll still be able to hear this lot and alert us to any danger. You need to focus on seeing if you can draw on it at command.’
I dislike obeying him, but he’s right. I do need to get a handle on this, and if I can learn enough on this journey, perhaps we won’t even need to reach our destination.
Maybe I won’t need the Issen to teach me at all.
It’s a fool’s hope, but I cling to it all the same.
We move a little way away to an adjoining clearing.
‘Probably best if you go to the other end?’ I suggest to Kyor. ‘Just so you’ve got a bit of a head start if I do lose control.’
‘I’d prefer you just didn’t lose control,’ he counters, but moves across to the end of the clearing anyway. ‘Try to conjure some ice,’ Kyor calls over. ‘Or freeze the ground. Whatever you think will come easiest.’
I tug the cold magic within me, but it’s sluggish and lethargic, and try as I might, I can’t do more than cool the air slightly. And truthfully? That may just be the effect of the waning sun.
We persevere for an hour but achieve precisely fuck all with my Issen powers.
‘Maybe you’re trying to do too much,’ Kyor says, having returned to my side when it became clear no massive bursts of magic were about to fly from my fingertips. ‘What about a light frost?’
‘I’ve already tried that,’ I tell him grumpily.
‘Maybe focus on an object then. Like a tree. Or something smaller. A leaf, even.’ I know he’s trying to be helpful, but every suggestion Kyor makes grates more and more.
Could I grow a vine and strangle him? Yes, easily. Can I make it even a little frost-covered? Not for shit.
Frustration is biting at me when Ruben walks into the clearing.
‘Food is ready,’ he says.
Kyor glares. ‘She doesn’t need food just now. She needs to get a grip on this.’
Ruben scoffs. ‘And it’s going well, is it?’
‘No,’ Kyor agrees between gritted teeth, ‘but that’s because it’s going to take practice. Hard work. Discipline. Something she’s perfectly capable of showing, if you don’t keep interrupting us. Of course, you’d know nothing about that.’
I don’t doubt that most people would hear the threat in Kyor’s voice and leave, but rather than retreat, Ruben squares up to the prince. ‘Fuck you. She’s tired. We’ve had several long days on the road. She needs someone to take care of her. She needs food and rest, not you breathing down her neck.’
Kyor’s teeth grind together. ‘I am taking care of her. The way she actually needs. This has nothing to do with you. How about you leave the people with actual powers to discuss what Rose needs.’
My temper spikes. What I need is some men in my life who don’t talk about me as if I’m not there and let me make my own fucking decisions.
‘She needs to eat,’ Ruben repeats.
‘What she needs is—’
I don’t hear what Kyor’s suggestion is. Instead, a loud growl rattles from my throat, and I throw my hand out. Ice coats everything in a ten-foot radius as bubbling anger and resentment roar through me. It is pouring from me, and I can’t make it stop.
Kyor’s fingers touch my wrist.
‘Take a deep breath, Thorn,’ he instructs in that silky voice of his. ‘In and out. Low and slow. Just like that,’ he says as I do as he suggests.
Slowly, the ice stops.
He pulls his fingers from my skin, and my flesh instantly misses his.
‘Thanks,’ I croak.
He offers me a small smile. ‘I know you, Rose Kultavaris.’
And damn him for that.
I take a few more deep breaths, and then I turn to the men, mostly to check that I haven’t frozen them too, but what I find is even more shocking. Ruben and Kyor are standing there, eyes glinting, grinning at one another like co-conspirators.
‘Yup, it’s definitely anger that makes her let loose,’ Ruben notes.
My mouth hangs open. ‘Oh fuck off! Did you two actually just work together to deliberately piss me off?’
‘Needs must.’ Kyor shrugs. ‘You know I’d do anything to help you.’ He smiles at me. ‘Proud of you, Thorn.’ He looks away, his eyes going distant. ‘Elska is calling. I have to go.’ He walks off and willingly leaves me alone with Ruben.
Ruben waits until Kyor is out of sight. ‘I get you were out of my league before, Rosey, but this power’s incredible. You know that, right? If I had just a hint of it …’ I hear the wistfulness in his tone, the na?ve belief that having magic and power are all you need to fix things in your world.
I thought that once too. But now I have more power than I ever dreamed possible, and my world is still broken.
‘Trust me, if I could take some of my magic and give it to you, I would.’
I don’t say it just to appease him – it’s true. If I could take even a jot of the power I have and transfer it to him, I would. I would pour it straight into him.
My stomach grumbles. ‘Come on, let’s go get something to eat … unless that was pure fabrication on your part?’
He laughs. ‘No, that was real. The food is ready.’
I place my hand on his shoulder, my thoughts still focused on the desire to shift the magic into him, and it feels like something unhooks in my chest. Like a latch giving way. Ruben abruptly jumps away from me, shifting my hand from him.
‘Rose … you’re doing that, right?’ His voice is questioning and I see why. The ice that coated the ground moments ago is visibly melting, rapidly disappearing before our eyes. ‘Rose?’
As he turns and looks at me, I step back. ‘I … I’m not sure? I don’t think so, but my magic …’ I can feel something flowing through me. Something new. Unworldly. ‘I don’t know,’ I admit.