Chapter 28
The next morning, I awaken with gritty eyes and a tiredness in my limbs that suggests I barely slept. The others seem to have suffered similarly, and silence has settled into the bones of the group.
‘How was Loch last night?’ I ask Benny as he loads up his saddlebags. ‘Has he said anything to you?’
‘Nothing that makes sense,’ he admits.
‘But he recognises you? Knows who you are?’
‘I think so. It’s tough to tell. I’m not sure whether he can ride or not,’ Benny says. ‘Probably best he doubles up with me.’
None of us object; as mean as it is, I think we’d all rather Loch ride with Benny than one of us.
We’ve been cycling through the horses so that they only need to carry two of us once every three days.
With Loch’s arrival, it means they only get one day’s break in every three.
It’s not like there’s much weight to the former Rettling, but still, the horses are beginning to look as weary as we feel.
I chew my lip. ‘Kyor?’
He turns to look at me.
His expression softens the instant our eyes meet, the hard lines of prince and commander easing into something painfully familiar. For a moment, it’s just us, like it used to be before vows and crowns and broken hearts got in the way.
‘Can I ride with you?’ I gesture behind me to Loch’s general vicinity.
He smiles. ‘Thorn, I’d love nothing more than to have you between my legs.’
Despite myself, my lips curl up. I can admit to myself that I’ve missed his flirting and that nickname that ignites something in the pit of my stomach.
His arms come around me as we settle on Elska’s back, caging me in, his chest a solid warmth at my spine. Every jolt of the wolf’s movement presses me back against him, and I’m far too aware of every place our bodies touch.
We ride north, and I find I’m suddenly filled with doubts.
Am I doing the right thing, dragging my friends around Afaven Forest to find my mother’s ring? What if the visions are nothing more than insanity? Yet I swear I can almost feel its presence, like a pressure at the base of my spine, pushing me on to find it.
All we’ve got are Elska’s instincts and memories to say we’re in the right part of the forest, and what if she’s wrong? What if she’s lost?
It’s a thought I’d never dare voice in her company. I’m brave, but I’m no fool.
Still, all it would take is for our path to be a metre off to the left or the right and we’d miss the ring entirely.
‘Hey Rose, you got a minute?’ Ruben asks as he rides up beside us a short while later.
‘Sure, what’s up?’
I try to make it look like I wasn’t deeply settled into Kyor’s chest. I might not have any intention of rekindling things with the prince, but the last thing Ruben needs is to be reminded that I chose not to be with the man I love over actually being with him. That’s just shit.
‘I was thinking …’ Ruben continues. ‘Maybe your vision of the ring wasn’t about the ring at all. Maybe it was a metaphor. Maybe what we were supposed to find was Loch. I mean, the ring’s not worth anything, is it? Other than sentimental value?’
‘I don’t think so,’ I admit. ‘I mean, it’s worth coin, but nothing beyond that.’
‘So maybe the vision’s purpose was to lead you to find Loch? I feel like that would make more sense if you guys were friends in the Retterheld, right?’
I wouldn’t go as far as to say we were friends, but we were definitely part of an alliance.
‘Maybe,’ I admit. ‘If we’ve not found the ring by tonight, I’ll reassess,’ I promise, but my words are empty. I know I need that ring, even if I can’t articulate why.
Ruben frowns, and I know what he’s thinking.
He, like the others, wants to get out of the forest as quickly as possible, but instead we’re plunging ever deeper into it.
It isn’t as if I enjoy being here any more than they do, but the thought of abandoning the ring is enough to cause that pressure to reform at the base of my spine.
‘Okay. And look.’ He holds out his palm and a small flame appears.
I gasp. ‘The power … it’s staying?’
‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘So far. I’ve been pretty chill with it.
Seeing how little I need to light a fire, that type of thing.
I can feel it’s not as strong as it was, but I reckon if I keep using it sparingly like this, I should have enough power to get through a few days with a flame.
’ Pride puffs out his chest, making my heart warm.
‘Nice.’ I smile because he’s so clearly delighted with himself. I get it, I really do. If all I’d gained was my green magic, I would have been thrilled too. ‘Let me know when it runs out; I’m happy to give you more if I can.’
Behind me, Kyor’s sudden tension is unmissable, but he doesn’t verbalise any complaints.
‘Thanks. I suppose we should try it, if only to make sure you can do it again. And I’d like to see if I can do a few other things, too.’
‘Other things? Like?’
‘Like burning without a flame, maybe? I was trying on wood. Seeing if I could just up my heat enough to do that. Maybe it’ll be impossible, but I won’t know until I try, right?’
‘Ahh yes, nothing says macho like burning your initials into a tree.’ Kyor snorts.
I twist in his arms to give him a flat look.
‘What? I’m just saying that if your power can be replaced with a lighter or a flick knife, then it really doesn’t have much point, does it?’
‘You’re right,’ Ruben says, seemingly unflustered by the belittlement.
‘Maybe I should work on heating up something else.’ He bites down on his bottom lip as if he’s contemplating the idea.
‘Maybe Rose and I could experiment together. I’m sure I remember there were certain parts of her I got pretty hot when it was cold in the slums, right? ’
I sigh. I have no idea what Ruben is up to. We talked, we agreed he and I were never going to happen, and yet here he is, deliberately riling up the prince.
And the worst part is, some traitorous part of me likes it. Likes the way Kyor’s grip tightens on my waist, the way his breath turns sharp and possessive against my neck. It’s insane, craving proof he cares, even in the form of petty jealousy.
It makes me think that maybe Kyor did truly care about me, even if it wasn’t love.
And that is the kind of thought that fractures a person.
Kyor growls behind me. ‘You clearly didn’t do that good a job,’ he bites back to Ruben, ‘or she wouldn’t have ended up in my bed, would she?’
‘Oh, don’t worry, I’m in it for the long game, which from what I’ve heard isn’t your forte.’ Ruben tosses Kyor a patronising wink.
‘Enough!’ I snap. ‘I really don’t need this dick-swinging conversation right now.’
As Ruben falls silent, Kyor mutters something.
‘What was that?’ I ask. My eyebrows rise so high they all but hit my hairline as I glare at him. ‘Something you want to say, Kyor?’
‘He said, “Is his dick even big enough to swing?”’ Loch calls from behind us.
Benny and Caz burst out laughing. I can see the hope in Benny’s eyes, that Loch may have turned a corner in his recovery.
I eye the older man, who is smirking slightly.
Fucking typical. The first intelligible thing Loch decides to say, and that’s what he goes with?
Unable to cope with the lot of them, I squeeze my heels into Elska’s sides a little. She turns her head towards me and growls. Oh-kay. No trying to control Elska. Noted.
Kyor seems amused, and the confrontation with Ruben hasn’t left him stewing like it might have done in days prior, so that’s something.
‘Why are you being so calm?’ I ask.
He leans forward, his breath tickling the shell of my ear. ‘You’re in my arms, not his. And before long, you’ll be back in my bed, not his. We’re inevitable, Rose. Like the rising sun.’
I huff. ‘No, we’re not. I need someone I can trust,’ I tell him pointedly for what feels like the millionth time, but my body moves against my will, leaning back into him just a little more.
Kyor’s chuckle skims a breath against my ear. ‘You should keep wriggling against me, Thorn. I like it.’
His fingers splay and squeeze at my waist, and combined with the gravelly husk in his tone, it’s enough to cause all the muscles in my body to sink even deeper into him.
‘Fuck!’ I mutter as I feel just how much he likes it. I bite my lip, doing all I can to stop a moan escaping, and he laughs again.
‘I did warn you.’
‘Yeah, you’re a real gentleman,’ I say sarcastically. ‘That’s why your cock is pressing into me.’ I shift myself deliberately forward on Elska’s back, even though I instantly miss his warmth.
Kyor groans. ‘Don’t use those words together. It’s not fair. Not when I want to press it into you in a very different place, my love.’
‘Don’t call me that,’ I snap.
‘I’ll call you whatever I please,’ he says languidly as he reaches an arm around me and pulls me flush against him again.
I try to ignore how much I like it. Try to ignore the way the rhythm of the wolf’s stride has my body rubbing up and down his length, wishing I could feel it without the confines of fabric between us.
But that’s insanity. It’s only tiredness and a lack of physical touch that’s making me feel that way.
Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
Luckily, Benny and Loch join us up front shortly thereafter, though the latter’s constant vigilance sets my teeth on edge. Loch is always tense, always listening for danger. His eyes are wide as he mutters and whispers.
Maybe it should be reassuring, having him with us, knowing he’ll hear even the slightest hint of danger before it’s upon us.
But it’s not. His constant state of anxiety is just stoking my pulse higher and higher.
Add to that the fact that the woodland is thickening into something far darker and more oppressive, and I’ve never felt more relieved than when Kyor calls it a day and suggests we set up camp for the night.
Exhaustion pulls at my bones even as the tension between Kyor and me coils tighter with every heated glance. And there have been many today, along with numerous gentle caresses as we’ve ridden, which I’ve tried my best to ignore.