Chapter 54
For half a heartbeat, I don’t react. My mind stutters, outraged and breathless all at once. That taste. The firmness. His mouth moves against mine with purpose, commanding and unyielding, as if he’s daring me to pull away.
I don’t.
Etta help me, I can’t.
The world narrows to heat and pressure and the way his hand tightens on my arm, steadying, anchoring. Still holding me firm, he runs his fingers down towards my hand, then slides across to the small of my back.
At the firmness of his touch the chaos inside me recoils, the magic skittering back like a fire that’s been put out.
A gasp escapes me, and Kyor deepens the kiss instinctively.
Soft snow falls all around us, gentle flakes settling on my hair, my skin, and all the while he builds a fire inside me with the delicious, deliberate stroke of his tongue against mine.
Was it snowing before? I don’t know, nor do I care.
He is warm, insistent, and tastes of everything I have ever needed. Each moment of touch makes me want him more deeply and fully. And from the way his mouth plunders mine so ruthlessly, he feels the same.
‘Thorn …’ My name is barely a mumble on his lips, but it’s enough to have me dripping with need, the heat in my stomach rising.
Wordlessly, his forehead drops briefly to mine before his hand drops from my back and his grip loosens, though he doesn’t let go of me entirely.
‘You’re calm now,’ he says quietly, his voice rough around the edges.
‘Apparently so.’ My own voice is husky, breathless. Without his touch to distract me, the horror of my thoughts begins to seep back in.
Seeing it, Kyor gathers me into his arms, brushing his hand across my jaw. ‘We will find the Issen, and they will train you so that you can train Kay, and then once you can safely control your magic, we’ll leave.’
I laugh at how easily he makes it sound, only to still immediately after. ‘Wait … you’re supposed to stop at the Hirathean Pass, not come with us into Issen.’
He shrugs and offers me a lopsided grin. ‘I was always coming with you, Rose. I’m with you until the end.’
The words hit me like a punch. He’s with me until the end.
But what end? The end of this journey, or the end of our lives?
From somewhere in the distance comes the sound of the camp, Benny and Ruben’s laughter drifting into the ether like smoke in the wind.
But all I can see, all I can hear – all I need – is right in front of me.
Desire swells, sharp and heady. There’s still so much bullshit between us, so much I still don’t know – and secrets of my own that I cannot share – but it doesn’t matter how many lies still breathe the air we share, this hunger for him is one truth I know – for both of us.
Which is why I push my lips to his.
I might not be able to tell which of us is the mistletoe, but maybe it’s because we go deeper than that.
We are the roots of the tree, tangled beneath the surface of the earth.
A thousand strands so entwined that any attempt at separation causes the other irrevocable damage.
Maybe that is who we are meant to be, holding each other steady, while also being capable of bringing one another toppling to the earth.
For a heartbeat Kyor is utterly still, as though he is debating whether we are as inevitable as he claimed.
But I’m not hesitating now. Doomed or not, right now, I need him and want him entirely, and he knows it. He has to know it.
In the space of one sharp breath, he’s crushing me to his chest, arms pinning me to him, desperate to pull me as close as he possibly can.
And the feeling is mutual. Any space between us is too much right now, and so I fist his hair and pull him closer to me, determined to close even the tiniest of gaps.
The kiss is hot, consuming, all heat and hunger and everything we’ve been circling for too long.
‘Rose,’ he breathes raggedly, my name sounding like a warning, yet it only serves to elicit broken gasps against his mouth, which he answers with a growl, hands sliding up my back.
Magic prickles faintly along my skin, sparks skating deliciously against my flesh where his touch lingers too long. Then the magic trails down across my stomach towards the heat that pools between my legs.
With every sensation the desperation inside me grows. My fingers clutch at his shirt, tugging him closer, closer, as if I could anchor myself in him and make the world stop spinning.
His mouth drifts from mine, along my jaw, my throat, leaving heat behind that makes my knees weak, but I don’t plan on staying standing for long. Not unless I can find myself a tree to pin him against.
The thought is overwhelming and it’s my turn for wandering hands.
With our lips still carving out silent promises, my palms reach under his shirt and meet the bare touch of his skin, tracing a line lower and lower, chasing the contact, the promise of more.
Yet as my fingertips encroach on his waistband, his entire body freezes.
In one stumbling step he darts away from me as if burned. Pain and confusion course through me as he drags both hands through his hair, his eyes dark and wild as his breath comes fast and shallow.
‘Fuck,’ he mutters, squeezing his eyes shut, jaw clenched as if he’s having to force himself to stay where he is.
Still aching with need, I reach for him. ‘Kyor, I want this. I—’
‘No, it’s the wolves,’ he says hoarsely. ‘They’re … mating.’
‘It’s the wolves?’
The word hits like cold water.
The heat doesn’t vanish, but understanding crashes in, hot and embarrassing.
I can feel it now, faint but unmistakable, Fen’s own urgency bleeding through the bond.
‘By the Gods.’ I tear my mind away from Fen’s, mortified, heat flooding my cheeks. The space between Kyor and me is suddenly too loud, too exposed.
So much for Fen and Elska hunting.
‘I’m sorry,’ Kyor says quietly, regret etched across his face. ‘I should have stopped sooner. I should have … I just …’
I shake my head, swallowing. ‘No. We both … I thought …’ I trail off, the rest too tangled to say. The moment hangs between us, unfinished and charged. Finally, I manage a weak breath of a laugh. ‘We should … go back?’ I say, hearing the hesitance in my voice.
I’m untangled from Fen now. Free to act of my own volition, and I know what I want. Just as I know what he wants. But as our eyes meet, Kyor nods once.
So that’s it. It’s over.
Without another word, I turn back to the camp, and he follows me in silence.