Chapter 23
ISABELLA
Idon’t know how to tell him.
A few hours ago, Anya brought me the pregnancy test. She wanted to wait with me, but I insisted that she go back downstairs with the others. The last thing I needed was for them to come up here to see what the holdup was.
Five minutes after that, the test showed my worst fear in little electronic letters. Pregnant. I just sat on the toilet, staring at it for who knows how long. Minutes, hours, years. I guess I was hoping that it might change.
So. I’m carrying Alexei’s baby. Now what do I do?
After a while, I got into bed and I just lay there under the covers, softly weeping until I drifted off to sleep.
At some point in the night, I felt the bed shift as Alexei climbed into bed with me.
He smelled heavily of alcohol. I guess he and the others found some booze somewhere in the cupboards, or maybe Anya got some when she was out.
The smell mixed with his natural scent was distracting and it knocked me right out of my sleep… so I got up.
I’m sitting next to the window looking out into the shadows around the cabin, seeing and not seeing the landscape.
A baby changes everything. I keep thinking about the events that have transpired since I married into this family.
I think about Anya’s take on how things work in ‘the brotherhood’ and I wonder what that looks like when trying to raise a child.
How does a mother navigate a culture that holds so much value on loyalty within the ranks of an organization?
Because that’s what this is at the end of the day.
It’s a business. His family, my family. It’s all just stockbrokers with guns.
It’s like a fucked, Bizarro-World rendition of what’s supposed to be a ‘family’ between us.
The truth is that I don’t really know what an actual family is supposed to look like.
That thought hits me like a ton of bricks. My eyes start to burn with tears again and a well of sobs comes up from somewhere deep within me. I cover my mouth in an effort to stop the sound, stifling it down to a whimper.
What kind of mother would I be if I tried to raise this child in the Bratva lifestyle?
Someone someday could be hunting him the way they’re coming for Alexei.
His own cousins could decide that he’s not worthy of life because they want to be next in line for Alexei’s place.
What if Alexei dies and I’m left with this baby and his father and all his ‘brothers’?
“Isabella?”
His voice is soft through the darkness, but it startles me. I gasp as I turn to the bed and see his silhouette lying on one elbow to look at me.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
I’m not. I’m not all right. I can’t hide it, but I can’t…
He gets up and walks over to me. The closer he gets, the more he sees my tears. I feel his rough hands take mine as he kneels down next to me. “Talk to me.”
I don’t want to talk. If I talk, then I’ll have to tell him. And I’m a mess. And I don’t want to be a mess. I need to feel something else.
His rough hands against my skin remind me of the kind of lover he can be.
As time has gone on, he’s been more and more tender with me, something that I’ve come to cherish.
I look up at his face, half obscured in shadow.
The part of his face that the blue moonlight catches lights up his brilliant eyes, making them seem pale.
I lean in and kiss him, hard. I take his face in my hands and suck on his bottom lip, forcing my tongue into his mouth. He responds, kissing me back with passion. He pulls away slightly and says, “Isabella—”
“Fuck me,” I say breathlessly as I kiss him again. This time, I take hold of his lip between my teeth, biting him a little. I don’t want his tenderness tonight. I want him to fuck me the way he did the first time. Harder, even. I need him to fuck the fear and despair right out of me.
He growls against my mouth. He breaks the kiss long enough to stand up. I stand with him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Please don’t talk to me. Don’t ask questions. Just give it to me like I know you can. Like no one else could ever do.
I run my hands down his bare chest, over his rock-hard pecs, and down the hills of his abs.
I shove my hand down his boxers, taking hold of his rock-hard cock.
He moans his approval as I stroke him. I bite his lip a second time and he winces…
then he grabs my wrists and yanks them away, pinning them behind me. The force makes my heart skip.
“You’re moving so fast, darling. What’s the rush?”
“I’m so hot for you,” I whisper, leaning into him to kiss his chest. “I need you to give it me hard. Fuck me. Murder my pussy. Make me scream your name.”
He tilts his head, a little smirk appearing. “Be careful what you wish for.”
“Don’t hold back on me tonight. Whatever you want to do—” He yanks my arms, and I gasp.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you can’t know what you’re asking.”
I can feel the tears coming again. It sounds like he’s going to deny me. I can’t handle it if he says no to me tonight. I swallow hard and say, “Yes, I do. Please, Alexei.”
He’s studying me. The glassiness of the tears in my eyes must be puzzling him. He glances down at my nightshirt briefly, then he releases my arms and says, “Take this off and lie down on the bed.”
I pull my nightshirt over my head and toss it on the floor.
Standing there in nothing but my panties, I watch as he walks over to a chair in the far corner of the room where he laid out his slacks.
He picks them up and pulls the belt out.
The sound of the buckle clattering against itself sends a shiver down my spine.
“Don’t make me tell you twice, Isabella.”
I obey him, lying down on the bed as he walks over with the belt. My heart races with a fear and excitement that I’ve never had before. He looks my body over in the moonlight. Just looking at him hovering over me is making me so wet.
“I’ve held back on punishing you,” he says softly. “Even when you deserve it. Running from me, defying what I tell you… you’ve had it coming for some time.”
My heart is pounding in my ears as I look down at the belt. It’s like a little secret has opened up inside me. That sting of leather against my ass I haven’t felt since I was a kid. I used to think something was wrong with me when I found myself leaning into the belt as it hit me.
And now… now he’s offering it to me. And I’m ready to accept it. Please, give me that sting across my ass.
“Panties off. On your stomach, Isabella.”
I roll over, my thighs sliding against the sudden wetness between my legs as I slip out of my panties. God, I need this. I don’t think I ever knew it until now. I need this so much.
His hand comes first, slapping my ass cheeks. “When are you going to learn,” he says, “That you’re mine? Do I have to claim every part of you before you know that?”
Smack! The belt comes down over my ass and suddenly, my skin is on fire. I gasp and a shaky moan slips from between my lips.
“This ass only belongs to me.” SMACK!
He hits me harder this time and my eyes roll up into my head. The pain is so delicious. So fucking perfect. SMACK! SMACK!
My toes are starting to curl as I involuntarily open my legs. I feel his breath on the back of my neck as he climbs onto the bed with me. “You want me to fuck that wet little snatch, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Please, Alexei.”
“Oh, my darling,” he croons into my ear. The warmth of his body pressing against mine, his cock against my sore ass, I can barely stand it. “You’re so sweet when you beg me.”
His warm tongue envelops my earlobe, sucking on it. I’m starting to squirm under him. I can hardly wait for him to be inside me.
He lifts up and says, “On your back.”
I turn over until I’m looking up at him, shirtless as he straddles me. He smiles through the darkness of the room at me. The reward of having pleased him warms something inside me.
“You have a tendency to wiggle around a little too much,” he says. “I told you that if you kept it up, I’d tie you down. Grab the headboard.”
I do as I’m told, reaching up and grabbing the headboard. He takes the belt and wraps it around my wrists.
“I’m going to give you what you’ve asked for,” he says as he secures my hands to the center post. “I’m going to fuck your pretty little pussy into oblivion. I’m going to make you nice and wet until you’re dripping… and then I’m going to claim your ass.”
My heart leaps up into my throat. I’ve never had anal sex before, and for all intents and purposes, it’s the last hole I possess that’s never been penetrated. “Wait,” I tell him. “I’ve never…”
“You asked for this,” he says as he gets up to take off his boxers. “I’m going to give you what you need, then I’m going to claim you for my own completely.”
Before I can speak, he takes hold of my thighs and spreads them, exposing me completely to him. The air hits my pussy and I know that he can see how wet I already am.
He smiles with approval. “Nice and wet. That is a very good start, baby.”
He lifts my legs up and enters me, thrusting so hard that I nearly see stars before my eyes. I pull against my restraints as his cock strikes the ache inside me over and over again. My moans are getting high and rough. God damn, I want to grab him, dig my nails into his back.
“You’re so fucking tight. You feel every. Single. Thing, don’t you, baby? I’m making those hot fucking walls shake.”
“Yes,” I moan. “You fuck me so good. Give it to me… every inch…”
Oh, this is just what I needed. What I wanted. My legs are in the air, toes curled as he drives himself into me. The slight sting of his hips slapping the backs of my thighs. A warm burning fills me as he leans in and kisses me, biting my lip hard.