Chapter 23 #2
The pain of my raw ass rubbing the sheets, the deep, warm pleasure of his thick cock inside me…
it’s glorious. I want to revel in it. Right before I feel my body start to give in to him, he slows down, lifting up and watching himself slowly enter me over and over.
“All that beautiful wetness on my cock,” he says.
“You feel it dripping down your pussy… down to your asshole, baby?”
“Yes,” I moan. I don’t know what I was thinking before. I want to be his. I want every part of me to be his. “I’m so fucking wet for you.”
He chuckles, then pushes my legs all the way back until my toes are practically over my head. I feel the head of his dick moving down to the tight pucker of my asshole. It’s already so slick with my own juices as he circles it.
It’s such a different sensation. Like a tongue moving over the ridges. I bite my lip, tasting the little bit of blood from where he bit me.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” I say desperately.
He studies me for a moment, then, “Relax yourself and just let me in.”
I’m sucking on my lip now as he presses his head into my asshole. There’s a slice of pain first, just the same as when he took my virginity. I do my best not to jump or twist away as he slowly slides inside me. The pain gives way to a deep, almost forbidden kind of pleasure.
Slow thrusts first. I feel every ridge and curve of his dick as he gets deeper and deeper inside my asshole with every thrust. He stays slow, thrusting harder with every entry.
“Fuck,” I moan as his thighs smack against my ass cheeks.
He reaches up with his free hand and unties my hands. “Play with your pussy for me.”
I do as I’m told, moving my hands over my slick clit, circling it the way that he always does it. He watches me, and I feel like he’s getting harder inside me.
“That’s it,” he moans. “Fuck yourself while I fuck you.”
I slide two of my fingers inside myself, and it feels like dipping my fingers into the warm ocean. My walls vibrate against my fingers as he fucks my ass harder. Oh, God… I’m going to come so fucking hard…
“You’re taking every inch of my cock so fucking good,” he moans. “I’m going to fill your ass, Isabella.”
“Fill me up,” I moan desperately.
“Tell me this ass is mine. Your mouth… your ass… your pussy… tell me it’s mine.”
“It’s yours,” I say without hesitation. “It’s all yours, Alexei.”
“That’s my girl,” he says as he speeds up. I match him, letting my fingers dive in and out of my dripping wet pussy.
“I need you to come on your fingers for me. Show me how you love this.”
His voice, his dick inside me, the feeling of his breath on my face. I crash hard. My back arches uncontrollably as my pussy tightens around my fingers. I feel his hot cum fill my ass as he moans above me.
My thighs shake uncontrollably as he makes his final thrusts into me.
“You look good enough to eat, baby,” he says as he pulls out of me and pulls my hands away, pinning them to my sides.
He lowers his face down to my clit. He sucks and licks me furiously as my thighs shiver against his face.
God, it feels so fucking good, my body starts to twist away as my orgasm shifts, taking control of my body.
He grabs my thighs and holds me, keeping me still as his tongue moves down to my ass, licking me in circles.
I reach down and grab a fistful of his hair, moaning loudly into the ceiling as I come completely apart in his arms.
When he finally releases me, I’m shaking like a leaf. I feel his kisses on my body, my neck, I feel him bite into my shoulder. It’s like nothing matters anymore. Just this feeling with him, his rough hands in my hair as he kisses my neck.
“You are mine, Isabella,” he says. “All mine.”
I can see the sky starting to change from here. It’s going to be morning soon.
My lip, my wrists, my pussy, and my asshole are aching, throbbing in the same rhythm and intensity.
He’s lying behind me, his arms around my waist and half-hard cock pressed against my ass, his warm breath brushing against the back of my neck.
I don’t think he’s asleep, but he’ll probably get there soon enough.
All of this… I could bear it. So long as at the end of the day, I’m in his arms. So long as he reminds me that no other man in the world could ever make me feel like this. I could take it all. The Bratva bullshit, the backstabbing and the crime. I could take every bit of it.
But… but I can’t ask a child to come with me through that fire. Lying here in this silence, I know that better than anything else. I can’t do it.
My hand moves down to my belly. Still flat, with no sign that there’s a life growing inside. That feeling of desperate hopelessness is gone. I guess he fucked it right out of me because I know now what conversation I need to have with him.
“Alexei,” I whisper. He grunts his response. “I have to tell you something.”
He doesn’t move for a second, and I think maybe he has fallen asleep. But then he takes in a deep breath and says, “Can’t it wait until morning?”
“No.” There’s no way to say this but to say it. “I’m pregnant.”
Nothing from him at first, and I immediately think that I need to repeat myself. He suddenly lifts up and looks down at me. “What?”
God. Do I have to say it again? “I’m—”
“I heard you,” he says softly. His eyes are reading my face. I wonder if he thinks I’m lying. He probably has a million questions, thoughts… We can’t get into that right now.
“I’ve been thinking,” I say slowly, “about us and this marriage and everything. And I’ve been thinking about how we were both raised in this life. And… and I don’t think I want to raise a child in this lifestyle.”
He’s just staring at me. I don’t know what this look is. His brow is furrowing slowly as I speak.
“I don’t know what it looks like to have a loving father who’s always there,” I say to him.
“Or what it’s like not to wonder if my mother drowned or was killed.
Or… or even this marriage. We’ve never dated or courted in any way.
In fact, before this, we barely even knew one another.
I don’t want this kind of life for our baby, Alexei. ”
“What are you saying?” he asks me.
Damn. He’s going to make me spell it out for him. I was so hoping that he would understand. “I want to leave. For real, I mean. Leave all of this shit behind so that we can have a real chance at doing things right…”
I don’t get the chance to finish. He sits up, glaring at me angrily. “We’re not leaving,” he says. “You’re not leaving.”
“Alexei—”
“This isn’t a game, Isabella. When are you going to get that? No one leaves the Bratva.”
I blink at him fearfully. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You’ve been operating like you can just pick up and leave whenever you want, but you can’t. Neither can I. There is no leaving this. This is our lives.”
I stiffen as I think about Annie and how she just disappeared off the map. I don’t understand why we can’t do that as well. He sighs and shakes his head.
“If I tried to leave,” he says, “really leave, I would be hunted down and I would be severely punished if I were caught. Maybe killed if they thought I was talking to law enforcement. There is no leaving.”
I nod slowly. “Maybe not for you.”
“Isabella—”
“I won’t do it, Alexei. I won’t raise a baby in this, all right?” I’m starting to raise my voice. “Do you understand me? I’m not going to do it.”
“You don’t have a choice. You’re mine—”
“Just because you know how to fuck me doesn’t mean that I’m your property,” I tell him. “Now, my mind is made up. I’d rather you come with me and get out while we can, but if not… if not, then I’ll just have to leave without you.”
He gets out of the bed in a huff and starts scanning the floor for his underwear. I watch as he finds it and puts them on, then goes to the chair where he laid out his clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“I need some air,” he says. “Don’t follow me.”
I watch helplessly as he gets the rest of his clothes on and leaves without another word. I stare at the door for a long time before I feel the tears start to come again.
Damn him and his stupid loyalist attitude. Fine. If he wants to stay, let him. I wipe the tears as they start streaming down my face.
Fucking let him.