Chapter 51 #2
"And I hated you because you hated me.", His eyes closed.
"I should've asked.", he regretted every moment he had wrongly accused her.
"You should have.", her voice was barely a whisper.
"I know.", A broken little smile graced her face, through her tears. Then Zaviyar looked at her again.
"There is something else.", Safiya's brows furrowed, as she asked him. The answer was already known to her, yet she held onto the last bit of hope that her intuition was wrong.
"When did you actually decide to change?", He hesitated, with his heart heavy in his chest, he murmured, "I didn't."
"I mean... I didn't change because I suddenly trusted you.", Her heart sank, even though she had seen it from a mile away.
"I was testing you.", she nodded fir him to continue. He looked ashamed.
"I started treating you like the wife you wanted me to be. I stayed close. I took care of you. I was gentle." His gaze dropped. "I wanted to see what you'd do if you believed I'd finally accepted you.", Safiya stared at him.
"You were testing me.", she asked though a bitter smile.
"I was pretending to love you. I know how terrible that sounds."
"It does.", A faint, humourless smile touched his lips.
"But somewhere along the way, I stopped pretending", She said nothing.
"I stopped looking for a motive behind everything you did. Stopped wondering what you wanted from me.", His fingers found hers.
"I started wanting things from you.", Her breath caught.
"Your attention. Your time. Your smile." His thumb brushed over her knuckles. "I started worrying when you were quiet. Missing you when you weren't there.", He swallowed.
"And I didn't even realise I'd fallen until I understood I had nothing left to prove.", His eyes lifted to hers.
"I still wanted you.", Safiya's eyes filled with tears.
"If this had only been an act, I would've stopped the moment I realised you weren't after my money.", He shook his head.
"But I couldn't. I didn't want to. ", A faint smile appeared through her tears.
"So that's why you lost your temper when I broke that portrait? Because you still hasn't accepted me and thought i was yet again trying to invade your privacy. That I was trying to enforce my wife title to fulfil dad's olans.", he nodded.
" sort of. Also, you could've been hurt.", he added making her frown.
A small silence settled between them.
"And Bhanur?" she whispered, " It changed you... "
"When Aadhira questioned you about us?", Zaviyar's expression hardened.
"I hated the look on your face when you couldn't defend us.", He took both her hands.
"That was when I knew."
"Knew what?", she asked, her brows furrowed, full of confusion.
"That somewhere between trying to prove you didn't love me...", His voice dropped "...I had fallen in love with you."
Safiya's lips trembled. He stepped closer, brushing a tear from her cheek.
"I don't know when I stopped pretending.", His forehead rested against hers.
"I only know that one day, there was nothing left to pretend about.", His thumb traced her cheek.
"I don't love you because you're my wife. I don't love you because our families wanted this.", His voice broke.
"I love you because somewhere between our stubbornness, our arguments, and our ridiculous habit of carrying everything alone...", A faint smile touched his lips.
"...you became my home."
Safiya closed her eyes as another tear slipped free.
"My peace.", He held her gaze, " and I would do anything to protect you. "
"And if tomorrow every promise our families ever made disappeared... if this marriage never existed... and the world gave me the choice all over again...", His fingers tightened around hers.
"I would still choose you.", his arms only seemed to tighten around her.
"Again.", His voice softened, "And again." Safiya threw her arms around his neck, burying her face against him as every month of hurt finally gave way.
Zaviyar held her tightly, his eyes closing as he pressed his face into her hair.
They had spent months loving each other while believing they were unwanted.
And now, in each other's arms, they finally understood the cruelest truth of all. They had never been fighting because they didn't love each other.
They had been fighting because they loved each other too much to believe they were loved in return.
"Tumhe sach mein lagta hai yeh rishta tik paayega, Zaviyar? Jahan rishte ki shuruwat hi jhoot se hui ho?"
(Do you really think this relationship will survive, Zaviyar, when it began with a lie?)
"Shuruwat jhoot se nahi, galatfehmi se hui thi.", His gaze held hers.
(It didn't begin with a lie, it began with a misunderstanding.)
"Jab tak hum ek doosre par aitbaar kar sakein aur ek doosre ko samajh sakein, tab tak tumhe mujhse door koi nahi kar sakta."
(As long as we can trust and understand each other, no one can keep you away from me.)
"Kya tum mera saath doge agar main galat hui? Tab bhi?", he nodded, kissing her temple.
(Will you stand by me if I'm wrong? Even then?)
"Doosron ke saamne-haan. Lekin akele mein tumhe samjhana mera farz hain."
(In front of others-yes. But in private, it will be my responsibility to make you understand.)
Safiya's lips curved faintly through her tears. "Aur woh contract?",
( And that contract? )
Zaviyar's expression softened.
"I am willing to forgive every mistake you make, Safiya, if it means I get to have you in my life." He paused before whispering, "Rahi baat contract ki... the only contract I recognize is our nikah certificate."
He brushed his thumb beneath her eye.
"Tumhara apne baba ke saath jo bhi contract tha, mujhe usse koi matlab nahi."
(Whatever contract you had with your father, I don't care about it.)
For the first time that night, the silence between them felt peaceful. Then Safiya smiled.
"There is something you should know too."
His brow lifted. "What?"
"I knew.", his eyes narrowed into slits.
"That you were pretending.", Zaviyar stared at her.
"I suspected," she corrected with a smile. "The suddenly perfect husband was a little too obvious.", she shrugged.
"I was never that good.", he added, knowing that fooling her wasn't really that easy. He had learned it the hard way.
"You weren't.", He laughed under his breath at her frown.
"I noticed the little things," she continued. "You remembered what I liked, waited for me, checked whether I'd eaten... and looked at me as though you were desperately trying to convince yourself you didn't care."
His smile faded.
"You weren't very convincing.", she smiled, remembering how irritated she was at the start. He shook his head, amused.
"Then why didn't you say anything?", Her smile disappeared.
"Because I was pretending too.", His eyes sharpened.
" That I was stupid, impulsive, loud. Everything you didn't like. Only later did i realise that, what i was in front of you, was the real me. The inner child in me which I could never be in front of everyone. "
" I didn't know what was real anymore." She lowered her gaze. "I'd spent so long believing you hated me that when you suddenly treated me like your wife, I didn't know whether to believe you or protect myself.", His fingers intertwined with hers.
"So you played along?", his eyes coudlnt hold her gaze.
"Yes.", she nodded.
"Why?", She looked into his eyes.
"Because some part of me wanted it to be real.", her answer made his eyes snap back to her, basking in the warmth of her hazel orbs.
"And the other part?", he asked, leaning into her,
" i was terrified it wasn't.", she gave him a tight lipped smile.
"When did you stop pretending?" he asked.
"I don't know.", He smiled faintly. "You're stealing my answer."
"Maybe it's the only answer that makes sense.", she thought for a moment.
"There were moments. Like the day you thought I'd been hurt."
"I was terrified."
"I know." Her smile softened. "That was when I thought... maybe there was a person underneath all that anger."
His eyes lowered.
"And then?"
"Then you kept proving me right."
A quiet smile touched his lips.
"I wish I'd known."
"Would it have changed anything?"
"Everything."
"No," she whispered. "We weren't ready."
He knew she was right.
They had entered their marriage carrying too much resentment and too many assumptions, never asking the questions that could have saved them.
"I think we fell in love while trying to figure out whether we hated each other," Safiya murmured.
"That sounds exactly like us.", She laughed softly.
"No more pretending?", she held out her pinky, and slowly his pinky intertwined with hers.
"No more pretending.", he said with a smile that reached his eyes.
"No more assumptions?", he added, and she repeated along.
"No more assumptions."
"And no more hiding things?", he added once again, only for her to giggle, "We'll try."
"Why only try?", he asked, frowning.
"Because we're both idiots."
He laughed. "Agreed."
She rested her head against his chest. After a moment, she lifted her face.
"There are some things I might do, and you might not like them, Safiya. Will you still accept me?"
She looked at him skeptically.
"Cheat on me, and I'll make sure you regret it. Hurt me, and I'll walk away without looking back. But if there are things you don't want to tell me, that's your choice. I won't force you to bare every part of yourself before you're ready."
Her expression softened, but only slightly.
"Just don't let the things you hide become things that hurt me. I can accept your flaws, Zaviyar. I can accept the parts of you that aren't easy to love. But I need honesty between us. Because I don't need you to be perfect... I need you to be real with me."
"I love you.", There was no hesitation this time.
"I know what it means now.", Zaviyar's breath caught. She cupped his face.
"So let me cherish you. Let me erase every misunderstanding. Let my heart finally know it can rest.", She leaned closer. Their noses brushed. Only a breath separated their lips.
"I just want-", His hand gently stopped her.