Chapter 54
We're quiet the whole way except for the part where we ask each other if we're okay, and the part where we both say no.
She takes me to the theater. It's dark until she flips on the lights. The A/C is loud and, given how cold it is in this big building, could power an entire galaxy.
She sits me in her office and brings me a spare pair of dance shoes to wear.
“Tell me what's going on,” she says, taking a seat at her desk.
“I got into a fight with my friend Felix.”
She nods as if to say “it happens.”
“I'm in love with him,” I add, and now she realizes.
“But you're also dating Byron?” she asks.
“It's complicated. Yes and no. Felix started seeing somebody else, so I started seeing Byron.”
“Oof. A mess,” she says, and I nod. “Do you think your friend is going to drop everything and declare his love for you now that you're dating Byron?”
“I don't know. I wish. I feel like I'm falling down a bottomless pit. I've felt like that for a long time. The pit is getting darker and darker, and now I can't even see myself.”
“This time in your life is temporary. Truthfully, every period in your life can be temporary. God knows I've learned that. When you're a teenager, it feels like eternity.”
“And what do you do until it's over?”
“Like Peter, keep chasing your shadow,” she says. “Took me fifty-five years to catch mine. Life is long, but it's worth the wait.”
“I just want Felix to love me back. I want to be with him always.”
“There is a future where that happens, or where it doesn't. And if it doesn't, I promise you'll be okay, as much as it hurts.
You may meet the real love of your life when you're twenty-five, or forty-five, or who knows.
For now, all you have is the present. Take a deep breath and focus on what's in front of you.
That's what I have to do sometimes.” She points to vase full of lilies on her desk and smells them.
“Just look at these flowers I got! Every cloud has a silver lining.”
“Not the clouds I've seen.”
Her phone buzzes, and her face changes when she looks at the screen. She wraps her purse around her shoulder and heads for the door. “I need to run home, okay? Just stay here and hang out.”
But hours pass, and Ms. Easterling isn't back. I'm so worn out from melting down on multiple fronts today that I take a nap on her leather couch. When I wake up, she's still not back.
I start to head out of her office, but something red catches my eye. It's a folder with Viola Maguire Talent Agency written on the front. My nosy fingers pry it halfway open, enough for me to find Byron's résumé and a headshot. So this is what he said they're giving to Ms. Maguire when she comes.
I dig through Ms. Easterling's drawers for a notepad and tear a blank sheet out before situating myself in her rolling chair.