You weren’t at school today.
I slip the paper into the red folder and put it back where it was, struggling with the exact dimensions of its location.
“You weren't at school today.”
I fly in the air like a cat. Byron's at the door, smiling.
“I decided to stay home and practice my lines,” I say.
“But you've got your lines down perfectly!”
“Never too perfectly. Just getting nervous, I guess.”
We head toward the main stage. Soon, the cast and crew trickle in, including the retirement home band Ms. Easterling was able to hire for our music. But she hasn't come back.
“Maybe she had an emergency with her dog. He's pretty old,” Naz says.
“This is our last dress rehearsal, so we gotta get started. I'll take over for Haise until she shows up,” Luis says, pushing himself onstage. “Crew, get set up for act one, scene one. Cast, go get dressed.”
Sita runs onstage with a burst of excitement. “You guys, the first night is totally sold out!”
Half of us clap and cheer, and the other half of us are gobsmacked.
“How? Who would buy so many tickets?” I ask.
Naz, practicing one of their dance moves, raises their hand. “My family is all flying in to see this. Half of Tehrangeles is going to be here!”
“Do they know what Pansgender! is about?”
“Well, some of them don't know what show they're seeing. They only know I'm in it. A lot of my family is cool. Maybe they don't fully approve of my identity, but they will cut a bitch if someone tries to boo me during the show.”
“At least we know there will be a crowd,” I say.
“My grandma and aunties are catering the cast party. Trust me, their ghormeh sabzi is going to rock your world.”
Once we're all ready, Luis calls us front and center.
“Okay, everybody. Some serious stuff to talk about. Ms. Easterling can't make it tonight. Somebody broke into her house and vandalized it. She's okay, but she's at the police station dealing with it.”
Everybody is shocked, but I can't pretend I am. We all know who did it. I tense up, knowing that this is on me.
“Also, due to all the threats we've been getting, Jarell's parents have pulled him from the show, so we have one less dancer and we don't have an understudy for Wade or Byron. But we'll make it work because we're gonna do this show. Screw these hater-ass bitches who want to bring us down.”
And so we begin.
The start of the dress rehearsal is a little bumpy, but it's because it's the first time we've done this to live music.
Once I get used to the band, I do pretty well in my own song.
But now I've got to do the death-roll pirouette in my costume.
While I go on autopilot during my song-and-dance routine, I think about the spot I need to pick for the spin.
I can't think of anything, which freezes me with panic.
Somehow, when the time comes, I suddenly picture my mom and dad out there. Not only do I spin once successfully, but I do it again, and then once more, like magic. Everybody stops what they're doing and showers me with applause and whistles.
“Wade to go, baby!” Byron screams.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm grinning like a doofus. It was like a sign that Mom and Dad are watching me. I generally don't like to think about it, but right now it makes my eyes wet in a good way.
The rest of the show is spotless. Everybody is like their own perfect little piece to this puzzle we've created. The Oyster Pit Senior Party Band doesn't know what they just watched, but their job is to play their instruments and keep quiet.
We run onstage to do our bows after the rehearsal. Byron and I do a little gag where I chase him behind the curtains and come out the other side carrying him while he wraps his arms around my neck. Once we're done, we all line up and sing the finale:
“Come fly with us, come stay with us, come slay with us at Never-Never Land!”
The lights go off. There's a smattering of applause from Luis and a few others sitting by him.
Byron pulls me behind a curtain and looks at me with a kind of happiness I have never seen from him, a genuine expression of joy lighting up his eyes.
He grabs me and kisses me, and between the curtains we feel like the only two people in the world.