23. Luke
TWENTY-THREE
LUKE
I tossed another unsalted peanut down the sidewalk, and the crow pounced on it. I hadn’t intended to feed the birds when I stopped by the Grizzly Grocer first thing this morning. I ran into Dana Wilcox while picking up takeout yesterday, and she kindly reminded me I owed her a new jar of peanuts.
Because I was the first one to show up at the Legion Hall, I decided to make a quick detour. A few blocks of walking might clear my head, and also get Mrs. Wilcox off my back. But the shortest route from the Legion Hall to her house went right past the church.
The same church I hadn’t stepped inside of for the better part of three years. I avoided driving by the place unless I was on duty. And even then, I refused to do more than give it a quick glance before I turned the corner.
Clearly I wasn’t in my right mind, or I’d have taken any other route.
Or maybe, I went this way on purpose.
The crow cawed at me, like a dog that’d waited long enough for the next handout. It was a wonder I didn’t attract a few of his friends. Because I wasn’t in a hurry—and I clearly wasn’t delivering an open jar of unsalted peanuts—I tossed the bird another and sat back.
I stared at the log and stone structure across the street for what might’ve been minutes or hours, still trying to piece together the moment everything went wrong.
“When Frank Mercer said he spotted you on a bench by the church, I told him he needed new glasses.”
Connor walked up to me, handed over a to-go coffee, and dropped onto the bench beside me. I wanted to be annoyed, but I couldn’t muster the energy for it.
We sat in silence for a stretch, Connor leisurely sipping his coffee, and me tossing peanuts to the crow.
Hell, maybe it was the same bird that crashed through Mrs. Wilcox’s window the other day and caused me to be late meeting Maggie at the duplex.
Unlikely, but a lot of unlikely things had been happening since Miss Mayhem arrived in town.
“Did you see her leave?” I finally asked Connor.
He followed my gaze across the street, and he just knew. “No.”
“How did she get out of that church without being seen?”
Raquel wasn’t a Bluebell Springs native.
I met her while in the service, and when I told her I was separating and moving home rather than reenlisting and accepting orders to Wheeler Army Airfield, I expected her to break up with me.
Instead, she insisted she wanted to move to Colorado with me, so I proposed.
Within weeks, she’d charmed the whole damn town.
Everyone knew her. Everyone recognized her.
And yet, she somehow snuck out of a crowded church without anyone the wiser.
“If someone saw her, they would’ve told you by now,” Connor said.
“Well, someone did see her.”
One of my groomsmen, a buddy I served with during my first tour in Afghanistan, drove the getaway car.
Or so we reasoned, since he also went missing around the same time.
He’d conveniently checked out of his hotel room a day ahead of schedule and gassed up his car on the way to the church.
Just another piece of evidence that pointed to Raquel’s escape being premeditated.
“You trying to find her or something?”
“No,” I said, meaning it. “She clearly didn’t want a life in Bluebell Springs.” A life with me.
It wasn’t cold feet that sent her on the run, it was some desperate desire for a whole new life I couldn’t give her. Or so her note said.
“Then, why have you been sitting outside this church for the better part of two hours?”
“Two hours?”
I glanced at my watch, shocked to see the time.
Fuck, had it been that long? I waited for the sense of urgency to kick me into gear, to send me marching back to the Legion Hall where I could drown out the noise in my head with some good, old-fashioned manual labor.
But when it didn’t come, I sank back against the bench.
I was so fucking tired of pretending I had it all figured out.
More than that, I was tired of running from the past as though if I only kept running fast enough, I could outpace it forever.
Last night proved that theory was a bust. The resentment, anger, and embarrassment I’d buried deep had surfaced without warning, all at the sight of a single dress.
“Phil and Bernie are arguing over who’s driving the tractor again, so you’re not missing anything.”
I took a long, slow sip of coffee, pleasantly surprised at the sweetness. I was lucky to have the brother I did. I needed to start appreciating that more.
“I fucked up.”
“With you, that could mean a lot of things, so you’ll have to be more specific.”
“Asshole,” I muttered, turning to hide my grin.
Connor waited, quietly sipping his coffee.
“I found Maggie in a wedding dress last night.” I waited for a quip or jab, but Connor stared straight ahead and waited for me to continue, so I did. “The damn thing was strangling her, so I had to literally cut her out of it with a pocketknife.”
“Oh, shit. Is she all right? Is she mad about the dress?”
“She didn’t need medical attention.”
I had no fucking clue if she was okay otherwise. Ellie made it clear I wasn’t welcome, and I took that sentiment to heart when the door slammed in my face. I’m sure the last thing she’d welcome was seeing me after I stuck my foot in my mouth and so far down my throat it was still lodged there.
“So, what’s the issue?”
“You should’ve seen the dress—and I don’t mean after I ripped the back of it so she could breathe again. It looked as though someone took a hacksaw to it before I even got there. The whole fucking thing was destroyed.”
I couldn’t fathom the amount of anger one had to harbor to cause the damage I saw. I couldn’t imagine Maggie harnessing rage like that. And yet, the dress said otherwise.
“What do you think that means?”
“Considering she made this comment about wanting to make sure there wouldn’t be a wedding, I think the conclusion is pretty easy to draw.” I dropped my elbows to my knees and scrubbed a hand through my hair. “But then I said some things . . .”
“Of course you did.” Connor took a long sip and tossed the empty cup in a nearby trash can, momentarily startling the crow, but not deterring the creature altogether. I tossed it another couple of peanuts. “Did you try apologizing?”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
Because as much as she drives me crazy, I like her. Because I crossed a line and kissed her as though she was my only source of oxygen. Because I can’t fucking think straight when I’m around her. Because it’s safer when she’s mad at me.
“Why does she just so happen to book a month in a small, out-of-the-way town she’s never even visited before, carting around a battered wedding dress? She’s been hiding it from me since she showed up. She’s running from something. She has to be.”
“So you automatically assume she jilted some poor sap at the altar because that’s what happened to you?” Connor shook his head. “I thought you had better detective skills than that.”
“What am I supposed to think?”
“I don’t know, but probably not guilty until proven innocent,” Connor chided. “You could try asking her.”
I doubted she’d tell me anything after the reaction I had, and how could I blame her?
I couldn’t make this apprehension just go away.
I considered doing a bit of my own digging into Magnolia Holland, but if I logged on to the system, even from home, I had a sneaking suspicion the mayor would receive some kind of red alert. That was a bear best left unpoked.
“Do you know what I felt after I heard Raquel skipped town on your wedding day?”
“Sorry for me?” I retorted.
“No.” The firmness in his tone made me sit up straighter. “I felt relieved.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Calm down, Vader. Of course I sympathized with you. It doesn’t get more front and center than having to announce to a packed church that the wedding’s off.” Connor reached into my peanut canister and tossed an offering of his own to the crow. “I would’ve done it, you know.”
“Done what?”
“Made the announcement. If you’d only told me first—”
“I didn’t want to put that burden on you.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Connor mumbled. “From the moment you moved home after Mom died, you’ve acted like it’s your responsibility to put everything back together.
You put on the badge before the Army even fully out-processed you.
You started worrying over Dad like he’s made of glass.
Hell, half the town calls you before they call 911. ”
“What’s your point?”
“I’ve always wondered whether you wanted Raquel, or you just wanted your life to make sense again.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Connor didn’t try to argue, which only irritated me further.
“And stop calling me Vader. You know I was always Skywalker for Halloween.”
“I’ll stop referring to you as Darth Vader when you stop carrying the weight of the entire galaxy on your shoulders. Luke Skywalker had a whole damn rebellion behind him.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I threw the crow a small handful of peanuts.
“I’ll tell you what,” Connor said, patting my leg as he stood. “I’ll manage the parade crew today. Why don’t you go do something to clear your head? Maybe hike a trail. Whisper Lake’s quite the sight this time of year. When’s the last time you were out there?”
Odd how my immediate reaction wasn’t I don’t have the fucking time. Huh.
“Not a bad idea, little brother.”
“I have a lot of good ideas, actually.”
“Since when?”
“Since the day I was born.”
“That’s news to me.”
“You might be surprised what you learn about other people when you stop deciding what they need and actually get to know them.”