Aiden #2
“I told you there was nothing to worry about. I knew my parents would handle it.” I say as I place the phone back onto the table, “now, what do you want for lunch? I say we order in, and then veg on the couch for the rest of the day. I know we both have some homework to get done before tomorrow.”
“I don’t really care what we get as long as I can have french fries as a side.” Bailey says as she crawls off my lap. “I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’m sure I look a little crazy after crying for so long.”
“You always look beautiful, Blue.” I say as she’s walking toward her room. She peaks over her shoulder and rewards me with one of her shy smiles. Bailey has never been good at taking compliments, and I’m not sure she fully believes me, no matter how many times I’ve told her she’s beautiful.
We arrive at her doctor’s office the next morning, and I’m a nervous wreck.
We are going to see Little Bear for the first time today.
I think I’m more nervous than Blue is. I know that this baby isn’t mine, but every part of me wishes it were.
Douchebag Daniel wants nothing to do with this baby, so I want to claim it as mine.
I’ve always secretly thought of Blue as mine, but she doesn’t see me as anything other than her best friend.
Us living together with no one else around will make it hard to keep my hands and thoughts to myself.
We may spend more time together than the typical “platonic” best friends, but we haven’t lived together since high school, and even then she didn’t technically live with us.
The most amount of time without a break she spent at our house at one time was two weeks when her parents were on vacation or on a business trip.
The last thing her or the baby needs is more stress, so I’m going to do my best to set any feelings that are anything more than friendly aside and be the best best friend/roommate a pregnant woman could ask for.
I head to take a seat in one of the chairs while Bailey goes to check in at the receptionist’s desk.
When they ask for her a form of payment, I had almost forgotten about what a shit show yesterday was, and that none of the cards in Bailey’s wallet would work.
I hop up before she can ask me, and I hand the receptionist my credit card.
Bailey gives me a shy smile and mutters a “thanks.” The receptionist hands me the card back and Bailey some paperwork to fill out.
We head to sit down, and Bailey gets to work filling out the paperwork.
She sniffles, and when I turn to her I see tears in her eyes.
“Blue, what’s going on?” I ask as I wrap my arm around her shoulder.
“This is just all too much. The last couple of weeks have been madness. Finding out about Little Bear, telling Daniel and that going so terribly, then my parents and that shitshow. Having to rely on you and your parents for everything. I am overwhelmed. I’ve got raging pregnancy hormones.
It’s just all too much.” She says. We had a similar conversation last night after we hung up with my parents.
I’ve never seen her so upset or overwhelmed, and I hate it.
“Blue, sweetheart, what can I do to make it better? How can I make you feel less overwhelmed?” I squeeze her shoulder.
“Go back in time and not let me sleep with Daniel? But even that seems like the wrong answer. I haven’t known about this baby for very long, but I’m already so attached.
I love them so much already, so I’m not even sure I would take it back.
I don’t know what you can do. Just keep holding me up like you always do.
I feel like my life is in a free fall, completely out of control.
Don’t let me fall, Bear. Please.” The last word comes out in a sob.
The desperation in her voice just about breaks me.
“I would never let you fall, Blue. We are going to get through this together, just like we always do. You, me, and Little Bear. We are in this together. I will hold you up when you feel like you can’t hold yourself.
I will be there for every appointment, every late night craving, holding your hair back when the morning sickness is too much, and for all the important moments for you and Little Bear.
” And I mean every word. I could spend my entire life in the friend zone, and I would support Bailey in any way I can.
It might be unbearably painful to just be this close to her forever and never be able to touch her the way I want to, but I will take any part of Bailey she’s willing to give me.