Chapter 25
Julian
My dick wakes up before I do. More accurately, Ever wakes my dick up when she rolls over on top of me.
She fell asleep with her head tucked under my chin last night, and once her breathing slowed to a rhythmic pace, it lulled me to sleep too.
Not the most comfortable position I’ve slept in, but Ever between my legs, pressed to my chest, more than makes up for it.
I glance at her phone on the charger to check the time.
It’s early. I’m careful not to move because I don’t want to wake her.
The raging hard-on isn’t helping though.
And I could really use the bathroom. I’m wondering how long I can hold it with her leaning on my bladder when I feel her head tilt up under my chin.
Since she’s awake, I do what my fingers are aching to do.
I run them through her hair, which always smells like sunshine and feels like silk.
Swiping it off her neck to flow down her back, I look down into her sleepy gray eyes.
She smiles shyly at me. She’s always shy in the mornings.
That I know this little quirk about her makes my crotch tighten. I touch my lips to her forehead and rub my thumb up and down the spot behind her ear. “Hi, pretty girl.”
“Hi, Julie.” She dips her head back down to nuzzle under my chin as she answers.
“Sleep okay?” I ignore the ache in my crotch and aim for politeness.
“Mm, yeah. Thanks for . . . This couldn’t have been very comfortable for you. So thanks.”
“It was fine. Good. I slept well.” I’m awkward, tripping over my words.
“Liar.” She calls me out, her raspy voice making the ache in my crotch worse.
I chuckle at her sass. “No, it was fine. I swear. But I could use the, uh, restroom.”
“Oh, of course.” She rolls off me and the bed so quickly that she stumbles until she finds her footing. Realizing she doesn’t have anywhere to escape to, being we’re in her room, she looks at me and shrugs while her face blooms crimson.
Ugh, this sweet girl is breaking me. And I don’t care if I’m undeserving or if it makes me a selfish asshole. I want her. And I know it’s a matter of time before we cross that line. She wants me just as much, which makes the ache in my chest match the ache in my crotch.
I tap her on the chin as I head to the bathroom.
I keep my other hand in front of my lower half to hopefully hide my morning wood, or at least not draw attention to it.
After I take a piss and brush my teeth, I pace back and forth a few steps.
Should I go back to her room and . . . check on her?
I decide to go outside and absorb the crisp morning air instead.
After a few stretches and deep breaths, I lean on the railing, wondering how to make this girl mine. The tug of war inside my soul is slowly dying. My desire is no match for my conscience.
I hear Ever’s door and turn as she steps outside. Her hair is knotted on top of her head in a strategic messy bun, her face looks freshly washed and she’s dressed in leggings and a cropped hoodie. One of my favorite outfits of hers.
My hand immediately flies to my chest, making small circles over the tattoo. “I was just about to head down and make some coffee. Want some?” I ask to distract myself from the skin peeking out from the bottom band of her hoodie.
“Let’s go grab some in town before we head to Fit. Wanna?” She dangles what I assume are Allie’s keys.
“Sure. Let me throw on some clothes. Two minutes.” I’d go anywhere with her right now if she asked.
Her capacity to compartmentalize and get on with her day amazes me.
I know some of the shit that could easily jade her, the small amount she’s shared with me, but here she is, sunny and bright, asking me to coffee.
She’d make a great first responder—the way she can tuck it all away.
Maybe that’s why she gives old soul energy.
Clearly this young beauty in front of me has lived before. I shake my head at my romantic musings.
Sweet Everly is turning me into a . . . poet? Dreamer?
Speaking of dreams, I want to propose something.
I’m not sure she’ll go for it. I’m not sure I’m capable of living up to my end of it.
But I find I can’t help suggesting it. Once the idea struck me, I wanted her to agree to it more than I’ve wanted anything, save one, but we don’t get do-overs.
I shake the thought away as quickly as it comes.
But, yeah, the only thing I might want more would involve turning back time, and I’m not even sure if more is accurate.
But since that’s not an option, I mentally shake off that train of thought as we head into town.
Town is only a few blocks away by city standards. In Blue Lake, those blocks are stretches of country highway, fields and fence lines with houses spaced acres apart. I switch my focus to how to pose the question I want to ask Ever. I start with small talk—which I’m admittedly bad at.
“So, how’d you sleep?”
“Still good. Just like the first time you asked me.” She softens her response with a wink.
“Oh, yeah, I did ask already. Didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” she says with a giggle. “Spit it out, Julie. What’s up?”
“That,” he exclaimed, like it explained everything.
“That, what? Gonna need a little more here.”
“I know.” I blow out a breath. “Okay, here’s the thing.
We seem to be in tune to each other. Get each other.
And we even . . . we sleep better together, right?
” I rush on before she can answer. “I mean, we both seem to . . . I don’t know .
. . torment ourselves in sleep with . . .
bad dreams of the past. But you said you slept well last night.
And you did. I was there. And the other night, when I .
. . when you came in . . . it . . . helped.
Maybe we could just sleep together. To .
. . you know . . .” Fuck, why did I always feel like a stupid kid around her?
I backpedal. “It’s probably a terrible idea.
Would probably just torture ourselves in a new way. Forget I brought it up.”