Chapter 30 #4
My hands that were clenching the pillowy comforter fly to curl around his neck and pull his head down harder.
The fade of hair on his nape, the texture, has me scraping my nails back and forth, almost scratching his skin there.
He moans a little and rolls his neck like he likes it.
I rub my hand up the back of his head, loving the soft spikiness of it, and press him tight to my chest.
His teeth nip at the sensitive bud, and I gasp. While one hand holds him down tight to my chest, the other flies back to the comforter, clenching it in my fist. With a low chuckle, he releases it with a pop and trails kisses down my stomach, dragging the bra with him as he goes.
I lift my hips as he shimmies it over them and down my legs, where I pull each leg free one by one. I didn’t know my bra would come off over my hips and ass. Where there is a will, I guess. The thought extracts a giggle that quickly turns to a moan when his lips find my center through my thong.
His lips tighten around my hardened bud as his fingers pull my thong to the side. He slides into the slick wetness effortlessly.
My hips rise to meet the welcome invasion.
“So wet, so soft.”
I barely hear him as his mouth continues to put pressure on my most sensitive spot. My hand moves from the back of his neck to his wrist, urging his hand to give me more. A second finger joins the first one, and I cry out.
His hand freezes, his fingers still inside me. His mouth stops. He eases his fingers out of me and reaches his other hand up to stretch himself out beside me. He nuzzles my neck and places soft kisses near my ear.
My chest heaves with intensity. I roll somewhat to face him, resting my hand on his chest. I feel his heart racing in time with mine and peer up into his eyes under my lashes. “Why’d you stop?”
“I just . . . want to be careful with you.” He heaves in a breath, telling me the restraint costs him. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Mmm,” I moan. “I could argue that you . . . stopping . . . hurts.”
His half smile shows in the moonlight and comes with that deep chuckle I love so much.
It sends another flood of moisture rushing between my legs, and I squirm slightly.
He brings his hand up to my face and traces one finger down my cheek.
The finger he just used on me. The finger that was just inside me?
I take his hand and lead it down my body to the vee of my legs and push his palm into my heat. “Don’t make me beg, Julie.”
“I think I’d probably like that.”
“Yeah? Like this? Please, Julie.” I lower my lashes, wanting to turn him on the way he turns me on, but I’m not sure I can pull it off without melting into a puddle of embarrassment.
His hard-on twitches against my leg, and it empowers me.
I say more as he draws circles around my sensitive bud through the satin lace of my thong. “I want you. So much. Please.”
“Please what, Ever? Tell me. What do you want?”
I’m new to all of this, especially the sexy talk.
Not even in my fantasies do I do that. But I like it, and I want to play along, because it’s turning me on.
I shut off the part of my brain that wants to overthink this and try to feel my way.
“I want to feel you, your hands on me. In me again. Please.” I beg as my pelvis squirms, unintentionally emphasizing my words.
“I got you, Ever. Easy, babe.” With that, he pulls my thong to the side and slides his finger into me again.
I moan deep in my throat. “Yesssss,” I hiss this through clenched teeth. My body feels like coiled wire ready to snap. God, I want this man. There’s no room in my brain for anything but him and what he’s doing to me and what I want him to do to me. I can’t think, only feel.
He’s pulling out and pushing into me harder and faster. I feel the pressure when he adds another finger and can’t help raising my hips to meet each thrust. His thumb hits my clit with each thrust and sends my back bowing off the bed each time.
I’m panting with the pressure building inside me.
His labored breath brushes my neck, my ear, my cheek as he places fevered kisses along my jaw. “Are you gonna come for me, sweet girl? Come for me, Ever.”
I cry out as my body clenches around his fingers and begins throbbing with my orgasm.
He slows his thrust and keeps moving in small circles inside me.
Every nerve ending down there is twitching, and I almost can’t take the sensation of his movements.
I reach down to clasp his wrist, to still his hand.
He pushes against my resistance and continues to make me come.
I feel the wetness seeping out of me. My breathing is so labored it’s more panting.
As he keeps moving his fingers lightly now and the waves subside, his lips touch my ear and he whispers, “Easy, babe. I got you. So beautiful, Ever.”
A tear slips down my cheek and stops when it meets his lips.
He kisses the trail of it all the way to the corner of my eye and rests his forehead on my temple. He slowly removes his fingers from me, and I immediately mourn the loss. I feel swollen and sore, but in a good way. And now empty and wanting more.
Julian rolls away from me, leaving his hand on my stomach as if to say he’s not going anywhere.
In the moonlight, I see him reach into the nightstand drawer and hear him grasp what sounds like a plastic wrapper. A condom. My heart leaps in my chest as heat and moisture rush to my center again. “I’m . . . on the pill . . . for my periods. If you . . . if we don’t . . . you know . . .”
He looks over his shoulder at me, and even in the darkness his eyes look dark, pupils huge. “I’ve been tested, and I’ve always used protection. I just want to be safe, responsible.”
I nod my head. “Yeah, okay.” I reach up to clasp his arm.
He rubs his hand in short strokes on my tummy before reaching into the drawer.
I let my arm fall and drape across my body, waiting. I want to touch myself, I’m so keyed up. I hear a top flip open on what sounds like a tube.
Julian stands, strips off his boxer briefs and returns to the edge of the bed. He rolls on the condom and strokes himself in the flickering candlelight. “This will help. I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, his hand moving up and down on himself.
I swallow. My throat is desert dry as I watch.
He turns his body toward me, one leg curled beside mine, the other bent over the edge of the bed.
The hand he just had on himself reaches for me, touching me again.
As soon as his fingers make contact, it sends a jolt straight to my sweet spot.
He slips a finger inside me again and moves his thumb in circles on my clit while his finger crooks in a come here motion, eliciting a deep moan from me.
He leans over to capture my moan with his lips, his tongue.
I can’t even kiss him back and instead pant as another orgasm starts to take over my body. I’m not even sure it took more than two minutes to send me writhing again. I can’t control my body or the sounds I’m making. I vaguely wonder if anyone has ever hyperventilated from an orgasm.
Then he’s whispering in my ear, “Sweet, Ever. So beautiful. I got you.”
As I come back to earth and my breathing slows, he gently positions himself between my legs.
He lifts one of my legs, pushing it up and bending it at the knee.
I instinctively hook it onto his hip, wrapping it around him.
I feel his smooth tip at my opening. He uses his hand to slowly ease himself in.
The tip slips in effortlessly. Pressing, he inches into me until he meets resistance and stops.
Don’t think. Just feel.
I grasp his hips and pull him down toward me, wanting all of him, my heart thudding so hard and so loud in my ears it’s like white noise.
In a blink he grabs my arms and pins them to the bed with his own, interlocking our fingers so we’re touching elbow to palm.
Our hands on either side of my head. He dips his head to mine and whispers urgently into my ear, “Let me go slow, Ever. I don’t want to hurt you.
” With our bodies touching from groin to forehead, he grinds his hips a little and rocks into me.
I feel the slipperiness, despite the tightness.
With each rocking motion, I feel him push into me a little more.
His chest grazes my nipples as he moves up and down, sending shock waves with each pass.
I’m experiencing so many sensations at once, I feel like I’ll break apart.
A slight burn down below, the electric shock in each nipple and now he’s kissing the side of my neck, which is curling my toes.
Then I feel it. The searing burn as the pressure intensifies.
Then a rip. I cry out, and Julian freezes.
I know he’s all the way in now because I can feel his rough manscaped stubble tickling the bundle of swollen and hypersensitive nerves.
After a few frozen moments, Julian kisses the corner of my lips, my temple. He rocks back and forth little by little, stretching me to accommodate him, placing tiny kisses along my neck. Sucking my pulse there as the pain eases, the burn subsides, and the sensitivity increases.
I’m digging my nails into the backs of his hands and arching my back. The sting of penetration is still there, but the urgency and craving is rivaling my discomfort.
He releases one of my hands to cradle my breast, lowers his head and takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.
With my now freed hand, I cling to the back of his neck and pull him to my breast tighter.
The rocking motion turns to grinding, then he slowly eases out of me an inch, maybe two and back in repeatedly until he slips in easily.
He repeats it, pulling out a little more, pushing back in a little harder each time. The tension building in both of us.
I feel him shaking with restraint, and I’m undone for the heart of this man. So gentle. So careful. I moan his name. “Julie.”
He answers right back. “Yeah? You okay, Ever?”
“M-hm. So good. Please don’t stop.” I breath the words more than say them.
That little chuckle again. “No chance. Ugh. You feel so good. So perfect.” He pulls out almost all the way and slams into me kind of hard. “You okay?” His words are breathless. “Feel good? Ugh, so wet. Tell me it feels good, Ever.”
“So good, Julie. I . . . ung, I’m gonna . . .” A half cry, half scream rips from my throat.
I wrap my legs tight around him and raise my hips to meet his thrust. I start shaking with the release of my orgasm and feel the convulsions in Julian inside me.
I cling to him as we both fall off the edge.
I feel the tears track into my ears from the corners of my eyes.
Just a couple. I’ve never read about that in any books.
I don’t know what to make of them, but so far, it’s my norm.
Maybe my body can’t take all the emotions and needs another avenue of release.
I squeeze my eyes shut, provoking another trail of tears.
Julian’s head was tucked into my neck as he came, his lips parted on my skin.
Now he rains little kisses on my neck, cheek, lips.
Light, feathery kisses as he rolls to the side and pulls my body with him, keeping our bodies as close together as he can.
“Hi,” he says when I roll toward him and look up at him under my lashes.
“Hi.” My brain wants to be shy, but my body is singing, so I say what my body wants to say. “Best graduation gift ever.”
It’s met with his alluring chuckle and a sweet kiss on the lips.