Chapter 32
Everly
Ismell the rain before my ears track the patter outside.
The slider is still partly open, and I can see the day is giving coastal vibes without the coast. Warm, muggy, overcast. I’ve always loved it.
Kinda mirrors my soul. Dark and broody. But today it looks fresh and cleansing. Just like it smells.
I’m not surprised to wake up alone. In all the weeks we’ve shared living space and then a bed, I’ve never woken before him.
I’ve wondered more than once if the guy even sleeps.
I figure he’s up drinking coffee, maybe even outside on the deck.
I wonder how he’ll greet me. Will we kiss?
Hug? More? My cheeks warm at the thought, and my center tingles.
I clench my thighs and feel the soreness with the pressure.
I press my hand to my crotch to both stave off my body’s reaction and ease the discomfort. I’m smiling so wide my cheeks ache.
I swipe his discarded shirt from the end of the bed and pull it down over my head and stretch my arms. Swinging my legs over the side, resting my toes on the floor, I reach for my phone on the nightstand.
I see his name on the screen, notifying me of a text—from him.
My heart sinks. He’s not here? This insecure morning-after mindset is something the books don’t prepare you for.
It’s all snuggly and sweet between the pages.
The real world launches a swarm of nervous butterflies and spiraling what-ifs.
Julian: Brew is slammed with campers dodging the rain. Helping Pete and Shelley man the crowd. I didn’t want to wake you. Take your time but come join the party when you wake up. I made you coffee. ??
Phew. The helper in me wants to run right down and get to work, but I need a shower.
I shift into work mode though and jet into the bathroom to crank the shower.
While the water warms, I head to the kitchen to pour coffee.
All thoughts of slow good morning kisses squelched, although it lands equal parts gloom and relief.
The rush would surely stave off any awkwardness.
Maybe by the time the crowd dissipates, we’ll have moved past the awkward morning-after portion of the program.
***
I’ve never had so much fun in a frenzied swarm.
Okay, I’ve never experienced or worked in a “frenzied swarm” before.
But still. Brew has been at capacity since I walked through the doors.
An “all hands on deck” scenario, and everyone showed up.
Lilly and Noah, their sisters, Pete and Shelley, of course.
The whole atmosphere is one of connected cheerfulness.
The gloomy weather did nothing to dampen spirits of the campers or the employees.
Even Letty came to seat people and bus tables.
She also brought a cooler full of juice shots and offered them to the waiting patrons.
“Most of the tables are low on napkins. I can fill them, but where do you keep the stock?” She pokes her head into the kitchen from the swinging doors.
“I got you, Letty. They’re on a shelf in the office.
I’ll run and grab them.” I set down the unopened pack of tortillas I just took from the refrigerator to continue our breakfast burrito assembly line.
“Be right back, guys,” I call to the little sisters over my shoulder as I push past the swinging doors into the main dining room of the café.
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I rush down the hall to the office.
The crack of the cue ball on the pool table in the game room just adds to the vibe.
Rushing past, I catch the group of young men playing pool.
My mind has seconds to register the familiar faces just before I hear his voice.
“Evvie? Oh my God. It is you.”
I freeze.
My heart slams against my rib cage like it wants to escape my chest. His hand on my shoulder turning my body is gentle but feels like a vise.
My teeth clamp down on my lower lip after my tongue juts out to pull it inward.
I look up into Chase’s face, beaming like we’re long-lost friends.
Like he isn’t the one who turned my life upside down.
“What are you doing here?” he asks conversationally. Looking down my body and back up to my face, taking in my appearance—leggings and a knotted oversized Brew shirt I snagged from Julian’s closet this morning. “Do you . . . work here?”
Work. Brew. Julian.
I snap out of my freeze state. “Uh, yeah, and . . . you can see we’re slammed so .
. . I better get back to it.” I turn and rush into the office, closing and locking the door behind me.
Leaning against the door, I begin to shake.
Tears roll down my cheeks one after the other silently as I sink to the floor.
Fuck! I knew it! I knew it would be him.
I let myself forget for a minute. Goddammit.
I want to run. Disappear. But I can’t go back out there.
I don’t want any of them to know I’m here.
But now he knows. I don’t want to leave Blue Lake.
That thought makes my stomach twist sickeningly.
I don’t know what to do. I wish I could rewind the morning.
I’d think more clearly. I’d pay more attention.
I could’ve seen him before he saw me. I could’ve avoided him, all of them, until they left.
No one would’ve known. Now it’s ruined. This place.
This life. I can’t start over again. Where would I even go this time?
The doorknob jiggling above my head sends me scurrying back from the door. “Ev?” Lilly. “Hey, you in there?”
“Uh, yeah.” I force my voice to project normalcy.
“Just had to, uh, just needed a minute. I’ll be right out.
” I hold my breath, waiting, listening. After a moment, I hear her footsteps retreat.
I exhale. I pull my legs up to my chest and curl my arms around them and, with my chin on my knees, I stare at the door.
I should be thinking of what to do next, but my mind is a blinding white room.
They say the mind is powerful. Mine is blank.
Beyond wishing this would all go away, I can’t figure my way out of this.
Did they all see me? Would he tell them if they didn’t?
I only noticed guys. Is Kendall here? Although I can’t see her camping, cabin or not.
The sound of a key sliding into the lock pierces my thought spiral moments before Julian’s frame fills the doorway. He’s crouching in front of me as the door latches behind him.
I look into the blue pools staring back at me and take a shaky breath.
“Hi, pretty girl.”
“Hi, Julie.”
“What’s going on in there?” His finger swipes my hair back from my temple and tucks it behind my ear.
My head swivels slowly from side to side as I lower my gaze. “I knew it would be him.”
His hand stills where it’s tracing lazy circles around my ear. His fingers snake around the back of my neck while his thumb urges my chin up. “Him who, Ever?” His jaw clenches on the question.
Blowing a shaky breath through my pursed lips, I confess. “Chase. I saw his last name. On the reservations. I didn’t think . . . I’d hoped it wasn’t. I should’ve checked. Been more careful. He saw me.” Another shaky breath. “He stopped me. He knows I’m here.”
“Okay.” Julian mirrors my exhale and sinks to the floor in front of me, crossing his legs.
That someone as muscled as him is flexible enough to cross his legs travels through the head haze and makes my radar, raising the corner of my mouth in a half smile.
His palms pace up and down along the sides of my thighs that are still tucked against my stomach.
Dipping his head to get in my line of vision again, he asks, “Did he hurt you? Touch you?”
I quickly shake my head. “No. no. He just . . . he called out to me. He stopped me. He knows it’s me. I can’t go back out there.”
“Ever.” Squeezing my thighs as he says my name brings my eyes level with his. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
I roll mine at that.
“You are,” he repeats. “And brave.” He nods as he adds that. “Give me a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.” When I don’t readily agree, he leans his face toward mine and presses his lips to my forehead. “Okay?” he asks again and then pecks my lips.
I nod.
He fluidly rises and disappears, closing the door behind him.
I stay as I am, turning my cheek to rest it on one knee. I wipe the dampness on the fabric of my leggings. Heat rises from my stomach and burns my chest, then my face.
I’m pissed.
Fuck Chase! Fuck all of them! I left their stupid town they seem to think they run.
They can have Oak Valley. Blue Lake is mine.
I’m starting to make a life here. One I like.
Maybe love. One I’m not letting go of. Or running from.
Fuck him. And Kendall. And all of them. Except Via and maybe Ryan.
Shit! Are they here too? Via would’ve told me.
Right? The fact that I’m not a hundred-percent confident of the answer pisses me off more.
I gather myself and stand with a half-cocked notion to call Via immediately and demand to know.
Then Julian is filling my vision again. His hands clasp my shoulders, drawing me into his arms. His wingspan impresses me despite my current meltdown. Each arm extends across my back, hands resting on opposite shoulders. “He’s gone.” He rests his chin on top of my head as he says it.
Stepping back, I drop my hands from his back to each hip and pin my stare on his. “For real?”
“For real.” He adds, “Can I fill you in later, after the crowd? But I promise, Ever, he’s gone. They all are.” He releases me from his grasp but wraps his pinkie around my forefinger as he pivots and softly tugs me toward the door.
I tug back and release his pinkie, my bottom lip finding my teeth again. “Here.” I spin and reach up for the box of napkins on the stock shelves to my right. “Can you give these to Letty on your way to the kitchen? I just need a minute.”
“Yeah.” He winks at me on his way out like he has every confidence I won’t bail.
And maybe that’s why I don’t.
I dip into the bathroom right outside the office door and peek at my reflection.
Splotchy skin, bloodshot eyes. Great! I wet my hands with the frigid tap water and place them on my cheeks.
I expect them to sizzle. I do that a few more times and decide it’s as good as it’s gonna get.
I swallow the urge to punch the image in the mirror.
When did the self-loathing start? Maybe when I ran instead of told Chase to fuck off to his face.
I hope Julian did. I stare back at the smug smile in the mirror.
You’re so brave behind your ripped . . . Is he my boyfriend? I shake off the train of my thoughts. One mental spiral at a time, Ev, okay?
I take three deep breaths and turn to rejoin the others. I want to help with the crowd. Via would be my first order of business when I finish at Brew.
***
“Oh my God, Evvie. WTF?” Via says the letters instead of the words.
She rarely says the word fuck. “If I’d had any idea, I would’ve said.
I swear. Ryan too. He said he didn’t know.
And he’s never mentioned you being at Allie’s.
To any of the crew. Not even Chase. He admits that Chase has brought you up a few times.
And he did ask Ryan to go camping with them. Guy trip. But we already had plans.”
I don’t know what to say to Via. I just listen to her spiral, wondering what to tell her about my life here. So much has happened since I first arrived. I feel like a completely different person from the one who walked away from Oak Valley just weeks ago.
“So, what did he say to you anyway?” Her question stops my musing.
“Nothing. I didn’t really give him the chance. We were slammed at Brew because of the rain so I made an excuse and bailed. When I came back from getting supplies, they were gone. But he texted me once, a while back. I didn’t respond and blocked the number.”
I purposely leave out that Julian took care of it.
First because I don’t know yet how he “took care of it.” And second, because Via doesn’t know about Julian yet.
I don’t even know how to explain Julian.
Except to say that I’d finally done what everyone in Oak Valley already accused me of and that it was mind blowing and that I couldn’t wait to do it again.
But Via isn’t going to hear any of that anyway.
I’m not even sure I can tell Lilly without setting my face on fire.
Just thinking about it sends heat to my cheeks and my center at once.
“Shit. He just texted Ryan, asking to swing by here. Shit, Evvie. Want me to ask him about texting you?”
“No!” I spit out instantly. “Let him wonder if he texted the wrong person.”
“Okay, I won’t say a word. Promise. Listen, Evvie, I wanted to tell you something. I was going to call you anyway. I wanted you to be the first to hear. Forget about Chase for a second. Fuck him. I have news.”
My heart skips then triple thuds in my chest. I can feel my pulse in the fingertips gripping my phone. But I fake calm well, or I used to. “Did you just say the F word, Via? Wow. This must be big.” I giggle. Not that Via doesn’t swear. She’s just selective about it so it tends to make the radar.
“Let’s just say Ryan and Chase have had some growing pains lately. But that’s a story for another day. So, listen, he didn’t go camping with them because he took me to the coast instead, where he . . . proposed.”
“Holy shit. You’re getting married?”